Posted by: masterwarlord | July 5, 2010

MYM Survivor 2 — Day 1

The story mode opens in a stereotypical throne room with lots of lava and spikes, among other staples of the evil castle. The only thing strange about the throne room is that it lacks a throne, there simply being an elevated gold platform at the end of the room. This is due to who the throne room belongs to – none other than Valozarg – no mere throne can sustain his mighty buttocks. He’s laying down on top of the platform lazily, half asleep. Upon hearing the doors starting to open, Valozarg hastily straightens up and gets up onto his feet. Into the throne room come Mewtwo, Dark Bowser, and Meta Knight.

Valozarg’s attention immediately falls upon Meta Knight as we got a close up of his face then of Meta Knight, causing him to burst out in laughter. “Is that your newest attempt at getting us a recruit? Really?”.

Mewtwo talks without so much as moving a muscle through telepathy. “We are aware of how pathetic he looks. His potential is far-“.

Meta Knight hastily interrupts. “I can speak for myself, thank you. . .I’ve never been big on bragging contests, so I’ll just show you my potential here and now. Behold!”.

Meta Knight performs his Down Special, becoming invisible. Valozarg raises an eyebrow before Meta Knight reappears on top of Valozarg’s head a couple seconds later. “Fine, fine. You are more skilled then I-“.

Meta Knight interrupts once more. “I was only getting started. . .”. Meta Knight leaps off Valozarg’s head and into the center of the room, where he then proceeds to spin around rapidly and generate a massive tornado around himself. The lava in the room all gets sucked into the tornado and spit out in all different directions. After Meta Knight comes out of the tornado Mewtwo and Dark Bowser are rather annoyed by this as they wipe the lava off themselves, by Valozarg smiles a wicked grin at the “lava” splattered over himself – it seems the “Lava” was simply demonblood.

“Good, good! I am sure you shall be an excellent addition to our forces.”.

“Are you quite certain? I have many more skills I’d be happy to demonstrate if necessary. . .”.

“That’s quite alright. Envy shall be here soon with the entertainment anyway.”. Valozarg turns to Mewtwo. “You probed his mind to see what his intentions were, of course?”.

Mewtwo nods. “Yes, yes. He’s perfectly fine with universal domination once this is all over. He just wants there to be worlds to rule afterwards. . .”.

Meta Knight nods in agreement. “Of course!”.

Dark Bowser speaks on Meta Knight’s behalf. “The masked one assisted us in battle against a sizable force of Dreadlords. I believe he can be trusted.”.

Meta Knight lets out a smug “heh” before speaking. “Why do you care what people like me do once we have defeated the Burning Legion? Even if I was good, you could just dispose of me afterwards. Clearly a mighty Pit Lord on your level isn’t afraid. . .?”.

Valozarg chuckles. “Of course not. I’ll take any powerful warrior – I simply corrupt those whom cannot be trusted.”.

“Strange. . .I’d think I’d be seeing more corrupted slaves around the castle then.”.

Dark Bowser enters the conversation. “You’d see some foolish heroes who wanted to oppose us corrupted. . .If there were any of them still alive. As the Burning Legion invades all of the worlds and destroys them one by one, the heroes pathetically try to resist them on their own and fall like all the others before them. Those with darkness in their hearts or whom simply have the sense to survive live on by joining their ranks. . .”.

Meta Knight ponders this. “So how are you any different from the heroes? You’re ultimately resisting them all the same.”.

Dark Bowser growls lowly. “Do not even THINK of comparing us to those pathetic mortals! We are superior! We are-“.

Valozarg interrupts. “What he’s –trying- to say is that we are not foolishly rushing in unprepared. We are not revealing ourselves, and we are constantly preparing. . .”.

Meta Knight again shows doubt. “I doubt your power is ascending nearly as quickly as the Legion’s, what with their constant stream of new recruits coming in the turtle just spoke of. . .”.

“Of course that’s only part of it. . .It’s not like we’re doing nothing. We still strike at their weak points when they come up, mainly to prevent them from summoning their leaders into the worlds.”

“And how do you manage to stay hidden from the legion’s all seeing eye if you go out to attack yourselves? Surely you’re not always successful?”.

“We’re not overly ambitious with what we attempt to do – most of our attacks that we go out on we know we’re more then capable of leaving no witnesses. Of course, there are times when we have to go out on more dangerous missions. . .But that’s what new recruits are for. We corrupt them, then send them out on suicide missions so they won’t flee back to us and reveal our location.”.

Valozarg chuckles, making Meta Knight look a bit iffy even with his mask on. Mewtwo rolls his eyes. “Relax. He’s not talking about new “recruits” like you. We have a shapeshifter who goes out into enemy territory and poses as one of them. He leads a good portion of their warriors on an “attack”, where we capture them and force them to join us.”.

Dark Bowser grumbles. “He’d better show up with them soon – taking so goddamn long. . .”.

Meta Knight shrugs. “What’s the rush?”.

Mewtwo answers the question. “Envy, the shapeshifter, managed to get us some intelligence that the demons were going to invade the Mushroom Kingdom in 6 days. We need to test them before then and get them to set up a trap for the legion there before they arrive. . .”.


A Dreadlord is seen leading a large group of villains (For the most part. . .) through the charred lands of Outland. They are. . .

Fang the Sniper by Hyper_Ridley (MYM 4)
Dr. Robotnik by dancingfrogman (MYM 4)
Black Doom by Hyper_Ridley (MYM 4)
Alphonse by MasterWarlord (MYM 5)
Richard by SirKibble (MYM 5)
Sakurai by TheSundanceKid (MYM 5)
Edward Elric by Hyper_Ridley (MYM 6)
Doppelori by Junahu (MYM 7)
Rocket Grunt by KingK.Rool (MYM 7)
Kamek by KingK.Rool (MYM 7)
Badman by Junahu (MYM 7)
Axel Gear by Hyper_Ridley (MYM 8)
Jack Spicer by flyinfilipino (MYM 8)
Jason Voorhees (MYM 8)
Mr. L by SmashDaddy (MYM 8+)
Belome by MarthTrinity (MYM 8+)
Fawful by MasterWarlord and Hyper_Ridley (MYM 8+)

Sakurai is significantly further beyond the group due to constantly tripping over his own feet, though he doesn’t seem to mind the long journey. Instead, Jack Spicer is the one to groan. . .”Are we there yet?” he asks in a childish fashion.

Fang angrily turns around to look at Spicer. “For the last goddamn time, no, we’re not there yet. . .”.

Axel Gear shakes his head at Fang. “Why are you still even responding to him. . .?”.

Fang just shrugs. “I dunno. I was hoping he’d get the message by now, but I seem to of given him too much credit.”.

Jack looks annoyed. “You do know I’m right here. . .?”.

Axel snorts. “And your point is. . .?”.

Robotnik looks down at the dispute from his comfortable egg-pod floating above them. He motions to Jack’s trio of Jackbots following him around. “If you detest walking around as much as you do, you could always have turned your spare parts into something practical. Say, I don’t know, a means of transportation?”.

Jack folds his arms. “How was I supposed to know I’d have to go out on an attack today? I. . .Uh. . .Have a gigantic doomsday machine. . .Thingy! I just left it back at my place. . .”. Jack looks about warily. . .

“So. . .You’re capable of building a gigantic doomsday machine “thingy”, but all you’re capable of building to take around with you for defense are a couple primitive bodyguard robots? Somehow I’m not convinced. . .”.

“Hey, hey! I’ve got other stuff that I keep on me! Like. . .Uhhhhhh. . .”. Jack rummages his pockets hastily to try to find anything remotely useful until he finds his Monkey Staff. “Like this!”.

“Oh, what a technological marvel you’ve got there! I take it you’re a master of Kung Fu and whatever else is popular with you kids nowadays, yes?”.

“It’s not just a staff! See? Look at what it can do! …Please do something cool…”. Jack activates the staff and goes into his monkey form, managing to get the attention of Fang and Axel in the process.

Axel bursts into laughter. “Oh no, you pissed off the nerd! What’s he gonna do, throw his shit at us?”.

Jack hastily turns back to normal and puts the staff away. “Well, yeah, I was just. . .Giving you an example by using it myself! Really! How you’re supposed to use it iiiiiiissss. . .you throw it at the enemy and THEY get turned into a monkey!”.

Robotnik seems rather displeased at this as his face rests in his palm. Jack tries to come up with something else until eventually getting an idea, pointing off into the distance at Doppelori and Alphonse. “You see those robots? Those are mine too! You really think a genius like me would go out and about with just these three crappy ones?”.

Robotnik looks over Doppelori and Alphonse briefly. “Even if I wanted to try to believe you, those two robots being made by the same person is laughable. The smaller one is so technologically superior it’s not even funny.”.

“Well, uhhhh. . .The small one came a lot later after I gained more skill at robotics.”.

Axel chuckles again. “Well then, why don’t you go over and demonstrate? If they’re your robots, surely they should follow your every command!”.

Jack’s confident smirk quickly fades into a look of horror before he not so subtly regains his composure. “. . .Fine, I’ll show you!”. Jack hesitantly goes over to Doppelori as the others follow him.

Axel nudges Fang slightly. “Heh heh, this should be good. . .”.

Jack comes up in front of Doppelori and looks as if thinking for a good few seconds before Doppelori turns to him. “What is it?!?”.

“Uhhhh. . .Nothing, nothing! Just ignore me and do exactly what you were doing!”. Jack retreats hastily before turning back to Axel/Fang/Robotnik while Doppelori just grumbles. “Idiot. . .”.

Jack pretends to be eager. “See? It did exactly what I told it to do!”.

Axel applauds mockingly. “Good, good! Now then, let’s move on to the next step. . .Have it praise you about how awesome you are.”.

Jack gulps and goes back to Doppelori again, who turns to him in annoyance. “What now?!?”.

“Uhhhh, how awesome do you think I am?”.

Doppelori pauses. “I think you’re the most pathetic, weak, and outright idiotic of a coward who’s lower then the dirt he walks on I’ve ever seen.”. She smirks. “Does that answer your question?”.

“Uhhhh, yeah. . .”. Jack goes back to the others and looks up at Robotnik. “You saw how highly technological that one was. . .Because it’s so powerful, there were a lot of bugs in it I haven’t ironed out.”.

Fang pats Jack on the back. “There there, kid! It did exactly what you told it to do! I couldn’t of put “how awesome you were” better myself!”.

Axel bursts into laughter again. “Good one Fang!”.

Robotnik is struggling to hold back his own laughter. “Well, my boy, surely the other robot will be completely loyal to you seeing it’s such a simple model?”.

“Well, uhhhh, I never really went back to fix that one up seeing it was so crappy anyway. . .I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested”.

“Nonsense! I have complete faith in you!”.

Fang nods in agreement. “Yeah, yeah, we wanna see!”.

Jack hesitantly approaches Alphonse. “Oh, uhhh. . .Hey. Those guys over there think you’re a stupid out of date model. You’re not gonna stand for that, are ya? Beat the siht out of ‘em!”.

Al looks back at Axel, Fang, and Robotnik for Fang to just shake his head. “He’s –trying- to convince us that you’re a robot he built.”.

Al looks back at Jack. “That’s just an excuse he pulled out his ass! They just don’t want you to go beat them up!”.

Ed comes over to Al before he can decide who to believe. “Let’s just teach –all- of these jerks a lesson. . .They look like the types that’d want to be here willingly.”.

Alphonse sighs. “I was planning on just ignoring them. . .It wouldn’t be good if the Dreadlord saw us fighting. . .”.

Axel smirks. “Yeah, you’re right. The two of you would be beat up so bad you wouldn’t be recognizable! The Dreadlord would realize what weaklings you both were and decide to leave you behind.”

Ed is visibly pissed and transmutes his arm into a blade and goes to swing at him, but is held back by Al. “Don’t take the bait, brother. . .You’re doing exactly what he wants you to.”.

“So? That’s the point. This dickwad is asking for it.”.

Alphonse just sighs. “Don’t make me go get the Dreadlord. . .”.

Axel imitates Ed. “Oh no! Please don’t tell me on daddy! I’ll do anything!”.

Ed just tries to get out of Al’s grip all the more furiously, letting Axel and Fang have a good laugh. Eventually Ed starts to tire himself out slightly and cool down, and Al hastily takes the chance to change the topic, motioning off to Sakurai falling farther and farther behind the group due to his constant tripping. “Shouldn’t we go help him. . .? He’ll get left behind. . .”.

Robotnik scoffs at Alphonse. “Leave him! If he is incapable of such a simple task, then he’s not worth bringing along.”.

The Dreadlord turns his head around to look back at the group. “Enough of your useless prattle. I don’t want to hear so much as another word out of any of you. . .”.

Jason moans loudly for no particular reason, causing the Dreadlord to smack him across the face. “Let that serve as an example to the rest of you.”.


Level 1
Play as: Fang, Dr. Robotnik, Black Doom, Alphonse, Richard, Sakurai, Ed, Doppelori, Rocket Grunt, Kamek, Badman, Mr. L, Belome, Fawful, Axel Gear, Jack Spicer
Stock: 16

The actual level itself isn’t that easy, being of average difficulty in comparison to later ones. What allows this level to ease you into the game is the ridiculously large stock count you’re given to enable you to use all of the characters.

That said, the level is mostly combat due to the setting being a barren wasteland, providing little opportunity for platforming/puzzles. Chaos Orcs, Draenei, Voidwalkers, Fel Hounds, and other various beasts from Outland in Warcraft 3 are among the enemies.


The Dreadlord suddenly slows down his pace and walks forward much more casually. “We’ve reached our destination. This is the spot we’re going to attack. . .”.

