Posted by: bkupa666 | July 17, 2009

Bowser's Keep – Daroach

Page 10

Daroachdarth meanie

In case you didn’t know, Daroach was made by Hyper_Ridley back in MYM4.  I didn’t really read too far into Magmortar, what with how busy I can be in the summer.  Still, remembering the earlier Daroach set, I know that he’s a cool character with lots of room for unique and awesome moves.  Let’s see how you did with him…

Originality: Starting with the pre-moveset notes you have, the Hover seems like an interesting spin-off of Peach’s ability.  It seems like it can’t be abused too much, as the hover time isn’t too long, and you can’t do it if a foe knocks you up, unless you lose that momentum.  Air taunting is a nice touch, but I would like to know the speed Daroach can hover, as there is no mention of it.  Is it his dashing speed, or Peach’s hover speed, or something else?  I can’t really tell from the descriptions.  Kirby’s interactions are fitting, but instead of putting them at the beginning of the set, I’d put them under an extra Kirby Hat section.  Also, which attack does Kirby use for his Neutral Special when he gets the Triple Star?  F-Tilt, right?  It seems more fitting than U-Smash, but it doesn’t say anything about this.  I’d clarify this, if I were you.  The Dragoon-esque interaction to get the Star back is unique, but without it, Kirby couldn’t attack anyways, so couldn’t he just lose the whole hat and get it all back by inhaling Daroach again?  This is not a huge detail problem, as Kirby Hats don’t really have too much effect on the moveset as a whole.  Still, you’ll want to have efficient (but not too much) detail in every part of your set, as it usually carries over to the important parts.  Keep this in mind for future works.

Now, just looking at the Basic Combo, it seems almost the same as Bowser’s.  That said, I don’t really see any mention of priority or startup lag in there.  These two move properties are pretty important details nowadays, so I might work on incorportating those in later.  Dash Attack is interesting, as it isn’t an attack unless Daroach lands on the foe.  It says the foe is released as he hops off, though…is there any knockback, or is the foe open to hit Daroach back?  Little things like this can really be interesting to read about.  You don’t even need to worry about over-detailing, because you seem to do fairly well making cool moves without dragging on.  Still, these attacks are, well, basic, so we’ll have to see how you keep this up for the rest of the set.

Now, onto the Tilts.  F-Tilt is nice, but the run-on sentence talking about the note types grates on you slightly.  I had problems like this earlier, so I know how to pick them out more easily.  Try to avoid these in the future.  Anyways, it’s a nice Tilt, but the random notes make it seem rather awkward to use.  Certain notes could come out under certain musical situations, maybe?  I like it, but many users dislike randomness, so beware of that.  U-Tilt and D-Tilt need description of lag; they’re great Tilts otherwise, but lag is one of the most important properties of a move to include.  Make sure you do include lag description in the future.

F-Smash consistently freezing the foe is cool, as Brawl needs more moves that do this.  Still, it seems weird for it to do so much damage, while Daroach only has a 4/1o in power.  Power accounts for damage and knockback, you know.  Also, I see no priority mention here.  I’m noticing that you have really cool move ideas, but you seem to alternate between neglecting lag or priority here and there.  When proof-reading movesets, the five main move properties you should try to have are: damage, knockback, lag (starting and ending, if possible), priority, and range.  D-Smash has a few issues; it has no lag or priority mention, although it’s nice to see the attack’s range.  The move is awesome for Daroach, but 54%?  I don’t think you’re averaging damage and knockback when you give Daroach a 4/10 in power.  I’d maybe buff that up to 6/10, and say that he deals good damage, but can’t KO for the life of him.  U-Smash needs a priority mention as well; you really do have amazing moves in there, but some of them I just have trouble picturing because these properties aren’t included.  Also, great knockback and damage for U-Smash?  I know it’s a Smash, and you have to be hit while charging to pull it off, but that’s contradicting the 4/10 stat.  The attack isn’t broken or anything, but I think you’re underrating Daroach’s power.  I’d revise these stats, or change the moves, to make this less confusing.

Time for aerials.  N-Air actually covers the details you left out earlier.  That’s a good example of what you should aim to have for later movesets.  F-Air needs mention of lag, and the range of the beam, despite being a sweet aerial.  U-Air sounds like a take off of Peach’s Up Special; overall, Daroach seems like a stronger, magic-using Peach, which is quite interesting.  I’ll have to read his playstyle to see if this is true.  For D-Air…do you actually mean 5/3 Ganondorf’s height, or 3/5?  I’m guessing this is just a typo on your part, but if you meant that, that’s kind of hard to guess at for readers, so I’d simplify that out.  The D-Air and B-Air are amazingly tight, but lacks mention of priority.  I know this is sounding repetitive, but to truly picture the move, I’d like to know whether I could F-Air the cards to defend against it, or would I have to DI out because of high priority.  Or perhaps, would all electric wand hits land on me?  Just slightly vague, but still quite nice.

