Posted by: Junahu | May 25, 2010

Movesets of the Past [#4]

We may be at a dead stall in terms of movesets, and all the leaders bar MW and MT suck, but MYM8 is still going strong, with every single moveset getting plenty of commentry. So I kind of feel remorseful at how little we commented movesets in earlier MYM’s. Maybe it was because we were still learning ourselves. Or perhaps we were just more competitive than communal in the past. Either way, the annals of MYM are a rich tapestry just bursting with hidden gems and forgotten abominations. I hope these short, weekly articles will inspire others to look back and see older sets in a new light

This week is filler. Sorry, but at least it’s something.. right? Besides, this article has been lounging in the drafts section for nearly two months. I have to publish it sometime. I’ll make something nice for next week…

This week I’ll be jabbering on about the king of all carp. Yes, the Magikarp.



I assume everyone is already in the know, but in case you aren’t- Magikarp is one of those multifaceted Pokemon that MYM loves to make movesets out of so frequently. In particular, Magikarp is the one Pokemon that is famous for being entirely useless and being the first to know that genuinely pointless move; ‘Splash’. Of course, Magikarp later evolves into Gyrados, which is a terrifyingly powerful (and therefore boring) Pokemon, but for its short time as a Magikarp, MYMers absolutely adore it.

They love Magikarp so much, in fact, that almost every MYM contest has at least one Magikarp moveset, if not two, or three. Most of them are played directly for laughs (every move is Splash! Lol!), but there are actually a few genuine Magikarp movesets out there.

This terrible and pointless article is in honour of the regal fish Pokemon we all know and love- Magikarp.

Magikarp is a terrible Pokemon, and it deserves a terrible Moveset

Magikarp is one of the sweetest, easiest pots for making an in-character moveset MYM has. The entire theme for Magikarp is weakness, and carrying that across to moveset form is as simple as creating a half-arsed, terrible moveset. Pictures filled with white background, tiny headers, single sentence attack descriptions, repetition and contradiction. Magikarp sets need to be bad in every measureable way, that’s the whole point to their existance.

Making a Magikarp moveset well is a challenge in making a set purposely to fail. Magikarp movesets can’t be clever, they can’t be well written, and they can’t be likeable. They have to suck, and that is what makes the idea of creating a moveset for Magikarp so iressistable.

Magikarp is a subversively funny concept by right

At the genuine risk of repeating the same point five or six times; Magikarp is a useless, hilarious Pokemon. It flies in the face of conventional character design by purposely being worthless. And bringing such a weak, immobile character into a platfoming beat-em-up like Smash seems like a horribly unworkable idea, and it is, which leads right back to the fact that it’s funny. Get it?

Implementing such a simple character, in a deliberate, legitimate way.. that’s the difficult part. Sources of knockback and damage and attack interaction are irrelevant compared to simply getting Magikarp to limp weakly around the stage in a way that might actually work in a game.

It only has one attack, which does nothing

Leading on from my previous point; it is the ultimate expression of a moveset maker, to take a character that cannot even attack, and make a legitimate moveset out of it. Doing so successfully, is a tongue-in-cheek at MYM’s current trend that champions characters who fight and have super powers, over the John Everyman who has 2 kids and goes shopping at TESCO every Saturday. That subversion is, perhaps, the only thing Magikarp can ever really achieve for itself, a Pokemon so pathetic, that everyone thinks it’s awesome.

And that’s the end of the another one of Junahu’s self gratifying articles. I hope you endured that with at least 1HP left, so you can use Flail to sweep your opponent.

P.S Goldeen has been hogging the goddamn spotlight for far too long. Yeah, sure, Goldeen got one scene in the cartoon series where she flapped around comically on the ground. Whoopee doo. You guys KNOW Magikarp would be a funnier Pokemon in Brawl. You play that Magikarp mini-game in Pokemon Stadium? Freakin’ hilarious. Seriously, it’s way better than anything that crappy Goldeen ever did. You ever wonder why Misty never uses her Goldeen? It’s ’cause it sucks, and she knows Magikarp would be much much cooler. I mean, Christ, Magikarp has a freakin’ crown for a dorsal fin. A CROWN! It’s the king of all aquatic life, for reals! And what does Goldeen have? Some stupid Narwhal horn? Pah! You’re a goldfish, you don’t need a horn for anything. Just eat your fish flakes and get in the corner. Come back once you’ve evolved into something that doesn’t fail so hard…



  1. It’s very clever, of course, but for Magikarp to have actually gotten votes would have flown in the face of the character itself.

    Magikarp’s place in our history should be a successful failure – as you say, he succeeded by being too pathetic to notice.

  2. TESCO?

  3. “and all the leaders bar MW and MT suck”

    I’m MW and MT 😀


  5. “Tesco is a British international grocery and general merchandising retail chain. It is the largest British retailer by both global sales and domestic market share, with profits exceeding £3 billion, and the third largest global retailer based on revenue, after Wal-Mart and Carrefour and second largest in profit behind Wal-Mart.”


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