Most of the group looks rather puzzled at this, Kamek being the one who voices everyone’s thoughts. “THIS is what you dragged us out all this way for? There’s nothing here! Do the ambitious goals of the almighty Burning Legion include obliterating dust bunnies? I’d think we’d be doing something just a tad higher priority. . .”.

Badman nods. “Agreed. It seems that this Dreadlord has simply lost what few brain cells he still possesses to of brought us out here – hardly qualified to be a villain. He could make a fine psycho, perhaps, though that more falls under the category of anti-hero all the same. I propose we elect a new leader until we get back to hell to receive our next orders.”.

Black Doom spits at the idea of democracy. “I am by far more powerful then anyone here could ever hope to be – kneel before your new leader, mortals!”.

Fawful makes his bid for power. “No, you are to be forgetting what the one with three eyes is saying! I am being a foureyes, I am having more eyes then him! It is who is more important! You shall be electing Fawful with most hastiness!”.

Axel shakes his head. “Push all the talk aside – I don’t care how big any of your dicks are, I care about how well you can fight. We’ll have a brawl to decide the new leader.”.

Richard claps his hands together in a joyous pose. “Oh wonderful, I can see it now! Blood and guts flying everywhere in a beautiful clash! Such well crafted art is music to my ears!”.

The Dreadlord chuckles. “I’m impressed at how easy it is to turn the lot of you against each other. . .But save it. You’ll have your opportunity to get your hands dirty momentarily. . .As if it wasn’t obvious enough, this place is more then what it seems. Follow my lead. . .”. The Dreadlord continues going forward a-ways as the group follows him before seemingly disappearing into nothing as he continues forward.

Doppelori keeps going as if nothing happened, but Jack holds her back, whimpering. “Wait! Didn’t you see what happened to that guy?!? He just. . .Got eaten by air!”.

Doppelori shrugs Jack’s hand off her shoulder. “Well then, if you’d like to be such a gentleman, why don’t you go through first?”.

Jack hastily gets behind Doppelori and motions for her to go in. “No, no, the gentlemanly thing is to let ladies go first! After you, after you!”.

Belome pushes Doppelori and Jack aside and starts licking up air with his oversized tongue. “Air devoured him, hmm? Look at what I am doing now! Right before your eyes, I am devouring air! No air can possibly devour me!”.

Belome goes to go through, but Kamek holds him back. “I think the boy may have a legitimate point in not wanting to go through. . .Let’s just send something useless through as a test.”. Kamek turns to Jack. “Boy, send one of your robots to where the Dreadlord vanished.”.

Jack hesitates. “Hey, hey! These are stronger than they look! You wanna leave me totally defenseless?”.

Fang chuckles. “Well, if those robots are the only reason you’re here, we could always send –you- through and just use the robots ourselves. . .”.

“They only listen to me though! You wouldn’t be able to use them!”.

“Because those other robots responded so well to your commands, am I right?”.

Robotnik adds in his two cents. “I agree that the boy would be a good guinea pig – if his robots indeed won’t obey our orders, I can just reprogram them in 5 minutes anyway. I severely doubt they’re difficult to hack. . .”.

Jack comes up to Kamek on his knees, groveling. “Please don’t send me through! Please please please! Isn’t there anyone else?”.

Kamek sighs, then hesitantly looks over everybody in the group. The camera shows his vision as he casually glazes over Sakurai tripping en mass in the background as he tries to catch up, but then quickly goes back to him, focusing on him. “It looks like that buffoon will prove to be of some use to him after all. Somebody go fetch him.”.

After looking around at nobody else wanting to do it, the Grunt sends out his Houndour and motions off to Sakurai. “Fetch.”. Houndour nods and obeys his master as he goes off to Sakurai.

Jack hastily points towards the Grunt. “Look at him! He just has guys fight for him too! He’s not any better then I am!”.

The Grunt turns back to Jack. “Except for this one part where nobody minds having me around, kid. Whenever you open your mouth, you just make somebody wanna smack ya.”.

Robotnik agrees. “You really do need to learn when to shut up – most demons aren’t so nice. . .And besides, his minions that he commands are not robots that I can simply reprogram. We need him.”.

Houndour comes back pulling Sakurai by the pants leg, who is crying out in pain. “The hound fights with his razor-sharp claws in a style that’s downright feral! I cannot recover!”.

The group stare blankly at Sakurai. Badman breaks the silence. “You made the right decision choosing him as the sacrifice. . .”.

Jason moans loudly for no particular reason.

“Though then again, we –do- have other options. . .”.

Black Doom throws Sakurai into the portal before any further discussion can be made. “That old man was entirely useless. This mindless goon can be used as an expendable unit on the battlefield. . .”.

A brief pause occurs before the Dreadlord comes back out of the thin air. “Sorry for keeping you so long, I just –do- enjoy seeing you all constantly flail about in your own stupidity. This place is an invisible fortress, but only from the outside. The rebels thought they could hide from us, but only for so long. . .Yes, it’s perfectly safe, you lot of cowards. . .”.

The Dreadlord goes back from where he came, causing the group to all follow after him as well as the camera. Inside we see that the place is indeed a massive fortress. As everyone is getting used to this, the Dreadlord hastily claps his hands together. “Chop chop! We’re here to find Valozarg, the Pit Lord whom was too slothful to continue to work for us. We shall enslave him and force him to continue corrupting everyone who dares resist the glorious reign of the Burning Legion. He’s only among the largest of Pit Lords, who are among the largest of demons – he shouldn’t be hard to find.”.


Level 2
Play as: Fang, Dr. Robotnik, Black Doom, Alphonse, Richard, Sakurai, Ed, Doppelori, Rocket Grunt, Kamek, Badman, Mr. L, Belome, Fawful, Axel Gear, Jack Spicer
Stock: 16

Another fairly easy level in the same vein as the last one due to the stock counter. This one is the opposite of the last in that enemies here are very scarce, though they still exist. Various undeads are the enemies, again mostly from Warcraft 3. Ghouls, Crypt Fiends, Abominations, Necromancers, what have you.

Of course, in compensation for the enemies there’s lots of platforming and traps. Rather then the signature lava pits of death you’d expect, though, the liquid is actually demonblood – falling into it is worse then an instant kill. When you resume your next stock, the character who fell into it will be shot back out of the demonblood with 20% and high set knockback fighting against you. However; if you kill them again you can add them back to your stock counter by “uncorrupting” them. Simply leaving the screen the corrupted character is on won’t uncorrupt them.


The group barges through a massive door. As soon as they charge in, they are greeted by Dark Bowser who instantly points forward, causing a gigantic shadowy cage to materialize around the group. In the corner is Sloth, who grabs a hold of a shadowy chain that appears there and starts pulling on it to hoist the cage up into the air, laughing as he does it.

Most if not all of the characters in the cage instantly start trying to blast their way out of it or make a portal out, what have you, but to no avail. . .Of course, they do accidentally hit each other considerably due to the small space within the cage, Jack Spicer more often then not being the victim. Richard takes advantage of the chaos and just specifically attacks everyone while he can get away with it. Black Doom notices this and smacks Richard specifically, causing him to sigh and stop his fun.

The Dreadlord comes into the room, shapeshifting into his regular form – He’s Envy, who sighs and shakes his head at Dark Bowser. “I dunno about this group. They’re pretty damn stupid.”.

“Which is precisely why we shall test them and weed out the weak links, just as we have all the others.”.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve been around here just as long as you. I just think we may be wasting our time with these guys – might be best if we just went now and took advantage of time we have while we still have it to set the trap in the Mushroom Kingdom.”.

“This is the way we’ve always done it. It’s not so much about actually needing their strengths as it is we can’t let ourselves be found out. You know this.”.

“Yeah yeah. Fine. Can’t change the minds of you lot. . .And more importantly, the testing always proves –most- entertaining. . .”.

Mr. L manages to make his way out of the clusterfuck of characters trying to get out of the cage and looks down at Envy. “So you were a spy! Have you no sense of class manipulating us like that? Let me out of here this instant and we shall have a gentleman’s brawl!”.

Envy rolls his eyes. “Relax. You’ll get your chance to prove yourself soon enough. . .”.

Jack is getting pushed up against the bars of the cage forcefully by the clusterfuck of characters trying to get out. “Can you PLEASE get us a second cage?”.

Dark Bowser grumbles as he summons another cage, then looks off at Sloth who hastily hoists the dark chains to move the cage to be side by side with the one with all the characters in it. Dark Bowser curls up into a spiked ball and leaps on top of the empty cage, then climbs down to the side of it and empties it by bending the bards of the cage. He proceeds to bend the bars open of the side of the cage facing the cage with everyone in it, then bends open the bars of that cage to connect them. Dark Bowser starts pointing at various characters to come over, but simply gets run over by them en mass as they go towards the escape. Enraged, Dark Bowser breathes a massive cone of flame at them to daze them and even knock a good chunk of them out. He proceeds to grab eight characters and throw them into the second cage, then bends all the bars of the cage shut as he goes back onto the ground. He gives a casual motion to Sloth again for him to hoist the shadowy chain, causing the second cage to be hoisted off to the other side of the very large room.

Envy folds his arms. “Why’d you comply with his request? Now we can’t just have Sloth watch all of them at once for us. . .”.

Dark Bowser continues off into another room, not turning back to Envy. “Don’t worry. We’ve got a new guy – we can just force him to do whatever we don’t want to.”.

Envy sighs and looks up at the characters in the cages. . .”Did you really have to use the fire breath? It’ll be a while before most of them are up after that.”.

“That already will help us in weeding out those who will just burden us in our mission.”.

“. . .And that’s just an excuse.”.

“So it is. If you so very worried about wasting time, stop trying to change the past and move on. We’ll come back in a couple hours when they’ll of recovered. . .”.

Envy just shrugs and walks out of the room with Dark Bowser, though turns to Sloth as he leaves. “You can take a rest seeing most of them are anyway – just don’t sleep too soundly. . .”.

Sloth looks as if he’s going to say something as he ponders the situation, but decides to just immediately go to sleep and conserve his energy.

Dark Bowser chuckles. “Not like it matters. It’s impossible for them to escape those cages, and even if they do somehow get out Meta Knight will be on guard.”.


We’re shown the interiors of one of Dark Bowser’s shadow cages. Inside of it are. . .

Axel Gear
Dr. Robotnik
Black Doom
Jack Spicer

Of the characters, only Black Doom and Doppelori are conscious, Doppelori due to being flame resistant while Black Doom seems to of been the only “normal” person capable of toughing it out. Doppelori is still frantically trying to get out of the cage, firing blasts out of her cannon everywhere which more often then not end up further blasting the characters inside the cage, including Black Doom. Strongly annoying him, he comes over to Doppelori and grabs hold of her cannon. “Will you stop mindlessly firing that thing around?!? What makes you think that you can get out of here by yourself when you couldn’t when everyone else was helping you?”.

“I’d hardly call what the rest were doing “help”. They were just getting in my way the whole time and blocking my shots.”.

“Well then, are you quite finished? Or do you wish to continue to waste as ammunition as possible? I couldn’t even make a damn portal out of this cage – mindlessly firing away won’t work. The being who made this cage must have impressive power. . .”.

“If you haven’t noticed, the rest of the idiots in this cage aren’t particularly threatening. It’s not so much as he’s strong as you’re all weak.”.

“Keep in mind that you’re one of us whether or not you’d like to be, robot. You fell for the trap too and are incapable of escaping. Of course, I agree with you on the others being weak – the fact that they could not survive a single attack is completely and utterly pathetic.”.

“If you’re trying to suck up to me, it’s not working – The main part that messed it up was where you inferred you were on even footing with me.”.

Black Doom laughs. “On even footing with you, hmm? I’m very sorry for coming off that way – I meant to come off as being superior to a mere tool made by human han-.”.

Doppelori takes a shot at Black Doom who just barely manages to dodge, interrupting him. “You’ll wish you had a dark overlord such as myself at your side when they come back. You’ll also wish that you hadn’t wasted all your ammo killing your only potentially worthwhile ally and just having to run like a little school girl from our enemies.”.

“You’ll wish you’d refrained from petty insults and that you weren’t, y’know, DEAD.”. Doppelori runs up at Black Doom and fires another shot at his head at point blank. . .


Black Doom Vs. Doppelori
Stock: 1/1

You may pick either character for this fight, and it takes place in an enclosed cage meaning the match is stamina. Both characters’ playstyles are made more awkward in the cage what with there being so little room for Doppelori to approach/repel Black Doom, and Black Doom generally prefers to fight at a range which is awkward with so little space. The fact there’s nowhere for Black Doom to get away means the match will generally end rather quickly, though, making the match-up favorable for Doppelori.


Black Doom teleports behind Doppelori at the last second, causing her to fire up against the bars that were behind Black Doom at point blank, blasting her back to the other side of the cage forcefully. Doppelori gets up and continues to shoot at Black Doom, but he just levitates up Robotnik’s eggpod (Which Robotnik fell out of) and uses it as a shield. After the Egg Pod takes a significant amount of hits, Black Doom flings it forward at Doppelori. Doppelori leaps out of the way and goes to fire another shot at Black Doom, but he levitates her around to face the wall so she gets knocked back again.

As Doppelori is stunned, Black Doom levitates her cannon out of her grasp and chuckles. “It’s not too late to apologize for your actions and submit to me, you know.”.

Doppelori squints at Black Doom. “Go to hell.”.

“If that’s the way you want to play it, then I guess you won’t be getting back your toy until you decide to play nice like a good little girl.”. Black Doom chuckles as Doppelori tries to jump up at the levitating Black Doom to take back her cannon, but her weight prevents her from getting high enough. Black Doom starts mocking her by putting the cannon just barely out of her reach. “I was wrong to put you on a higher level then the rest of these fools. You’re no better then the cowardly boy.”.