Mouse Grapple…meh, sounds good.  The throws and pummel are all rather simple and not as unique as most of Daroach’s other moves, but they’re also much easier to picture.  The fact that he can follow up some throws with an attack or short-hopped aerial is nice, as well.  Finally…Specials.  Bomb is a nice semi-projectile, and is surprisingly different from the other bomb/grenade attacks.  The only thing I’d like to see added in is if a character like DK could use Hand Slap to detonate the bomb early or something.  It seems possible, but there’s no mention in there.  Side Special is a really cool projectile, actually.  It sounds a bit broken, until you realize that it can’t be spammed.  Up Special is a new take on the generic teleport recovery, and I like the follow-up recovery techniques that can stem from it.  Super Treasure Chest…wow.  It’s a cool move, but it just seems a little weird to call out items like that.  It seems like it would be highly spammed, so I’d put some kind of limit on how it can be used.  It’s awesome, nonetheless.  Dark Nebula Form is a really nice Final Smash…until the end.  He automatically explodes and damages everyone moderately close to him?!  I’d definitely take that out; it’s completely unnecessary, and kind of messes up the Final Smash.  I’m assuming Daroach can still be attacked during the Final Smash, so there’s no need to cripple him even more.  Oh, and situationals?  Cool, but…they’re situationals.  No comment.  Overall, you’re really good with original and cool moves, but you lack detail in places that just hinders how well I can picture the moves in action.  This is pretty much all that’s holding you back from excellency.

Detail: Alright, moving right on.  In my opinion, there are two important factors of detail that need to be taken into consideration for movesets.  The first is not over-detailing your movesets.  You do a great job at not dragging on with move descriptions.  Even I have trouble with this sometimes, so seeing a newcomer master this already is quite nice.  The second part is not under-detailing.  You don’t really under-detail moves, you just leave out important move properties on occasion that make it harder to picture the move as it would play out in Smash.  I’ll say it again; the important move properties are: damage, knockback, priority, range, and lag (starting and ending).  You’re already a decent move-writer.  You’d be even better if you learn to incorporate these main five properties into your moves consistently.  Overall, Daroach is OK in this respect, but he could use some additions here and there.

Balance: Now, let’s go through Daroach’s playstyle.  Alright, so he’s balanced, with a mix of KO and combo moves.  That’s all good, but then why is his power a 4/10?  I think you’re underestimating his power; I might bump it up a level to make it more accurate.  Daroach’s versatility seems to put him up there with Meta Knight, Snake, Diddy, and the like for playing aggresive and putting the pressure on opponents.  I don’t see any blatant flaws with balance here, as his need for spacing doesn’t exactly make him the easiest character to attack with.  He does seem to have a lot of easy combos, but I don’t think they’re really that effecient when he’s all floaty and light.  Anyways, the playstyle isn’t the most original out there, but at least it’s consistent.

Fitting to Character: Over MYM, I’ve come to grasp Daroach’s character rather well, I think.  Reading the new background section you gave him, Daroach’s attacks all fit his sneaky, magical style quite nicely.  There’s not really much more to say about this.  Giving a character moves that fit them is quite easy, as long as you know the character and are willing to put in the effort to make their moves special for them.  You do a great job at this, which really makes the moveset all the more enjoyable to read.

Extras: The animations are all fitting, but not really…special or anything.  That said, they’re not bad, and they are just animations, so I’ll let this slide.  The victory pose is cool, but you know, characters have three different victory poses…Because they’re just extras, I’m not going to pressure you to add them, but they can be fun to make, and it helps Daroach fit more into Smash if you have them.  Defeat pose…fine with me, but I’m getting just a little tired of characters not clapping in MYM.  Seriously, they can still be unique and clap.  Alternate Costumes are win; I like how they correspond to certain eras of magicians, kind of.  Codec is funny, and keeps Snake in character…somewhat.  Nowadays, I rarely see extras past Kirby Hats and Codecs, like Stages and Assist Trophies.  I’m not saying this is bad for Daroach or anything, but it’s always nice to see these.  I wish more MYMers would do this.  Anyways, nice little extras set there.

Organization: I really like this style of organization that seems to be the main MYM one now (I think K.Rool started it with the Headless Horseman in MYM3).  I had to get used to reading the move name before the move input; it’s fine if you want to do that, but most people are used to reading it the other way around.  The colors are all quite fitting for Daroach, which makes movesets much easier to read.  Finally, bolding the important details makes the moveset flow much better than it would otherwise.  I’ll have to add this detail for my set-in-progress.  Overall, really good job here, especially when most newcomers don’t even know what BBCode is.

Closing Comments: Daroach is a really cool take on a magic-using character.  All the tricks he could play, while still being a balanced character, really make him appealing to read, in my opinion.  This is a huge step up from “boring and generic” Magmortar, no question.  If you work to add the details I mentioned earlier to your later sets, while still maintaining this creative style from Daroach, I really would expect great things from you in the future.  I hope you keep up the good work!

My work here…is done.

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Responses

  1. Thanks for reviewing my moveset. I wanted to mention a few things that I thought I had said, (but apparently didn’t, or not clearly enough). First of all, the Super Treasure Chest would drop and fade into the background if opened, and disappear in six seconds. There could only be one on the field at a time, so this was my way of softly imposing a usage limit. That wasn’t as clear as I thought.

    I’ll make sure to express priority and lag more thoroughly, and update Daroach to include all of that information. I’ll also knock his power rating up.


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