Posted by: The Stadium | December 21, 2008

The Chief Concern — Meta Knight

Meta Knight

by Lord Sakurai

– – –

Well, this is quite a surprise! Despite being such a popular character, the world has never seen much of…

…wait…

Who is Meta Knight?

It's Meta Knight, whose introduction was delayed for some reason. He's Kirby's...rival?

It's Meta Knight, whose introduction was delayed for some reason. He's Kirby's...rival?

Oh! I see my good friend Masahiro Sakurai has decided to help me out on this review! Amazing.

So, what else can you tell us about Meta Knight?

Despite being almost all head, his mask and cape exude coolness. He overwhelms enemies with his mach-speed sword!

Despite being almost all head, his mask and cape exude coolness. He overwhelms enemies with his mach-speed sword!

Fascinating. Now, I noticed while reading this moveset that a good deal of Meta Knight’s attacks seem to be pretty boring-sounding sword slashes. I imagine this would lead to a pretty visually-disinteresting fighter, but…

…well, maybe Sakurai-san can shed some light on this bafflement?

Wh-what the heck is this? What is going on? What kind of joke is this?

Wh-what the heck is this? What is going on? What kind of joke is this?

…Er, come again? It just seems to me that for such an interesting character, the author relied way too much on super-fast sword attacks, that all sound kind of simple. Heck, the aerial attacks are just mirrored version of each other!

He has so many peculiar moves! I want to explain them again.

But he has so many peculiar moves! I want to explain them again.

Alright, go ahead and do so. You’ve got me curious now…

Suck them up!

Suck them up!

Rush!!!

Rush!!!

Rise up while launching your sword up...

Rise up while launching your sword up...

The familiar move from the trailer.  He wraps himself in his cape, disappears, and reappears with this move.

The familiar move from the trailer. He wraps himself in his cape, disappears, and reappears with this move.

…Uh…

…Aren’t those just his Special Moves? It kind of goes without saying that those attacks are the easiest ones to dream up, and unfortunately most newcomers end up stopping there. I don’t mean to intimate anything…but are you sure you know what you’re doing here?

I mean, just from the look of things, that rising attack seems like it has a ridiculously-wide hitbox, and your description makes it sound extremely powerful, too–

...

...hey.

…Yes? Were you going to say some–

Take this!

Take this!

Wha–!!

...

...

…Wh…what was that? Are you…are you feeling okay, Sakurai-san?

...Eh? Whu--*belch*

...Eh? Whu--*belch*

Whoa, okay that’s it. I understand developing a game as large as Super Smash Bros. Brawl can take a lot out of guy, but this is generally an all-ages blog. I’m afraid I must draw the line at alchohol abuse.

Thank you for your time, Sakurai.

Toh!

Toh!

OKAY SERIOUSLY GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG

THAT IS FUCKING ALL

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Responses

  1. Best review ever.

  2. I concur

  3. I’m pretty sure the only thing that could top this (besides me doing this review instead) is a Mendez Review of Pikachu, featuring special guest Pikafan!

  4. I hope that Sakurai guy learns something from this review and improves his sets in the future. . .

  5. That was not very nice, admin-san. I’m going to take out wavedashing and nerf Fox because of you. I will also make another clone of Fox. Take that!

  6. I would love if you did all three of those things, Sakurai-san! 😀

    Your usual method of coercion won’t work on a SUPERIOR CASUALFAG like myself!!

  7. Best review ever.

  8. Casualfag, eh? How about I add tripping? TAKE THAT ADMIN-SAN!

  9. Once again, I previal, Sakurai-san. I find the act of videogame character randomly tripping to be quite comical–even better if they tend to do so just when it’s most unfortunate.

    By all means go right ahead.

  10. You.. you… ahgnn… feeling weak… must…. troll… casual…

    I’M GOING TO REPLACE ROY WITH IKE AND MEWTWO WITH LUCARIO.

    TAKE THAT!

    I LIKE PIE I AM RETARDED KIRBY SUCKS WHEE I AM A STINKY CRAP PILE HEAD LOL I AM A BAD GAME DESIGNER AND I DIDN’T PUT IN MEWTWO K. ROOL AND RIDLEY JUST TO MOCK YOU PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD’VE BEEN IN OVER CRAP PILES LIKE TOONLINKICECLIMBERSSHIEKFALCOROBMRGAMEANDWATCHPITLUCARIOJIGGLYPUFF

    OOPS I CRAPPED MYSELF

  11. NOOOOO I LOVED MEWTWO! and Ike’s a cooler character than that no-name Roy any day. ^.^

  12. Ehhnnnn…. cannot…. derive…. life….. need…..

    *dies*

  13. BRAAAAAAAAAAINS

  14. Tripping is the bomb. Especially when it’s Captain Falcon that’s doing the tripping.

  15. XD at the review. Also i like Ike way better than Roy lol. I think that Lucario is overrated as a pokemon anyway lol. Mewtwo is awesome lol.

  16. Wow, Sakurai’s English sure is coming along nicely!

  17. Guys don’t be so hard on Sakurai. He’s just trying to make a game. He’s a pretty cool guy.

  18. lmao, comedic genius.

  19. HEY!!! I’m like 99% sure that my name wasn’t “TWILTY” when i posted that comment :P.

  20. Okay, this is getting stupid. First of all, i’m going emo for everytime you call me a tree.

    *cuts self*

    Second of all, i’m no longer a Sagi fanboy any more. It’s either a Kalas, Gaara, Three Days Grace or soon to be Milliarde fanboy XD.

    Third of all, I love you guys. You’re hilarious.

  21. Twil, what are you talking about? You feel all right?

  22. WWWAAAHHHH?????? The third of all wasn’t there before……………

    Geniuses XP

  23. Why thank you, TWIL! How nice of you.

  24. >_>….

    You guys really are jerks lol…..

  25. Why the sudden change in attitude, Twil? I mean, you were saying such nice things about us before! 😦

  26. Yeah, what’s up with you these days, man? All these mood swings… and they come out of nowhere? I just don’t get it…

  27. ……….forget it 😛

  28. This review is hilarious and true.

  29. ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY! ROY’S OUR BOY!

  30. But WE LIKE IKE!!! WE DON’T LIKE ROY!! ;D


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