Robotnik regains consciousness and gets up slowly, observing the awkward spectacle of Black Doom and Doppelori uncaringly. However; he then turns to see his heavily damaged Eggpod and gasps in horror, running over to it and embracing it. “My Eggpod! My beautiful Eggpod! What happened to you?!? Damn that overgrown turtle. . .”. Robotnik pauses for a moment as he inspects his Eggpod. “Wait a second. . .His fire breath couldn’t of done this. . .”. Robotnik turns to Black Doom and Doppelori. “Which one of you did this?!?”.

Black Doom tells selective parts of the truth. “The robot fired some shots out of her cannon – she was trying to kill me.”.

“Then why are you holding her cannon now, hmm?”.

“I had to wrestle it away from her – she was going berserk, dammit.”.

Doppelori rolls her eyes. “Nevermind that you were cowering behind that thing and using it as a shield. He has the cannon, who are you going to trust?”.

“. . .You do realize by saying that you just confirmed that you were shooting away with the cannon, right? Besides, it’s your cannon. Why would I be using that thing instead of my own superior powers?”.

Robotnik groans. “Just shut up, both of you. . .Doom, give me the cannon. I’ll use it as spare parts to fix my Egg Pod and we’ll call it even all around. . .”.

Black Doom levitates over the cannon to Robotnik, but Doppelori does intercepts it with a leap, grabbing it again. Robotnik hastily goes to cower behind his Eggpod, but Doppelori doesn’t shoot. Black Doom laughs. “I see you’ve learned your lesson. . .”.

“I have nothing to learn from a scumbag like you. I’m just waiting until we get into a more open space. . .”.

“Say what you will. Pretending to be tough just makes it all the more satisfying when you humiliate yourself.”.

Robotnik comes out from behind his Eggpod and puts his hands on his hips. “Well now what am I supposed to repair my Eggpod with, hmm?”.

Black Doom grumbles and looks about the cage before motioning off to Jack’s robots uncaringly. “Use those or something.”.

“Can’t you just wrestle away her cannon again?”.

Doppelori hastily comes up to Robotnik and shoves the business end of it in Robotnik’s face. “What was that?”.

“Errrr. . .Nothing. . .”.

“What was that? I couldn’t quite hear it. . .”.

“You heard me, dammit. I’ll use that boy’s stupid robots to fix my Eggpod.”.

“Good.”. Doppelori backs away from Robotnik as he grumbles to himself, then goes over and starts dismantling Jack’s robots. . .


We’re shown the interior of the other cage. Inside of it are the other 8 characters.

Mr. L
Rocket Grunt

Out of them, only Alphonse, Mr. L, and Richard are conscious at the moment – Alphonse and Richard being resistant to flame from simply being metal/undead while Belome indirectly acted as a meat shield for Mr. L. Mr. L pushes Belome’s charred corpse away and gets up, dusting himself off. “So I hope you lot don’t plan on just wailing away at the cage s’more after what just happened?”.

Richard chuckles. “Oh of course not! Now that everybody’s knocked out, I have much more practical things to do! Observe!”. Richard takes out his almighty fork of truth and beings stabbing the knocked out characters with it at random, laughing maniacally.

Alphonse goes to stop Richard, but Mr. L holds him back. “Eh, just let him have his fun. He’s just stabbing them with a cute little fork – he’s not doing any harm. Trust me, if you don’t let him get it out now, he’ll probably be using a butcher knife on us in our sleep.”.

Richard chuckles. “Indeed! It’s only but a matter of time until you go to sleep, and then I’ll get to cut you open too! Perhaps I could cut some “paper” dolls out of your innards and use them to decorate our new home? I think it’d look absolutely exquisite on this wall. . .”.

“Seems we’ve got a bigger case then we thought on our hands. . .Search him and make sure he hasn’t got something bigger. . .”.

Alphonse hesitates. “Why do I have to do it? You do it!”.

“Aren’t we the brave one, Mr. Giantarmoredmuscleman? Come on, you really think he’ll be getting through your armor with that fork? Show some backbone!”.

Al sighs and turns to Richard. “Uhhh. . .Could you please show me what weapons you’ve got on you?”.

Richard seems to be in a good mood. “I thought you’d never ask!”. Richard takes out an iron sword. “The sword of 77% probability!”. Richard takes out a golden sword. “The sword of maybe, maybe not!”. Richard takes out a balloon sword. “The sword of mostly falsehoods.”. Richard takes out a stick. “The stick of lies!”.

Al looks over the “weapons”. “That was easier then I thought it’d be. . .”.

Mr. L comes up in front of Alphonse. “Would you mind letting me see those swords? See, I’m a collector. I know fine stuff when I see it.”.

Richard goes over to Mr. L happily. “But of course!”. As Mr. L takes the swords from Richard, one of the –actual- swords pops the balloon sword, causing Richard to gasp in horror. Richard angrily prepares a signature “fwoosh” (Fire spell), and Mr. L throws the two swords out of the cage hastily.

Richard unleashes the spell on Mr. L, who promptly dodges with an agile jump. “You’re far too trusting. . .Do you think I’d trust you to not stab me in the back overnight?”.

“I forgot that you humans detest dying. . .It’s hard to remember when I love it so. I have no idea how anyone couldn’t find the sight of mutilated corpses flying in the air isn’t a wonderful one.”.

“Seems you’ve spent too long under a tombstone rotting into the bone heap you are now. You’ve lost all contact with reality. You should’ve stayed buried, your time has come and gone!”.

“Oh, no, I still get plenty of social exposure! That’s not the problem at all. I just generally kill everyone before I can converse with them is all, so I struggle to keep up with the times.”.

“Stop trying to cover everything up with excuses. Let’s see if you can fight half as well as you can talk, eh? Have at you!”. Mr. L strikes a pose.

“I thought you’d never ask! I vastly prefer killing – I assumed you were the one who wanted to engage in this little chit-chat.”.


Mr. L Vs. Richard
Stock: 1/1

You may pick either character for this fight. The space you have to fight in is exceptionally small – due to you being caged in the match is stamina. Mr. L struggles significantly to pull off his laggier specials here due to having nowhere to knock Richard away to/run to in order to get the time he needs to perform them.


Richard prepares another fwoosh blast, but Alphonse gets in the way. “Come on. . .Do we –really- wanna be killing each other? Whatever “tests” those guys wanna put us through probably won’t be just for show. . .”.

Mr. L sighs. “Fine, whatever. But I’m sure as hell not gonna be the one to go without sleep to make sure he doesn’t kill us. You intend to babysit him?”.

I don’t sleep anyway, so. . .If nobody else wants to, yeah. I can do it.”.

“It’s a deal then. Just promise me you won’t turn as insane as he is from lack of sleep, alright?”.

“Uhhh. . .Sure thing. . .If that was gonna happen, it would’ve happened a loooooong time ago. . .“.

Richard taps Alphonse on the shoulder non chalantly to get him to turn around. “Oh, so good of you to notice me! I’d like to file a complaint – he just threw all of my weapons away. You expect me to pass an opportunity like this up?”.

“I’m sure there’ll be plenty for you to kill later. . .”.

“And until then? What do you expect me to do? Watch blood dry on the wall? On second thought, that actually does sound a bit entertaining. . .”. Richard turns to look at a wall and plops down on Belome, using him as a cushion. After rubbing his chin area briefly in thought as he watches, he cackles with glee. “Oooohhh! This is my favorite part! Want to watch?”.

“I’m good. . .”.

Mr. L stares blankly at Richard. “How does this entertain you again. . .?”.

Alphonse sighs. “Would you rather he-“.

Richard interrupts. “Come to think of it, this is a bit boring. I think I’ll go back to spilling blood.”.

Al glares at Mr. L. “Now look what you did!”.

Mr. L rolls his eyes. “Pardon me for trying to use logic. . .”.

Richard begins charging up another fireball, but Al gets in the way. “Uhhh. . .Wait! Isn’t there something you like that –doesn’t- involve killing people?”.

Richard strikes a thinking pose briefly. “Well, I don’t have my lord of the dance title for nothing. . .But I’ll need some music.”. Richard gets up off of Belome and takes out his fork of truth, then begins scraping it against the bars of the cage. “Music to my ears!”.

Richard starts doing a random awkward dance as he continues to scrape his fork on the cage wall, causing Mr. L to cover up his ears. “I preferred it when he was trying to kill us, damn it!”.

“Who says I’m not trying to kill you right now?”.

Alphonse recoils in a twitchy manner. “Just be glad you have ears to cover up. . .”.

This goes on for a few seconds until the camera cuts to the other cage, where Black Doom, Robotnik, and Doppelori are annoyed by the noise as much as Mr. L and Al. The camera cuts to the ground where Sloth is. As the noise begins to get louder and louder, Sloth starts to roll over more in his sleep until eventually waking up and letting out a roar. He does a monstrous leaping rush up at Richard’s cage, grabbing onto the side of it, then tries to grab at Richard from the outside, who hastily cowers away. Mr. L glares at Alphonse. “See? You should’ve just let me take him out!”.

Alphonse recoils from Sloth. “His violence is what got us into this mess in the first place. . . What makes you think more of the same thing is gonna make it better?”.

“Oh, Mr. Giantarmoredmuscleman doesn’t like violence! I’m sure that’s why you spend most of your time in the gym and wear that armor. . .You some kinda bratty kid?”.

Al just stares blankly at the irony of the statement, only mattering to utter out an “uhhhhh. . .” before Richard interrupts him. “I hate to interrupt your riveting conversation, but we can please get back to the matter at hand?”.

Richard motions up to the top of the cage which Sloth is constantly pounding against in rage – Sloth is actually making noticeable dents in the cage. Mr. L just glares at Richard. “This is all your fault and you expect us to just clean up your mess for you?”.

“Well, not really. . .I was mainly expecting something along the lines of you crying like a baby then getting horribly slaughtered by that monstrosity when he breaks in here with lots of blood and guts flying everywhere. Considering I’ve got the best seat in the house, I’m rather looking forward to it, actually!”.

“Damn psychopath. . .I’ll be sure to have the satisfaction of finishi-“.

Al interrupts. “Don’t take the bait. . .We have bigger things to worry about right now, alright? Besides, we might have a chance to escape when he busts the cage open. . .”.

“That’s a good point actually. . .”.

Richard chuckles. “Did you see how fast he was moving to get to this cage? You can’t possibly outrun him.”. Richard turns to Alphonse. “When you’re running, don’t expect that agile thief to wait up for you. He’ll be happy to use you as something to slow down that monster.”.

Al actually looks slightly worried at this, but Mr. L quickly butts in. “This guy’s the one the fat ass wants anyway. He’s the one who disturbed his precious nap time – hopefully the big baby will calm down after that.”.

Al looks all the more worried. “You do know he can hear us, right. . .?”.

“Do I look like I care? He’s just some retarded lump.”.

Sloth lets out another roar. “I’M NOT STUPID!”.

Sloth begins pounding on the cage even more fiercely, causing Al to recoil, but Mr. L is uncaring about the situation. “Aww shucks. Did I make the baby to have a temper tantrum?”.

Sloth lets out another angry grunt as Al glares at Mr. L. “What are you thinking?!?”.

Before Mr. L can replay, Richard clears his throat and looks up at the ever growing dent in the top of the cage. “Mr. giant golem? I just wanted to relay a message for you from my good friend in the metal suit – he says you smell like crap.”.

This causes a highly predictable reaction from Sloth, causing Al to go over and smack Richard. “What did you do that for?!?”.

Richard chuckles. “I thought violence wasn’t the answer? You’re learning, my friend. . .”.

Mr. L gives Alphonse an “I told you so” look. “See how he bought that? He –is- a retarded lump.”.

Sloth roars as per usual while Al groans. “Is this really the time for that?!?”.

We cut to Meta Knight walking down a hall, who is thinking to himself. “I can’t believe I’m just being handed down an obligatory guard post – hopefully this is just temporary. They know my powers. . .Once I earn some more trust my immense talents should hopefully not be wasted on such menial tasks. Either way, though, it’s not like I could be doing much now anyway. . .I suppose a period of rest isn’t the end of the world. . .”. Meta Knight enters the room with the cages in it to see the top of the cage with Richard’s party in it broken, and Al, Mr. L, and Richard all fleeing from Sloth. “Looks like this job will be more amusing then I thought.”. Meta Knight rushes in and slashes at Sloth.


Meta Knight Vs. Sloth Vs. Richard Vs. Alphonse/Mr. L
Stock: Infinite/1/1/1/1

The stage is an exceptionally large walk off, and your goal is to kill Sloth. He plays highly offensively and mainly aims at the other three players, so killing him isn’t nearly as hard as normal and your own well being isn’t that worrisome. The problem is that Al and Mr. L are constantly trying to escape and run off the side blast zone, and if they make it out through the blast zone or die you lose. You thankfully start in front of the blast zone so you’re well positioned to guard it, and your infinite stocks prove useful in guarding it. Richard’s death also means a loss, but he isn’t trying to escape and simply targets whoever he can, playing as aggressively as Sloth.


Meta Knight fends off Sloth as he rapidly approaches with titan rushes, using his Mach Tornado to send him flying away in a different direction. This only further angers Sloth, and Meta Knight isn’t able to put up much of an offensive due to constantly having to block off Richard and Mr. L. When he does get in an occasional stab, it does little to Sloth’s thick skin. . .

Meta Knight talks to Alphonse and Mr. L as he blocks them off. “You do know I could just let him kill you, yes? A better option then letting you escape and expose our location. . .If you want to live, get back in the cages!”.

Al is pretty easily put into line with the death threat, backing away to the cage obediently. Mr. L, though, proceeds to use his acrobatic skills to get around Meta Knight and backflip over Sloth as he charges into him. At the moment Mr. L makes his way to the exit, though, Dark Bowser enters the doorway, causing Mr. L to splat into him. Dark Bowser picks up Mr. L by the throat and holds him up off the ground. . .”So already we have an attempted jailbreak, huh?”. Dark Bowser turns to Meta Knight. “I’d expected more of you.”.

Meta Knight retorts. “Sloth was already chasing them before I’d arrived, and he’d gone berserk for some reason. He was trying to kill them. . .I rather had my hands full.”.

“Is this true?”. Dark Bowser turns to Sloth to find that he’s already sleeping again. . . “What kind of fool do you take me for? He’s over there sleeping like a goddamn baby.”.

Alphonse timidly speaks up. “Well, actually, he was telling the truth. . .”.

“When I want your opinion, I’ll tell you, dammit.”. Dark Bowser looks Mr. L in the eyes. “Now then. . .In a normal situation, I’d make an example of you, but considering most of you lot are –still- too pathetic to of regained consciousness, it’d be a waste. Most of them wouldn’t see it. . .”. Mr. L looks slightly relieved, but Dark Bowser starts squeezing him by the neck much harder. “HOWEVER. . .The VERY next person who even ATTEMPTS to escape shall be that example. Do I make myself clear?!?”. Mr. L barely manages to nods weakly due to being strangled. In response, Dark Bowser throws Mr. L halfway across the room, after which he gasps for air. “Good. . .”.

Dark Bowser notices the giant hole in the cage with Richard’s party and grumbles to himself, then desummons it casually, watching as all the characters in it drop to the ground. “Join your friends.”. Alphonse and Mr. L go over to the other characters, but Richard twiddles his thumbs. “Did I stutter? NOW.”.

Richard continues looking disinterested. “I wouldn’t exactly call that group of life loving merrymen who frolic in flower meadows friends. . .“.

“So we’ve got a wise guy on our hands then? I don’t give a damn about your personal feelings on the matter. Move.”.

Richard shrugs and goes back over with the others as Dark Bowser summons a new cage. Dark Bowser yells out for Sloth to hoist up the cage, but he seems to be in a deep sleep after his rage. Dark Bowser groans in annoyance and hoists it up himself, then leaves the room.


A while later, everybody seems to be up in the cages, though they don’t seem to of been up for very long at all. . .Before they can do much conversing among themselves, Dark Bowser once again enters the room. “It’s time to begin your testing. You lot are coming with me. You saw my power firsthand before – if any of you are stupid enough to try to escape, you wouldn’t of been worth our time anyway.”. Dark Bowser turns to Meta Knight. “Have they given you any further trouble?”.

Meta Knight shakes his head “no” slightly. “They’ve been a bit rowdy and have contemplated escape, but no actual attempts –yet-. . .”.

“That’d to be expected. . .Now then, we’d best get movin-.”.

Dark Bowser is interrupted as a loud moan is heard for no particular reason. He turns around to see Jason Voorhees. Dark Bowser growls. “I thought you said none of them escaped!”.

“That one wasn’t even caged when I got here! He must’ve escaped before then. . .”.

“No matter. . .I was looking for a good person to make an example of anyways.”. Dark Bowser picks up Jason and hoists him above his head for all to see, talking much louder. “THIS is what will happen to anybody who tries to escape!”. The screen shows Meta Knight watching Dark Bowser as his and Jason’s shadow can be seen against the wall behind Meta Knight. Through the shadow, Dark Bowser can been roasting Jason nice and craspy, then taking some nice big juicy bites into him, making a bit of blood splatter about as Jason cries in pain. Meta Knight occasionally cringes ever so slightly at the sight, though he seems fairly uncaring. Eventually the cries of Jason stop, then Dark Bowser laughs slightly before making the cages dematerialize, dropping everybody down onto the ground. A brief pause occurs. . .“What are you expecting, a moment of silence for this worthless piece of shit? Move it!”.


Dark Bowser and Meta Knight lead the group into Valozarg’s “throne room”, where he and Envy are waiting. Valozarg looks over the group briefly. . .”So I imagine you’re all wondering why you’re not dead yet, yes?”.

Richard shakes his head. “Well, I was personally pondering when I could assassinate you and dance around on top of your corpse, but that works too.”.

Belome and the Grunt who were next to Richard hastily distance themselves from him as Dark Bowser comes up to Richard and growls loudly. “You DARE talk to Valozarg in such a way?”.

Valozarg chuckles. “No need to be so defensive, Bowser. . .Of course he –wants- to kill us, but he has the good sense to hold back.”.

Envy rolls his eyes. “If he was so smart he wouldn’t of said anything. . .”.

“That’s the other thing – the fact that he said that shows that he has balls – something I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to understand, Envy.”. Valozarg chuckles and Dark Bowser laughs along with him for Envy to scowl.

Valozarg clears his throat. “Now then, where was I? Ah yes, why you haven’t all been killed yet. . .You lot are going to be working for us against your former masters in the Legion.

Fawful laughs. “I have chortles! You are thinking you can be defeating the all powerful legion which burns with the passion of a thousand suns? You are like a pork chop bathed in barbequing sauce so deeply that it cannot be seeing reality!”.

“Yes, yes, I am aware that even with all the precautions I’m taking that it is likely I will be found out and not be able to stop them, but I’m not a coward like the sniveling lot of you must’ve been to go along with the legion when your worlds were attacked. I don’t know about you, but I don’t intend to take orders for the rest of existence or live in one controlled by somebody other then myself.”.

Black Doom folds his arms. “Yes, yes, that’s all nice and good for you, but what about the rest of us? Why should we prefer to be under your rule rather then the Legion’s when we don’t have a highly probable chance of being slaughtered under them?”.

“Look around you. How many people do you see here? If you prove yourself worthy, there aren’t exactly a lot of people that you’ll have to be sharing the power with. With the legion gone and already leaving over half the worlds in post apocalyptic states, everything is ours for the taking. . .”. Valozarg has a long pause. “HOWEVER. If you give me even the slightest reason to not trust you, keep in mind that your free will has very limited benefit to me. . .Mewtwo, bring in the example.”.

Mewtwo enters the room levitating up Jason, who is severely beaten but barely alive and conscious. Valozarg animates up the blood in the sides of the room with enough to drown him if it were water while Mewtwo continues to hold Jason with his psychic powers. Mewtwo drops Jason down for him to charge at him ferally, his mask falling off and him drooling like a mindless animal. Mewtwo holds Jason back with his powers just enough so that he can keep running at him to try to approach him without gaining any ground. Valozarg nods. “Enough. He has been a fine demonstration. I’ll be needing that blood back now. . .”.

Mewtwo grins and starts doing an exaggerated motion of moving his hands apart before the camera cuts away to the main cast of characters as Jason can be heard being ripped apart by Mewtwo’s sheer psychic power. A good bit of blood splatters on the characters, Jack freaking out from it and shaking it off hastily while Belome licks up the blood that splattered over him before spitting it back out in disgust. Valozarg animates the blood back into the pools in the sides of the room. “Now then, before we begin any physical testing we must first see if any of your loyalties truly lie with the legion. . .Mewtwo, you know what to do.”. Mewtwo nods and goes over to the group of the characters as Valozarg chuckles. “Can’t take any chances, now can we? We’ll be probing your brains – don’t take it personally.”.

Mewtwo probes over a few of the characters before getting to Richard. He takes significantly longer to probe him than the other characters, causing Richard to get bored and tap his foot. Eventually, Richard comes forward waggles his fingers in Mewtwo’s face sarcastically. “I. Like. To. Kill. Things.”. Richard pauses briefly. “How is that not clear by now?”.

Mewtwo sighs. “If you haven’t noticed, undead, you don’t exactly have much of a brain to probe. . .I have to improvise. It takes time.”.

Richard sighs and continues looking bored until Mewtwo finishes with him, then moves on to Sakurai. He gets a strained face trying to read his mind before holding his head in pain and recoiling. “Dammit! I can’t read his mind. . .”. Mewtwo’s face turns serious. “Clearly he must be faking this insanity. . .It’s too elaborate for him to simply naturally be like this. Drop the charade now if you don’t want to make this harder then it has to be.”.

Sakurai just lets out a big stupid grin. “You have no time to ponder such questions, as Link has just grabbed the smash ball!”.

Valozarg chuckles. “Seems he’ll be needing a bit of convincing, Mewtwo.”.

Mewtwo grins and lifts him up in the air, then slowly starts doing the same motion as he did when he ripped Jason in half, causing Sakurai to yell out in pain.

Mewtwo throws Sakurai to the ground before he actually rips him in half and chuckles slightly. “Have you learned your place now?”. Mewtwo attempts to read Sakurai’s mind again before cringing back once more and scowling. He proceeds to thrash Sakurai against the floor repeatedly with his psychic powers, trying to read his mind all the while, but still doesn’t get anything. Valozarg slouches over in boredom. “Come back to that one. He saw what happened to that masked fool. Hopefully he should wise up by then. . .”.

Mewtwo sighs and gives Sakurai a menacing glare to shape up, then moves on to the rest of the characters. He eventually reaches Doppelori and shakes his head. “This one’s a robot. How do you expect me to read it?”.

Valozarg looks uncaring. “If it misbehaves, I can just corrupt it.”.

“Sorry to be blunt, but you still have some catching up to do with technology. . .You can’t put demonblood into her bloodstream when she has no bloodstream to infect. . .”.

“Then we destroy it. No big loss.”.

The camera cuts to Jack Spicer who chuckles to himself as he cooks up an idea. “Maybe I could score some points with these guys if I offered to reprogram her?”.

Just as Jack Spicer is about to say something, Robotnik steps forward. “I am very experienced in the field of robotics – if the robot fails to obey us, I would be more then happy to reprogram it to bind it to your will.”.

Valozarg grins. “Good to see that you’re already thinking about how to help. That settles that matter. . .Continue with the rest.”.

Jack folds his arms with an envious look on his face, then proceeds to give Robotnik the finger when he’s not looking.

Mewtwo reaches Alphonse, the last character in line. “I can’t read this one’s mind either. . .He seems to be another robot.”.

Alphonse nods and poorly attempts to do a droning robotic voice. “I AM MEGATRON 6.72 AND I WILL DESTROY ALL WHO OPPOSE VALOZARG. . .”. Ed looks rather worried about Al’s poor acting. . .

Valozarg shakes his head. “This robot looks too simplistic. . .We’ll probably have to use it as a suicide trooper.”.

Mr. L chuckles. “This guy isn’t a robot. I was talking to him earlier – he was tryin’ to fool you and just made things worse for himself.”.

Alphonse droops his arms down. “I assumed you wouldn’t be enough of a jerk to tell them. . .”.

Mewtwo turns to Mr. L. “Well then, if he’s not a robot, then what is he?”.

“I dunno. I always assumed he was just a big guy in a suit of armor. . .”.

Mewtwo turns back to Al. “You’ll make things much easier for yourself if you stop your poor attempts at deception. . .”.

Al sighs and takes off his head. “I’m. . .Uhhhh. . .A ghost, and I’ve possessed this suit of armor. I’ve spent too long in it, though, so I’m permanently stuck to it. . .”.

Envy comes over and chuckles. “It took me a bit to remember since it’s been a while, but I know this kid. Yeah, it’s a kid. He tried to bring back his mommy dearest, but all he did was destroy his human body. Ever since all he’s been doing is trying to get his precious body back – because his armored bulletproof body that never gets tired wasn’t good enough for him. He was probably going through puberty or something and just wanted his balls back.”.

Alphonse just droops sadly while Ed gets pissed in his place, turning his arm into a blade. “You sure you wanna be talking about my brother like that, homunculus?”.

Envy non chalantly motions off to Ed as he turns to Valozarg. “Oh yeah, and the –pipsqueak- over there? He’s the brother of the armored one. Make sure you keep them separated. . .These aren’t people we can trust. Even if they do cooperate with us-”.

Ed rushes up at Envy the moment he utters the word “pipsqueak” in rage, but as he gets close to Envy Mewtwo grabs him with his psychic powers and throws him back. Envy turns to Mewtwo in annoyance. “You do know I was just waiting for him to get into range, right?”.

Mewtwo shrugs. “I don’t take chances. I don’t have any pathetic “range” issues to deal with. If I see it, I can kill it.”.

Envy picks up where he left off. “Whatever. As I was saying, even if they do cooperate with us against the legion, I’m sure they’ll try to attack us after we take the legion down. . .”.

Mewtwo turns to Valozarg. “Indeed, ignoring these two cowardly “heroes” who groveled before the legion-“.

Ed interrupts again. “We fought them as long as we could, dammit. . .Pretty boy here was with them long before we were. When we did join them, we were just waiting for the ideal chance to betray them.”.

Envy rolls his eyes. “Things gets less and less ideal as time goes on as the demons gain more and more followers. You’re just deluding yourself – a lot of us here were for a pretty long time until we finally decided to, y’know, get off our asses and do something about it.”.

Mewtwo nods in agreement. “Moving on. . .”. Mewtwo turns to Valozarg. “A good chunk of the people here intend to fight against us when the legion is down to take the power for themselves.”.

Valozarg speaks on the matter. “I do not care what any of your intentions are for after this is over – focus on the present for now, that is more then an ample task to focus on, yes? I am not remotely threatened by any of you and am perfectly willing to make a “temporary alliance” so long as you promise me your loyalty as long as the legion lives. An agreeable proposal, yes? Any whom object may come forward. . .Now.”. A brief moment of silence occurs as Valozarg grins. “What? No takers? Nobody wants to commit suicide today? Good. . .Now, let us move on to the physical testing.”.

Meta Knight intervenes. “Aren’t we forgetting to properly probe the man who’s posing as a lunatic to avoid revealing his intentions?”.

Mewtwo turns to Sakurai and sighs. “He seems to enjoy torture. I doubt this will go anywhere fast.”.

Kamek steps up. “I’ve spent a good 20 minutes or so with this idiot in the cage. . .If all he’s doing is an act, it’s among the most elaborative I’ve ever seen. A master conman if I ever saw one. . .Which makes me think he’s just crazy.”.

Valozarg groans. “You barely tortured him at all yet – you can’t really be certain. Give him some time under your power – he’ll speak up eventually.”.

Sakurai recoils. “But I’m not a Nintendo employee! I-is this OK? Are we seriously doing this? Oh, is that so? All right, well, if you insist!”.

Mewtwo sighs and goes over to levitate him as Sakurai yells out again. “Hot! Hot! HOTTT!”.

Valozarg clears his throat. “No reason to waste time. . .While Mewtwo is squeezing out that man’s intentions, we can move on to the physical training. Bowser, Envy. . .Escort them to the pit.”.

Envy seems keen on not wasting any time as he and Dark Bowser lead them out of the room. “You heard him the man. If you lot want to actually start being taken seriously, this is your chance to prove yourselves.”.

Fawful is angered by this. “Why are people such as myself even needing to prove ourselves? Surely you can be seeing the sheer power emitting from my frame that is glorious, and my intelligence the oozes out like the cream filling that is delicious of a donut every time I am speaking!”.

Envy struggles to hold back laughter before eventually giving in. “Firstly, you’re a puny bean humanoid. . .So –very- intimidating. . .Secondly, the more you open your mouth, the less intelligent you sound.”.

“What is this nonsense? I am having much more of the intelligence then you could ever be hoping to have! My brilliance is like a fine gourmet dish with lots of delicious spices, while you are being a lowly peasant who’s tastes are not being developed enough to be appreciating it!”.

“Yeah, see? Your brilliance managed to ignore what I just said – you sound a hell of a lot smarter when you keep your mouth shut.”.

Fawful goes to retort, but Kamek holds him back slightly as the others continue along then quietly says. “You –do- know he’s talking about your. . .Speech impediment, right? If you could get around it you’d probably be making a lot better of an impression. . .”.

Fawful still talks in his regular loud voice. “What are you speaking of?!? There is nothing wrong with how I am speaking! I do not have this speech impediment of which you speak! There is only something wrong with how YOU are speaking for speaking to me in such a way about my speaking!”.

Fawful looks away from Kamek and closes his eyes, looking up with his nose high in the air before making a good distance between them. Kamek just stares in disbelief and shakes his head before slowly coming along. “He’ll be among the first to die. . .If he doesn’t want my help, let him.”.

Belome groans. “When do we get to eat? I’m starving!”.

Dark Bowser growls. “You get to eat when you get to eat. That’s all you need to know.”.

“When is that?”.

Dark Bowser growls more lowly. “When I say so.”.

Belome starts drooling. “When will you say so?”.

“I’ll say so after I tear apart your sorry carcass when you ask another question about food.”.

“Soooo. . .After you tear me apart I get food?”. Belome licks the air excitedly.

Dark Bowser slashes Belome hard, digging in a decent ways. “Not unless you shut the hell up.”. Dark Bowser turns to the others who have stopped and are staring at him. “What? Anybody else got questions about food? Somebody need me to hold their hand and take them to the bathroom? No? Good. . .”.


The group arrives in front of a pit with a massive amount of Raptors blocked off by steel bars. Upon the sight of the characters, they start gnawing on the bars and trying to claw their way out to get to them, frothing at the mouths. Belome gets a similar expression to that of the raptors and goes up against the bars, doing the same thing but trying to get to the other side. Dark Bowser turns to Envy and smirks at this. “Should we just let the Raptors out now?”.

Envy smirks slightly but it quickly turns into a frown as he sighs. “As much as I’d like to see it, we can’t afford to get replacements for these guys. I also like to think I fetch all these mercenaries for more then our entertainment.”.

Dark Bowser squints in annoyance. “You just had to go and ruin the fun, didn’t ya?”. He sighs and shakes his head, then calls out to Belome. “Get back over here for crap’s sake! We’re about to let ‘em out!”. No response is given from Belome. . .Dark Bowser rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you some food if you come over here. . .”.

Of course, Belome quickly comes back over in response to this. “Food? Where? Where are you hiding it?”. Belome seems quite hyperactive at the mentioning of it, twitching rapidly. . .

Dark Bowser simply ignores him as he turns to the others. “I’ll personally be throwing back in any cowards who attempt to get out of the pit before all the raptors are dead. You stay in there and you fight for your lives. Understand?”.

Axel Gear nudges Jack. “You hear that, sissy boy? You know he was talking specifically to you. . .”.

Jack’s eyes dart about quickly to try to find somebody else to pick on to take the attention off of him. He notices Robotnik has but a few crappy badniks going around with him. He points off to him. “Nah, I’m pretty sure he was talking about tubby over here.”. Jack chuckles. . .

Robotnik motions off to Doppelori and Black Doom in annoyance. “My Eggpod was destroyed by those two having a fight – I had nothing to work with but the spare parts from it. I’d say I did pretty well with the time and resources I was given, and I will further improve them to be superior to your puny robots in due time.”.

Jack of course takes advantage of the one time he’s not the runt of the litter. “Well what about now? This is when the testing’s happening, so my robots are better, so –clearly- he was talking about you.”. He smiles smugly. . .

A brief moment of silence occurs between the two as Dark Bowser motions them to go off into the pit for them to go do so. As they go down Robotnik turns to Jack with his arms folded. “I wasn’t the one who was screaming like a girl at the sight of every enemy. . .”.

Jack continues rapid firing back at Robotnik. “Well yeah, but back then you had your hovercraft thing. Now that you’re left without it, you’re just some worthless old fart.”.

“Ignoring the fact that you have the advantage of youth, I find it highly doubtful you’re particularly skilled physically either. . .”.

“Well yeah, but nobody forced you to have that many twinkies, now did they? You did it to yourself. Besides, I’m more then physically capable. . .”. Jack takes out and activates the monkey staff again which causes Axel Gear and Fang to laugh at him, but Jack quickly whacks them across the face with the staff in his tail. “I’ve practiced with this. . .Wait for those things to come out before you write me off as some loser. As for. . .Well. . .Uhhh. . .”. Jack subconsciously scratches his butt before stopping himself from doing so. “. . .My appearance, really, why do you give a crap? Look at you guys – I’m no different from you now.”.

Axel is still scowling from being whacked across the face, but Fang shrugs. “Fine. Maybe we picked on you a bit too much. . .But like you just said. We’ll have to wait for those things to come down here before we can pass a final judgment. . .”.

Jack just smirks. “My god, did I actually manage to –not- look like an idiot? Am I actually getting. . .Respect? So this is what it feels like. . .And all I have to do is competently fight a pack of raptors!”. Jack chuckles to himself before he comes to the realization of what he’s set himself up into and his smirk turns into a very troubled look. “Oh my god, I have to competently fight a pack of raptors?!? Shit shit shit. . .Uhhhh. . .Yeah. . .Just gotta. . .Keep cool. . .”. Jack pauses as he slowly regains his composure. Just at the moment he collects himself, the bars blocking off the Raptors raise up and they charge into the pit at immense speeds, causing Jack to do his trademark girly scream. . .


Level 3
Play as: Fang, Dr. Robotnik, Black Doom, Alphonse, Richard, Ed, Doppelori, Rocket Grunt, Kamek, Badman, Mr. L, Belome, Fawful, Axel Gear, Jack Spicer (Starts in Monkey Form)
Stock: 5

This is a fairly standard beat’em’up level as you kill all of the Raptors that swarm into the pit. Because they approach from above, characters with good anti-air attacks are preferred, though the Raptors also have a “down aerial” attack that they’ll sometimes attempt as they fall into the pit that gives them invulnerability as they do it. However; there’s bad landing lag if they miss and it can hurt their allies. . .


The last of the Raptors fall, with nearly everybody exhausted, the main exceptions being Belome and Richard. Belome is simply busy eating all of the corpses alongside the Grunt’s Houndour.  Richard picks up some corpses with a gleeful look in his eyes, skipping about happily before throwing them up in the air in a burst of happiness. He then proceeds to send up a large fireball at all of them, causing them to all explode off camera and their blood to rain down onto Richard, who spins around on one foot like a ballerina as it does so in glee. Richard turns up to Envy with his hands clasped together. “Is that all? Surely you have some more merriment to spread around?”.

Envy chuckles as he addresses the others more then Richard. “Oh don’t worry, guys. That was just the first wave. . .We’ve still got another four of them back there!”.

This causes negative reactions from most everybody before Dark Bowser comes over and chuckles. “Relax. That’s all you’ve gotta do. . .For today, that is. . .”. He smiles wickedly. . .


Meanwhile, Valozarg is watching Mewtwo tamper with Sakurai boredly. “Have you really not been able to get it out of him, yet?”.

Mewtwo scowls without showing his face to Valozarg. “The more you ask about my progress, the harder it is for me to concentrate. . .”.

Valozarg shrugs. “He’s been able to resist all of the torture thus far, and every time you try to probe his mind you get nothing. I severely doubt he’s just some lunatic – his insanity goes beyond all levels a mortal should be able to reach. . .”.

Sakurai (laughs). “Yoshi’s back and bursting with personality! He can launch consecutive attacks and even smack around enemies below him mid-flight.”.

Valozarg nods. “I rest my case. . .”.

Mewtwo’s eye is twitching significantly. “God. . .I don’t think I even –want- to describe what I’m seeing now in his mind.”.

“Hmm? What is it? Do tell.”.

“I see. . .This man kicking me to the ground where I am then devoured by a pack of dark steel wolves with spiked chests and red hair. . .”.

Valozarg chuckles. “I think he’s offering you a challenge.”. Valozarg turns to Sakurai and talks as if he were talking to a small child. “Am I right?”.

Sakurai nods and grins. “This ought to make things a bit more thrilling.”.

Mewtwo sighs. “Can you just corrupt him and be done with it? That’s the only way he’ll become trustworthy.”.

“I didn’t think you were one to turn down a challenge, Mewtwo. . .”.

Mewtwo rolls his eyes. “Can we please think practically here for a moment?”.

“Bah. If you need an actual motivation, he’s probably a high ranking member in the Legion and is withholding valuable information from us – you’ll have to keep attempting trying to crack into his brain. Even if I corrupted him, he seems to of delved too far into whatever his “powers” are to be able to directly tell us if asked.”.

Mewtwo sighs deeply. “Fine. Best get it over with.”.

Mewtwo gets into a focused pose as Sakurai just grins stupidly. “There’s a character named Ness who has appeared in the Smash Bros. series up until now. . .”.


Level 4
Play as: Sakurai
Stock: 1

This level takes place inside Sakurai’s mind, and thus the environment is made up of complete randomness that only TheSundanceKid could describe. To get a basic idea, take a look at his moveset, why don’t you? It’s a mesh of a chase level and a stealth level as a telepathic Mewtwo is constantly chasing you, and if you allow yourself to get in front of where he’s scanning, you instantly lose a stock.

There are various areas for you to be able to hide from Mewtwo as he does his sweep, but the catch is that you’re not just running from him – you have to force him out of your mind by triggering hazards as he passes over the spots where they can be triggered. You sometimes have to hide from Mewtwo until he passes by to get behind him to get to the triggers to the hazards, then wait for him to come back to the other side of the room. Unfortunately you are also vulnerable to these hazards, and whenever Mewtwo passes by the hazard triggers he automatically activates them. This means if you get too far ahead of Mewtwo you’ll just die to the hazards instead, meaning the only safe zone is closer to him – closer to his vision. . .


The group with Black Doom, Jack Spicer and company is brought back to the room with Sloth by Dark Bowser. As he leads them on into the center of the room, he suddenly whips around and summons a shadowy cage around them all. He turns over to Sloth to see he’s still asleep, largely annoying Dark Bowser. Dark Bowser goes over to Sloth and roars in his face to wake him up rather then hoisting up the chain himself. Sloth gets up enraged, but Dark Bowser holds him back, grabbing his fists and holding him back. “It’s me, dammit! Just hoist up the chain and you can go back to dreamland again, alright?”.

Sloth slowly calms down and then grunts. “No need to be so loud. . .”. He proceeds to hoist the chain to bring the shadow cage into the air, then props himself against the wall again comfortably as Dark Bowser leaves.

Jack’s stomach growls as Dark Bowser goes to leave. “Sooooo. . .When do we get to eat?” he says in a whiny voice. . .

Dark Bowser snorts. “Like I told that other cannibal dog thing. When you stop asking about it. If you’re –already- whining about something so trivial in your position, it’s doubtful you’ll be useful to us in the field. . .”. Dark Bowser smirks. “I was actually considering having Meta Knight go get something for you, but –just- because of that you don’t get to eat until tomorrow. Enjoy your newfound popularity with your pals up there.”.

Jack turns to angry glares from Axel, Fang, Robotnik, and Black Doom, Jack just left to laugh nervously. “Because I was so popular with these guys already. . .”.

Robotnik throws his hands up in frustration. “So first I’m enslaved, then my Eggpod is ruined, then I don’t get anything to eat and have to spend hours on end with the people responsible. Can’t say I’ve had a day this good in quite some time. . .”.

Jack shrugs. “Some less twinkies will do ya some good anyway, gramps. You’ll be the last of us to die of starvation aside from the robot.”.

Robotnik puts his hands on his hips. “You are hardly in a position to be doling out insults. . .”.

Badman drums his fingers boredly. “Does it really matter we’re not getting anything to eat? It’s not like a bunch of brutes like the people here could make anything worthwhile. What I’d give for some nice Slimoss stew. . .”.

Axel rolls his eyes. “Sorry the food here isn’t up to your high standards – some of us intend on living through this.”.
Doppelori props herself up against the bars in a corner. “Good god, stop acting like it’s the end of the world just because you’re not getting any dinner, won’t you? You’re getting fed tomorrow for crap’s sake. Your whining is getting annoying. . .”.

Axel glares at Doppelori. “Easy for you to say, robot bitch. Not like you needa eat anything.”.

Doppelori squints at Axel. “Say that again. . .”.

“You heard me. Robo-“.

Ed hastily interrupts Axel. “Because we –totally- need to constantly be at each other’s throats, wearing each other down so we get eaten alive by whatever they send at us tomorrow, am I right?”.

Axel glares at Ed, but Fang nods in agreement. “He’s right, Axel. . .”.

Axel sighs and just throws his arms up in aggravation. “What the hell ever.”.

Badman sits comfortably on a chair made out of Slimoss in the corner opposite Doppelori. He holds his head in his hand boredly, looking at Ed. “Why’d you have to go and ruin that conflict? I was hoping for some entertainment. . .”.

Axel snorts at Badman. “Look I said earlier, you snobby undead, some of us intend to survive. . .So, as unfortunate as it is, we can’t kill each other.”.

Badman gives a dismissive motion to Axel. “No, no, that’s quite alright. Feel free to go about killing each other, I’m quite capable of surviving on my own without the help of any petty mercenaries. The only danger in this place is dying of boredom. . .I won’t even bother correcting the simpleton on my race. . .”.

Black Doom nods in agreement. “Yes. . .I could be using this time for far more productive things then to have to sit here and listen to the squabble of insignificant mortals. . .”.

Robotnik rolls his eyes. “YOU have better things to do? You have no idea how much I could be doing with my newly constructed factory – the worst part is I didn’t even set any of the self sustaining parts of it into motion, so I don’t even gain in the slightest with the passage of time. . .”.

Ed looks about the villains with a look of disgust. “Am I the only who –isn’t- pissed off about this? While I don’t like to admit it, this is basically the best shot we have at taking out the legion, and anything we’d of attempted against them we would’ve been doing solo. I can put up with a bit of testing until we get to go out and do stuff.”.

Badman rolls his eyes. “As a matter of fact, yes, you are the only one who’s optimistic about this – because you’re a goody two shoes who wants to save the remaining worlds. You’re trying to see a glimmer of hope in the darkest of dungeons like all the other pitiful heroes who died at the hands of the legion. . .”.

“. . .Why does it matter if I don’t wanna rule the world or not? Is that a requirement for being taken seriously here or something? Either way, you can’t really rule that much with the legion leaving you nothing to rule. . .Whether or not you lot wanna admit it, this is your best shot at taking out the legion, which means it’s your best shot at taking over the world or whatever you all wanna do.”.

“Rule the world? Don’t be absurd. We are much more ambitious then that – we intend to rule the entire universe. Of course, I wouldn’t expect you to know about ambition as you seem to be the hero content to just get a night to himself with a princess. . .”.

Ed goes to retort, but Fang interrupts. “Stop correcting him on technicalities and changing the topic for the love of god, will ya? He’s got a point – a damn good one. None of us would be capable of even attempting to stand up to them on our own.”.

Badman shakes his head. “It’s only fitting you’d be the one to agree with him – If I remember correctly, you were only always in this for the money. You’re just a mercenary.”.

“Yeah, but there aren’t exactly a lot of places left to spend the money, now are there? Write me off as a hero if you have to – I’d rather be one than some self proclaimed “villian” who has his head way too far up his ass to see anything other then himself. Go ahead and say what you will about you totally not needing anybody’s help – all I’m hearing is you bragging about how big your dick is. If you really need to pad your fragile ego up that badly, then you’re probably just in disbelief yourself.”.

Badman’s eye twitches as Axel just chuckles. “You just got your ass handed to you.”. A pause occurs before Axel further prods Badman. “So? Where’s your comeback, huh?”.

Badman regains his composure. “I don’t need to justify a response to heroes, mercenaries, or whatever you call yourselves. I’m not stooping down to such a low level or even going to attempt to decipher your pitiful attempts at “logic”.

Ed turns to Black Doom, Robotnik, Doppelori, and Jack. “So what about the rest of you? You willing to actually cooperate?”.

Jack looks about warily between the “groups”. “The bad guys are more numerous and powerful, so it’d be in my best interest to suck up to them, but. . .They wouldn’t take me seriously anyway.”. Jack looks over at Axel and Fang. “Those guys though. . .Have been absolute assholes to me, especially that guy in the armor. They wouldn’t take me any more seriously and probably wouldn’t let me join up with them anyway.”.

The other characters stay silent, causing Fang to talk to Ed. “Don’t worry about them – not even the undead. With their intelligence I’m sure they all love to brag about, they know what to do. They’re just too in love with themselves to actually admit it.”.

Badman rolls his eyes. “If you’re such a mind reader, then you can figure out that I’m not an undead. . .”.

Axel motions off to Spicer. “No need to make such broad generalizations, Fang. I’m pretty sure that guy knows what a loser he is.”.

Ed shakes his head. “Maybe he does, but when you keep treating him like shit you aren’t exactly giving him a reason to want to come over, now are ya?”.

Axel chuckles. “What? You WANT that loser on our side? You can’t be serious. . .”.

“Better then you – he didn’t call me short.”. Ed’s eye twitches. . .

Axel smirks. “Just telling it how it is, man.”.

Ed rushes at Axel yelling incomprehensibly about how he’s not short, tackling him down and attacking him rapidly. Fang quickly goes to pull Ed off as Badman sarcastically applauds Ed. “See? It hasn’t even been 5 minutes and you can’t follow your own principles. Can you not see how flawed your own logic is?”.

Ed stops reluctantly in an attempt to prove Badman wrong as Axel gets up, infuriated as Fang holds him back. Axel keeps trying to get past Fang. “God, can’t you take just one goddamn insult?”.

Fang sighs. “It doesn’t seem like many people here can. . .You do know you’re not exactly one to talk, right, Axel?”.

Axel calms down as he shrugs Fang off of him. “Yeah yeah. . .”.

Badman looks bored as usual. “So how many times am I going to have to watch you all kiss and make up? The conflicts don’t nearly make up for it in entertainment value. . .”.

Fang speaks with utmost sarcasm. “Oh, terribly sorry that you aren’t satisfied with the show. If you want to watch something else, you can feel free to change the channel. . .”. Fang speaks seriously. “Oh wait.. . .You can’t.”.

Badman doesn’t bother responding and a brief period of silence occurs as Jack thinks on what happened, looking over at Ed. “Soooo. . .That guy actually. . .Stood up for me? I guess I could say something, but. . .It’d probably be best to keep my options open. . .Besides, it’s not like he said it for me anyway, probably.”.

Ed ends the silence as he looks at Badman’s Slimoss chair. “Soooooo. . .Undead. You were talking about Slimoss stew or something earlier, and am I right in assuming that chair you summoned is made of them?”.

God, I’m not an undead. . .You would be correct in your assumptions. How is this remotely relevant to anything?”.

“I’m thinking I could use my alchemy to turn the slime into the stew, if you’d be willing. . .And you can summon more of it easy, right? I saw you using a lot of them in the fight”.

Badman seems interested. “What’s this? He’s going to actually do something –USEFUL-? I’m impressed. . .Yes, yes. Feel free to attempt your shoddy alchemy which will inevitably fail.”. Badman summons a Slimoss in front of Ed non chalantly.

“Just wait and see. . .”. Ed grabs the slime and performs a transmutation on it to turn it into a bowl of Slimoss stew. This very quickly gathers the attention of everybody in the cage save Doppelori.

Axel quickly nabs the soup before anybody else and dives into it, but quickly spits it out. “Forget this crap – tastes like crap.”.

Badman squints in annoyance at Axel. “As if your intolerance of that brilliant soup didn’t showcase your stupidity blatantly enough, your redundancy in that statement was more then enough. What you just spit upon was a gourmet dish, though it’s not that surprising. It’s an acquired taste that a peasant such as yourself couldn’t be expected to have.”. Badman summons some more slimosses in the cage, then turns to Ed and claps his hands together twice quickly. “Chop chop! You’ve got some work to do, alchemist. . .”.

Ed glares at Badman as he starts transmuting the Slimosses into soup, Badman taking the first dish. As everybody else try it they have similar reactions to Axel, Doppelori and Black Doom being the only ones to not bother trying. Axel rolls his eyes at Ed. “So yeah. All that accomplished was feeding the undead with a dick so huge it can’t fit in a vagina.”. Axel pats Ed on the back. “Good job, man!”.

Ed stares blankly at Axel before Badman hands him an empty bowl. “More soup, alchemist.”. Ed’s eye twitches. . .


We cut to the other group of characters – the group with Richard, Fawful, and the rest. They’ve still been left inside the pit with all the Raptor corpses, but a set of bars has been placed at the top of the pit by Dark Bowser much like the ones in his shadow cages. Envy is standing guard.

Down in the pit, Belome can be seen gnawing on the lifeless bones of the Raptors in a feral canine fashion, practically frothing at the mouth. Kamek shakes his head at Belome. “You –do- realize that you’ve gotten all of the meat off of there by now, correct?”.

Belome takes the bone out of his mouth briefly and then rapidly points at it. “What are you talking about?!? There’s all KINDS of meat on that thing! You blind or something?!?”.

Kamek sighs as Belome goes back to gnawing on the bone, the Grunt coming over to Kamek. “I assume it’s just because he’s a dog-like creature – he has a fascination with bones like any other canine.”.

“I suppose it only makes sense. . .”.

After a brief silence, the Grunt yells skyward at Envy. “So when’re you gonna take us back to the cage? It smells like shit in this shithole. . .Reminds me of headquarters. . .”.

Envy rolls his eyes as he leans over the pit to look at the Grunt. “There’s just no pleasing you lot, is there? Bowser blocked off the top of this place so your little pets could finish their meals and so you could have some more breathing room. You should be thanking us, if anything. . .That and Bowser didn’t feel like escorting everybody back to the other room. . .”.

Envy leaves as the Grunt goes over to Belome. “Did you hear that, buddy? He just called you a pet. Whadda think about that?”.

Belome squints in anger at this as the Grunt points up at Envy as he goes to leave. Belome rapidly begins clawing at the sides of the pit in a futile attempt to try to climb it up to get at Envy, doing little but exhausting himself. Al sighs at this. “Why’d you tell him? Now he’ll just be more tired for the next fight and it’ll be harder for us. . .”.

“Did you not see how much that thing ate? He should have more then enough steam to bulldoze through whatever they throw at us next. . .”.

“Uhhh. . .He was mainly fighting by eating them, and if he’s so full won’t he have trouble fighting. . .?”.

“Then me saying that won’t have an effect on his battle strength either way, see?”.

Kamek groans. “Either way, it doesn’t seem like it’ll help particularly. . .”.
Suddenly, Fawful comes up to Kamek and nudges him, grabbing his attention, then motions for him to follow him away from the others. Kamek does so, and the two prop themselves up against the wall in a corner. Fawful. “I am knowing of you – you are working for the king koopa who is constantly failing at defeating the red and green mustaches. I am having correctness?”.

Kamek nods. “Yes, yes. . .What did you call me for?”.

“Then surely, as one who regularly antagonizes the men who are having mustaches, you find something strange about –him-?”. Fawful subtly motions over to Mr. L, the camera focusing on him as they continue to talk.

“Now that you say something about it, he –does- look familiar. . .”.

“Oh? What is making you say such a thing? Is it being the mustache? The fact that he is wearing all green? His accent which is thicker than the finest dressing on a delectable salad? Be taking your pick, Magikoopa. He is obviously being the green bean – the lesser of the two brothers of Mario.”.

“Oh, yes, because clearly those are the only people in the world with those qualities. . .He’s not even wearing overalls. I suppose the Wario Brothers are now the Mario Brothers also?”.

“How could you have guessed? Indeed, the brothers of Wario are in fact the brothers of Mario! They are simply being the alternate identities of the brothers of Mario when they are wanting to be participating in the criminal activities – even the brothers of Mario are not immune to the corruption!”.

“. . .I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that idiotic conspiracy theory. . .Aside from his appearance, he bears zero resemblance to Luigi – the most obvious difference is their personalities. Luigi is a coward who’s timid to even take credit for his own accomplishments, letting his brother get all the fame. He hardly seems ambitious enough to be a thief like this individual. . .”.

“Fine, fine, maybe my Wario brothers theory is being a bit far fetched, as it would contradict with this theory anyway. Just be making sure to keep an eye on him.”.

“I can certainly agree to that. It’s rather hard not to when we’re in such a confined space anyway. . .”.

The camera pans over to Richard, who is innocently twiddling his thumbs in the corner and seemingly cheerful, minding his own business. Mr. L approaches him. . .”So what’re you doing all innocent-like? It seems rather. . .Unlike ya. . .”.

“Oh? Why ever would you say such a thing? I am good making merry man!”.

“. . .A half hour ago or so you were embracing blood and torturing souls left and right, Mr. stabsallinsight. . .”.

Richard frowns. “Fine, have it your way. I was being joyful about all the chaos and destruction I just caused. But if I can’t be joyful, then I’m perfectly happy to cause some more chaos and destruction, if you’d like.”.

“. . .Hey now. I didn’t suggest you do anything like that. . .”.

“Oh no, that’s quite alright. You wanted it, you’ll get it. I insist. . .”. Richard gets up and smirks evily, not that we can see it. Mr. L looks annoyed, but then gets an idea and rubs his hands together eagerly, getting his own evil smirk. He whistles for Belome like he would for any other dog, yelling out “Here boy!” as he comes over. As Belome gets to him and laps his tongue out like any other dog, Mr. L grabs Richard’s leg out from under him and throws it off into the distance. “Fetch!”. Richard squints at Mr. L angrily. . .


Richard Vs. Mr. L, Belome
Stock: Infinite/1/Infinite

You’re given the role of Richard for the fight. Belome is allied to Mr. L, and will constantly be using his devouring moves on you which will simply have him devour one of your bones in addition to their normal effect. To get the bone back, you have to hit Belome with an attack that does over 10% to make it pop out of him like a dragoon part, though he can still eat the bones when they’re lying around. You reattach your bones laglessly and automatically by walking over them. You start the match missing one bone with it at the opposite side of the field and Belome going to go get it. While you have infinite stamina (The arena is walled in), if you lose 5 bones you lose, and as you lose more and more bones your movement gets worse and worse as Richard has to drag himself along.

Belome has infinite stamina as well, and thus your goal is to kill Mr. L, who has the standard 150 stamina. While it’s a 2v1, Mr. L can’t really do anything to you beyond grab you to hold you in place for Belome, which he’s generally not smart enough to do.


Richard is seen missing both of his legs and frantically pulling himself along the ground with his arms away from Belome. He takes the legs bones of a Raptor and hastily attaches them to himself, desperate. He goes over to Mr. L and throws him to the ground, then throws a fwoosh fireball at him to knock him out. He pants as Belome comes charging at him, then uses Mr. L as a meat shield. Belome keeps trying to get around Mr. L to get at Richard, much to his annoyance. “God, chomp at him you stupid mutt!”. Richard brings up his sleeve and showcases his boney arm to Belome as he continues to dodge about. “Look at this! No meat!”. Richard hastily proceeds to lift up Mr. L’s sleeve to showcase his flesh. “Look at THIS! Juicy delicious mouth watering meat from heaven! Take your pick. . .”. Belome pants slightly and actually takes half a second to think, then licks his lips as he starts biting into Mr. L, whom Richard casually tosses away. Richard dusts his hands off, then chuckles as he walks away and starts looking for his –actual- leg bones in the piles and piles of Raptor bones everywhere.

Alphonse runs up and forces Belome off of Mr. L. “Haven’t you eaten enough already?”.

Belome keeps trying to get out of Al’s grasp. “Good god, are you mad?!? I haven’t eaten in over half an hour!”.

Al turns to Richard and glares. “Why’d you do that? Now he’s gonna constantly be trying to eat us all. . .”.

Richard sarcastically imitates what Al said, then retorts. “Why do you care? You don’t have any meat on your bones he can eat, and neither do I. We will survive and that’s all that matters.”.

“Except for the part where we die because we have to take out even more stuff than we did today. . .”.

“Firstly, I’m already dead, so I can’t die. Secondly, I’m perfectly open to letting him kill you all and fighting all of those people myself – you lot just steal my kills and leave less for me.”.

“. . .You do know I could just do what this thief guy did, right? You couldn’t use me as a meat shield – like you said, I don’t have any flesh he could eat. . .Thanks for reminding me. . .”.

“What was that about violence not being the answer? Hmm?”.

Al sighs. “You aren’t exactly leaving me much choice. . .I don’t want to have to resort to violence. . .But I will if I have to!”.

Richard groans and goes back into his corner, twiddling his thumbs but obviously less gleeful now. “You do know that he was the one that started it, right? I was just sitting here minding my own business, and bam. He unleashes that attack dog on me.”.

The Grunt rolls his eyes. “What are you, five years old? I don’t give a damn about who started it.”.

An awkward silence occurs. We cut to Kamek and Fawful briefly, the latter motioning off to Mr. L again as the camera again focuses on him. “Do you not see? While the man who is in green is having lots of talk, he is not having much to be backing it up! Just like the failure that is that other man in green, yes?”.

Kamek shrugs. “Luigi’s a lot more competent then you’d think – he’s done a lot more damage to our castle then he’s gotten credit for. I wouldn’t use that as a reason to say that’s him.”.

“Bah. You are not having any of the correct observations. All of this talk that is tough is just being an act – probably so the legion that is burning would be more accepting of him. Is it not transparent to you also?”.

“Doubtful. I imagine he’d of fought alongside his brother against the legion.”.

“Are you not remembering? The man in green is a coward – there is no way he would be fighting such a battle that is as impossible as finishing off the last slice of mustard covered whale blubber. He would most definitely of gotten down onto his knees and joined the legion.”.

“. . .Fine. You’ve got a point. . .”. Kamek lets out a thoughtful “hmm. . .” as the awkward silence continues.

Suddenly, the silence is broken as Sakurai can be heard shouting “It sticks to them! Get… GET IT OFF!” for no apparent reason, capturing everyone’s attention. He is then thrown into the pit alongside all the others, trying to climb the air frantically as he’s thrown down yelling “I must recover!”. Sakurai gets knocked unconscious from the fall, then Meta Knight and Envy lean over the pit to look down at Sakurai. Envy turns to Meta Knight. “So did Mewtwo find out his motives or whatever?”.

Meta Knight struggles to answer the question. “. . .Yes and no. Mewtwo apparently managed to get into his mind and find all that he needed. . .But even once he finally got inside, he was just a crazy deranged man.”.

“. . .That’s it? It was that hard to read him just because he was that crazy? There’s gotta be more to it. . .”.

“That’s what Mewtwo thought. . .But he decided he’d had enough of it for now, and decided to hold back for a while for the sake of his own sanity.”.

“Probably for the best. . .So you mind watching the pit?”.

“Well, actually-“.

Envy interrupts. “Good. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”.

Meta Knight sighs as Envy goes to leave. . .


We cut back to the other group with Fang, Badman, and company. A decent bit of time seems to of passed, as Badman, Axel, Jack, and Fang are trying to sleep. They’re rather struggling to do so as Robotnik makes constant noise tinkering with his robots and various parts, shuffling them about.

Badman is the first to complain. “God, can you stop making all that noise? –Some- people are trying to sleep over here. . .”.

Robotnik sarcastically retorts. “Oh, I will gladly stop making this noise so you can go to beddy-bye and get a good night’s sleep. . .”. Robotnik takes on a serious tone. “And then get crushed by whatever they send at us tomorrow when my robots are in no shape to fight.”.

“As if we would need your help. It’s doubtful you could even make anything of use out of those anyway.”.

Axel Gear shrugs. “As much as I hate to admit it, the undead’s right. We’re perfectly capable of handling ourselves, but we won’t be if we don’t get any sleep.”.

I’m trying to sleep here – do undeads sleep? No, I didn’t think so. . .”.

Ed sighs. “We need all the help we can get. . .And besides. There’s a reason I’m staying up. Do you really trust these guys to not kill us in our sleep? You really don’t even have a reason to trust me either.”.

Axel chuckles. “Show some balls, man. It’s not like these losers could take us off anyway, even while we’re sleeping.”.

Fang shakes his head slightly at Axel. “No need to be so cocky, Axel. . .He’s got a point, though we should be fine so long as one of us stays up to keep watch.”.

Axel pats Ed on the back. “Thanks for volunteering.”.

Ed rolls his eyes. “It’s not like we’re getting any sleep anyway with that guy over there working on his machines.”.

Jack groans. “Those guys over there are probably right. Nobody’s sleeping tonight. . .May as well take the chance to score some popularity points.”. Jack gets up and goes over to Robotnik. “Sooooo. . .Anything I can help you with on these?”.

Robotnik turns to Jack and squints. “Oh please. Based off your incompetence shown thus far, you’d just make things worse.”.

“It’s not like you’ve given me much of a chance to prove myself on robotics – all you’ve got to base it on are these robots I brought with me. I had most of my robots assigned to guarding a base for the Legion.”.

“Yeah. Sure you do. Just like that other robot in the corner was your creation.”. Robotnik nods subtly at Doppelori.

Jack folds his arms. “And how do we know that you have anything more then that busted flying machine with that kind of logic?”.

“Because I have been actually competent in the fights, perhaps? Not cowering behind the others? That, and I have some actual people willing to speak on my behalf. . .Fang? Doom?”.

Black Doom shakes his head as he comes back into the real world, having been in thought. “Yes, yes. . .For a human, you were competent, what with your fleets of ships manned by armies of robots.”.

Robotnik chuckles. “That, and I’m actually a fully evolved human – based off your fascination with that staff, you seem to still be in the early stages. Let’s not even talk about your inexperience based off your age. . .”.

Jack goes to retort, but Ed beats him to it. “What’s age got to do with anything exactly?”.

Robotnik gets slightly nervous. “Oh ho, I’m not insulting you, my boy! You’re a perfectly competent fighter, as you’ve proven. You just can’t hope to match my knowledge which I’ve accumulated over years and years of experience. . .”.

Ed speaks sarcastically. “Oh yeah, because alchemy is entirely a physical skill that requires no thought whatsoever.”.

Robotnik gets a perplexed expression. “Alchemy? Is that what you call that? I was more under the impression it was magic or something or other, what with your creations appearing out of nowhere. . .”.

“Well, news flash, it’s alchemy, a science. Considering you’re going on and on about your intelligence, I assumed you’d be familiar with it. . .”.

“You call making stuff appear out of nothing a science? Bahahahahhahaa! There’s no logical explanation for that. Besides, doesn’t alchemy require a transmutation circle or something or other? I’ve seen you make stuff appear without one of those. . .”.

“First off, I’m not just making stuff magically appear. You saw me make that undead his soup? I made it out of the slime. It’s called equivalent exchange – turning something into something else. Secondly, I’ve advanced farther than you could’ve ever hoped to in robotics to be able to perform it without the circles.”.

Robotnik chuckles. “Oooohhhhh! You don’t have to draw circles in the ground like a school child any more! Your mother must be so proud. . .”.

Ed’s getting significantly pissed. “If you didn’t hear earlier from that fruitcake homunculus, my mom’s dead, you asshole. . .”.

Robotnik starts getting nervous at Ed getting pissed and thus backs down. “Fine, fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to uncover old wounds. . .”.

“Whatever. Just let that other guy over there help you with it so we can get some sleep eventually, alright?”.

Robotnik folds his arms. “Fine, but if he messes it up and makes it take longer, don’t blame me.”.

Ed goes back over with Axel and Fang, Jack staring at him in awe as his back is turned. “He really -is- standing up for me, isn’t he?”.

Robotnik’s voice interrupts Jack’s moment. “Well? Do you intend to help or not?”.

Jack hastily goes back to being serious and goes over to Robotnik. “Uhhh, yeah. Sure thing.”.


In the pit, the group of characters there are seen mostly all asleep, even Meta Knight who’s failing to stay up for guard duty. The only exceptions are Alphonse, incapable of sleep, and the Grunt’s Zubat which he seems to of left of its’ pokeball to guard him while he sleeps. Alphonse is boredly sitting around and nothing much seems to be happening. . .Until Richard (Who now has his normal legs back) peeps open one eye subtly, the camera zooming over to him and showing his vision as he looks at Alphonse.

For crap’s sake, is he ever going to go to sleep? I didn’t think he’d actually be serious when he said he’d stay up all night for guard duty. . .How am I supposed to kill all of them in their sleep with him cutting me off? He probably doesn’t need sleep or something or other. I think that freak show with the hair-do that just –begs- me to set it ablaze said something about it. Perhaps I should’ve paid attention? Bah. I had more important things to think about, like drowning newborn puppies in pools of baby tears. In any case, I can’t stand to wait any longer. . .”.

Richard hastily gets up and starts animating up the bones of the Raptors into a miniature undead army, Alphonse and Zubat turning to look at them.


Alphonse, Zubat, Various Vs. Richard
Stock: 2+/1

You start with just Alphonse and Zubat – none of the Grunt’s other Pokemon. The other 5 characters are sleeping on the floor at the start, but the skeletal raptors will quickly pin them to the ground and start gnawing at them, taking a set amount of time to kill them. If you free a character from the raptors on top of them, you get an extra stock to use that character. You can only save so many people – you have to choose who you want. If you save the Grunt, you can switch to Grimer and Houndour on Zubat’s stock in addition to getting another stock for the Grunt.

All of your characters have 150 stamina in this walled in-stage while Richard has 300, and killing Richard will instantly kill all of the skeletal Raptors – which there are plenty of. Every so often Richard raises up more, and he can raise them up infinitely. The fact there’s no limit to how many can be out at a time doesn’t help – it means you can’t just exclusively focus Richard unless you want to drown in a sea of skeletons.


Belome leads the charge against the skeletons as he tears them apart, but gets too sidetracked with gnawing on bones which have long been made lifeless. The Grunt yanks the bone away from Belome and throws it away, but Houndour ends up catching it in his mouth and gnawing on it himself. Belome is a bit slow to react and sees Houndour with his bone, then tackles him. The Grunt groans and returns Houndour to his pokeball, making him drop the bone and making Belome focus again. The Grunt proceeds to send out Grimer instead. “Absorb the bones so he can’t just reanimate them.”. Grimer nods slightly without turning to face the Grunt as he starts going about doing so. . .

We cut to Alphonse pinning Richard to the ground Warlordian stomp style, standing on top of his neck with his boot. ”Dispel the skeletons, now!”.

Richard smiles smugly, not that we can see it. “Oh? And what’re you going to do if I don’t? You’re against violence if I recall. . .”.

Al puts significantly more weight on Richard’s neck, causing noises that make it sound like his neck is about to snap. “I am against violence – that’s why I’m stopping yours right here and now!”. Al puts more pressure on Richard’s neck as he says each of the last few individual words, then just as he’s about to snap Richard’s neck lets up on him, causing him to gasp for air as he’s let up.

Richard hastily backs himself into a corner and puts up his hands in a “stop” motion. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Cover me while I channel the spell.”. Al comes over and does so as Richard chuckles subtly and casts a spell. ”Gullible fool. . .”. After a good 10ish seconds of uninterrupted channeling as we watch the others fight, Richard finishes the spell and raises back up every single Raptor in the pit at once.

Al turns around to Richard and grabs him, squeezing him hard enough to make several of his bones crack. “What did you do that for?!?”.

Richard gets a sissy look on his face clasps his hands together, talking in the utmost sarcasm. “Oh, put me down, please! I’ll dispel all the skeletons this time, really! I promise!”. Richard’s expression turns blank. “Please. This is your own fault for being stupid enough to trust me.”.

Al squeezes Richard harder, causing him to yelp slightly as he brings him close to force him to look into his helmet. “Then don’t expect me to ever give you that privilege again!”.

After squeezing Richard significantly harder, he throws Richard over to Belome, who proceeds to gnaw on Richard’s bones causing him to scream out in all the more pain before falling unconscious. The Grunt glares over at Alphonse angrily. “What the hell did you do that for?!? We can’t take out all of these goddamn things again – much less all at once! He was our only hope to take them out!”.

Al retorts, in a legitimately angry mood. “Why didn’t you try to make him dispel the skeletons then?!? He’d just make more work for us!”.

The fighting continues on for a bit longer, things starting to look bleak for the group before Meta Knight comes into view at the top of the pit with Dark Bowser, who unsummons the shadowy caging at the top of the pit to let Meta Knight go in. Meta Knight swoops down into the pit and starts up a gigantic mach tornado, the force strong enough to pull in the individual bones of the Raptor Skeletons (As well as Richard), tearing them apart. The Grunt calls his Zubat back into its’ Pokeball to avoid it getting sucked into the tornado while Fawful hangs onto Alphonse’s leg to avoid getting sucked in. Eventually, Meta Knight stops the tornado, causing all of the bones to get blasted every which way. Meta Knight flies back up out of the pit and Dark Bowser resummons the shadowy bars to lock the characters in again. Belome of course resumes mindlessly gnawing on the various bones, while Fawful hastily distances himself from Alphonse before anyone notices what he was doing. . .

Dark Bowser comes clearly into view of the characters in the pit. “Who the hell was responsible for this?”.

Al quickly speaks up. “The skeleton warlock.”.

Dark Bowser looks around among the characters, unable to find Richard due to his bones having been scattered along with those of the Raptors. “I don’t see any skeletal warlock. . .Don’t think I remember one. . .It sounds like you’re just scapegoating this “skeleton warlock” to put the blame off of someone else. . .That wouldn’t happen to be you, now would it?”.

Kamek clears his throat. “He’s telling the truth, and I’m sure any of the others here would also speak on his behalf.”.

Meta Knight turns to Dark Bowser and nods, while Dark Bowser just sighs. “I dunno. It’s good that he’s got such a massive bloodlust, but if he’s –that- big of a psycho he may be more trouble than he’s worth.”.

The Grunt rolls his eyes. “Why can’t you just, y’know, give him his own special cage and just bring him out when you have hordes of enemies for him to kill? You don’t place some teenager just in for a bit of shoplifting and a big black pedophile named Bubba in the same cell. . .”.

Dark Bowser folds his arms. “That could work, but we don’t have enough competent people to watch after you lot – and based off what he just pulled off here, he may very well need to share a cell with you lot if we don’t want him to break out. . .Though. . .About that. . .”Metaphor” of yours. . .You wouldn’t happen to be speaking from experience, now would you?”. Dark Bowser grins.

The Grunt is taken aback. “No, dammit! That was. . .My friend that happened to!”.

Dark Bowser just bursts into laughter and leaves the area, after which an exceptionally awkward silence takes place. . .Sakurai eventually breaking it. “Did you notice that thing dangling from Fox’s waist? What is that? Yup, that’s his Reflector.”.

This causes everyone to turn to Sakurai with blank expressions, and Meta Knight to shake his head and go to leave. Before he does, Alphonse calls out to him. “Hey, you!”. Meta Knight turns around and Al continues. “Why are you taking orders from those guys? With how powerful you are, why are you left with stuff like guard duty?”.

Meta Knight folds his arms. “I have to earn more of their trust and respect first, but it’s not like there’s much of anyone else to do it anyway and in any case it doesn’t really matter. This is the best resistance to the legion that exists. If you’re truly interested in stopping them as Envy said, you’ll follow my example. Don’t think of me as an authority above you – we’re actually quite similar. You’re simply on a lower level then I am – you have farther to go to prove yourself.”.

Sakurai spouts out another random dojo quote. “It has arrived! The Battleship Halberd! It’s Meta Knight’s battleship…isn’t it?”.

Meta Knight points his sword down at Sakurai. “The reason it’s taking longer to validate you is because people like that fool are weighing you down. Don’t worry. Eventually diseases like him will be weeded out.”.

Al shakes his head. “I don’t believe you’re like the others. You’re not in this for the power you’ll get afterwards. . .Can you really call people like him a disease? Can you really just let them die?”.

Meta Knight looks down to the ground, closes his eyes, then shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh. “After seeing all of my race slaughtered by the legion, there really aren’t that many lives left I feel are worth saving – the legion has left an empty void that will only be quenched by revenge. One other of my race survived. I tried to take him under my wing and guide him to a path of honor, but he slaughtered countless innocents. His justification for the holocaust? A slice of cake was apparently stolen from him. . .”. Meta Knight pauses before continuing, letting out another sigh. “I eventually put a stop to his rampage and finished him off for good, but when I was later forced to join the Legion, I found the real culprit – a penguin king who had unleashed the beast that worked for the legion. In the cake was a philosopher’s stone, which Kirby – the so-called psychopath – had devoured. It turned him into a mindless homunculus of Gluttony. Before the cake was fully devoured, King Dedede took away the cake from him – taking away a homunculus’ meal of souls before it’s finished is never good, much less when it’s a Gluttonous homunculus. Dedede was granted massive demonic powers for his deeds, and I later confronted him in-“

Sakurai randomly interrupts. “Norfair is the location in Metroid where the enemy boss Ridley was. There was a lot of lava, and it seemed like a rather hot area.”

Meta Knight stares blankly down into the pit, having not actually looked into it since he started talking. Sakurai is being stupid, the Grunt and Fawful are in separate corners, ignoring him, Kamek and Mr. L are asleep, while Belome is of course gnawing on the Raptor bones. Only Alphonse is listening, causing Meta Knight to just shake his head and walk away. “Look around you. . .You’re going to be there a long time before we pick out all the weeds.”.



  1. Something I’d like to see in the comments is some suggestions on how I could implement voting people off into this new MYM Survivor – what with it actually having some degree of plot and logic, rather then a game for some random person’s entertainment. Randomly killing off their soldiers is awkward, and giving the other characters the choice to do so is even more awkward. I’m considering even just killing somebody every 3 days without it being a mechanic. The closest thing I can come up with is having the hosts vote on it, but that doesn’t really bring in all of the various survivor politics from the original survivor.

  2. Well, that was good. Scratch that, awesome. I wish I had more to say, but I already discussed much of the first half or so with MW. I’ll be more like my regular Survivor-loving self come all new material, but I particularly did love the second half scenarios and the use of Mr. L in all-too-interesting ways.

    Loved the Meta Knight speech too at the end, as well as his use of Dojo!! quotes. If I had to pick favourites, it’d be Mr. L [obviously], Spicer and Belome, along with DB and Valozarg for best hosts. To me, Richard is being used just as well as in the first Survivor.

    For a way to make this a Survivor, maybe have a Survivor 1-style vote-off, sheerly because of the political stuff, which is my favourite part of it all. Make it work somehow.

  3. Since the aim of the first Survivor was to vocalise the internal machinations that drive people apart in a hopeless situation, simply having the characters continue to fall out with one another should do well enough in driving the second story along.
    If you want Survivor-1-eske sucking up, then Jack Spicer’s subplot to gain personal acceptance, along with Alphonse’s subplot of fostering mutual cooperation Vs Richard’s plot to spread anarchy is more than sufficient in that regard.
    You could also have a one off situation of death-voting, engineered as one of Dark Bowser’s tests (to see whether they’re willing to sacrifice one another to comply with DB. Or simply as a test of how well they work under mental stress)

    Survivor 1’s politics were entertaining enough, but a repeat of that would be just that. You have all the characterisation and subplots neccessary to write something truly engaging, and more dynamic than your previous story.

    I could probably hazard a guess as to some of the twists you’ve got planned for this story, but I look foreward to seeing what kind of characters are in the Legion and the eventual confrontations they’ll have with this bizarre rebel faction.

    PS/ Since Doppelori is probably the most obscure character ever, I should probably tell you what I can about her character, even though you seem to have a good enough handle on her already;
    The main thing is that she is fiercely loyal to her deceased creator, Darnacus Damnation, and not to any other organisation or ideal. In Survivor 2, once she has a handle on her situation, I imagine she would be quite happy to fight against the Legion, if only so she can build up her own army in Darnacus’ name, once everything is over.
    She is naturally violent, but she will cooperate if given enough reason to.

  4. Im not sure how making the voting natural would work, but I think having both he team and the hosts vote on it would make sense, and then comparing results or something. Maybe have some sort of special challenge if there are two different characters voted for. example: Hosts vote for Al while the team votes for Belome. Al and Belome get in sort of competition and the loser is killed off.

    In regards to the story, the backstory you have very well-made, and whether or not its in Survivor 1’s continuity, its a very nice backstory. The way you write all the characters is very informed and you only really get into OoC territory with characters that dont have character anyway. I think Axel might be a bit more friendly than that, and Fawful seems a bit too recessive considereing how he yells constantly about his plans ingame. He seems a bit more tame when talking to Kamek.

    Anyway, really like this one and I hope it at least lasts longer than Survivor 1. If you abandon this one, give it an actual ending please (WARY)

  5. “Since the aim of the first Survivor was to vocalise the internal machinations that drive people apart in a hopeless situation, simply having the characters continue to fall out with one another should do well enough in driving the second story along.”

    I agree with you, but then there’s a matter of if this should be called Survivor at all, and if it should follow the 3 day format or the settings changing/the character dying or not. Considering I’ve basically committed to all you’ve seen already being the only playable characters, though, I feel it may get a bit dry without the characters slowly killing each other off. The main problem is making it organic.

    “If you want Survivor-1-eske sucking up, then Jack Spicer’s subplot to gain personal acceptance, along with Alphonse’s subplot of fostering mutual cooperation Vs Richard’s plot to spread anarchy is more than sufficient in that regard.”

    Based off your lack of response to Survivor 1, I assumed you weren’t much a fan of this sort of thing. You don’t have to feel obligated to do “sucking up” if you don’t want to. In any case, I agree with you on the highlights.

    “You could also have a one off situation of death-voting, engineered as one of Dark Bowser’s tests (to see whether they’re willing to sacrifice one another to comply with DB. Or simply as a test of how well they work under mental stress)”

    I’m glad that somebody here actually realizes how illogical it would be for Valozarg and company to have their new minions constantly vote somebody off tod eath every 3 days – you’re the only one who seems to be thinking about this realistically. I’ll probably take advantage of the one logical voting period that could actually exist on day 3. After that, god knows.

    “Survivor 1′s politics were entertaining enough, but a repeat of that would be just that. You have all the characterisation and subplots neccessary to write something truly engaging, and more dynamic than your previous story.”

    If there isn’t voting, then I’d probably make the deaths more hap-hazard and less numerous. The SM would become less and less of Survivor and end with the remaining characters against the Legion – which isn’t necessairily bad, but the politics seemed to be what a lot of people liked about the first one and what made them talk about it considerably in the chat for a while. I’ll have to do some more serious consideration before moving forward with this.

    “I could probably hazard a guess as to some of the twists you’ve got planned for this story, but I look foreward to seeing what kind of characters are in the Legion and the eventual confrontations they’ll have with this bizarre rebel faction.”

    Assuming you or whoever else doesn’t know, the Burning Legion are an actual force of demons that are the main antagonists of the Warcraft universe. Of course, the actual commanders that get screen time will be mostly mercenaries recruited from fallen worlds – most probably MYM movesets. Ryuk will near inevitably come back among them for some very slight continuity.

    “PS/ Since Doppelori is probably the most obscure character ever, I should probably tell you what I can about her character, even though you seem to have a good enough handle on her already;
    The main thing is that she is fiercely loyal to her deceased creator, Darnacus Damnation, and not to any other organisation or ideal. In Survivor 2, once she has a handle on her situation, I imagine she would be quite happy to fight against the Legion, if only so she can build up her own army in Darnacus’ name, once everything is over.
    She is naturally violent, but she will cooperate if given enough reason to.”

    Many thanks – we wouldn’t want Doppelori’s character to become an obligatory one like Anne’s. This should hopefully make me avoid her less in day 2 – I mostly passed this day just by referencing her a lot. Her lines were rather lacking in quantity.

  6. I read up to level 1 so far and I quite enjoyed it, though that may be partialy due to 2 of my favorite of my own sets ever getting most of the screen time and acting in a manner I approve of. Seeing Fang , Eggman, Black Doom in another SM together also brought back some good memories to Playing God…

    I also loved Sakurai constantly tripping. He’s definitley the most villianous of the group (smirk2)

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