Posted by: katapultarr | February 4, 2012

Whiskey and Green Tea – Chaptre 1

It was another beautiful morning for teh boiz of Yamaku High. Especially Hisao, who was had just gotten up to go get him and his bro Kenji some breakfast…

…Except there was one teensy little problem.

HISAOKenji, do you have any idea where our endless supply of Fruit Brute might have run off to?
KENJIDude I just stocked up on that shit the other day. There’s no way it could all be gone by now!
HISAO – You might want to take another look…

Hisao left the American pantry open for his bro Kenji, whose jaw dropped at the horrifying sight that befell him: there was no Fruit Brute in the pantry! (okay so in reality he WOULDN’T have been able to see much if anything, but bare with me; let’s just say he smelled it!)

 

KENJI – HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
HISAO – Now we have nothing to eat for breakfast…
KENJI – Indeed. This must be part of the feminists’ plan to starve US, the only manly men capable of going up against their tyranny, in order to prevent us from being able to work at our full capacity! There’s only one thing we can do in this situation, Hisao my bro…

HISAO – And what’s that?
KENJI – We must invade the feminists’ stronghold they have here in this very school and take back what’s rightfully ours!
HISAO – Wait, they have a stronghold? In OUR school!?
KENJI – That they do, Hisao my bro. I’ve been quite reluctant in attacking it for quite some time due to not having enough resources, but now that our precious Fruit Brute’s been stolen I say it’s now or never! Besides, I have you with me now Hisao my bro…
HISAO – Then why don’t we just go and attack them right now before classes begin?
KENJI – Good idea. The longer we wait the greater the advantage the feminists have…who knows how many boxes of our precious Fruit Brute they’ve already devoured!? – With that Kenji walked out of the dorm and proceeded to the hallways with his bro Hisao.
HISAO – (Man, can’t believe I have to go through this crap early in the morning. Then again, my stomach’s on the line here so I really have no choice…)

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Verse 1.1 Begin

Your goal here is to use Kenji and Hisao to brave through the halls of Yamaku High and reach the Feminists’ Stronghold! Don’t worry either cus their front door is all pretty and pink like you’d expect it to be and has arrows pointing to it, so you’ll know when the level has ended. In the meantime however, the two bros will have to put up with not having access to their proppy moves, which means no whiskey! Hisao is also unable to call up his bitches and whores, who instead roam the halls and will attack the manly men on sight! These are special invincible enemies who you can’t do anything about unfortunately, with the main enemies of the stage consisting of feminists who happen to be figments of Kenji’s imagination just to make the level a challenge. Note that you’re only playing as Hisao, while Kenji will wander off and attempt to find the exit on his own if Hisao decides not to tag along right away; this has the bonus of making the level easier however in that Kenji will get rid of all the enemies for you while you can explore rooms and take items of sorts to have in the future. Providing you don’t meet any of Hisao’s bitches and whores, this level is actually a walk in the park, as it should be for a first-timer assuming this SM was actually a real game (which it totally should be :3)

Verse 1.1 End

Kenji is seen violently kicking down a door Sparta-style to what leads to the inside of the Feminists’ Stronghold; despite the rather imposing name however, the only person in the room was an clean orange-haired girl named Ayano Minegishi, who was shocked by Kenji’s overwhelmingly manly action. A moment after the action occurs Hisao is seen face-palming for Kenji’s recklessly manly action before standing beside his bro.

KENJI – Feminist scums!! Give us back the Fruit Brute you stole from us!! – Kenji pointed forward in a condemning manner which somewhat missed its mark what with he being legally blind and all. None the less, the words and gesture left their mark on the feminine female, who didn’t quite know what to say or do in the situation she was being put in. Before the manly Kenji could make an advance on Ayano however, he was interrupted by a brief flash that heralded the arrival of a new, fierce being that stood tall beside the feminine female: Invidia.

INVIDIA – You dare try to lay a finger on my Mistress!? – The voice was more than intimidating enough to force Kenji back, for although he was truly manly he had just no idea what he was up against. Hisao, on the other hand, didn’t necessarily feel that the new threat was directed at him; he had been a witness to this entire scenario however, so he knew he probably wasn’t going to get away so easily. Thus, he had to be brave and stand up for his bro and his breakfast.

HISAO – Kenji here is accusing your club of stealing our Fruit Brute; not the most believable claim, but we had to come in here anyway and prove it for good or else we’d have to go without breakfast.
INVIDIA – And it’s for a silly reason like that you decided to come in here and threaten Mistress Ayano? Why, I should pour my explosive blood down your hungry little throats right here and now!
AYANO – It’s okay, Invidia; as a matter of fact, I too suddenly found our supply of Fruit Brute gone when I checked the pantries this morning!
INVIDIA – You did Mistress Ayano? Then why didn’t you tell me this beforehand? I could have gone out with my teleportation and gotten you some to eat with your Green Tea!
AYANO – Well, I just didn’t want to worry you Invidia, that’s all. And besides, we have plenty of other American cereals in the pantry like Count Chocula and Fruit Yummy Mummy…
INVIDIA – But you do realize that Fruit Brute has FRUIT in it!?
AYANO – Yes, but so does Fruit Yummy Mummy….(actually, I never realized that before)
HISAO – Then sorry to ask, but would you be so kind as to feed us in the process? (Man, I feel like a real loser asking this of a cute girl like her…especially with that scary bitch standing next to her)
KENJI – Don’t do it Hisao my bro! It’s all lies and slander, every bit of it!
HISAO – Come on man, we’re getting free breakfast outta this. Would it kill you to eat with someone other than me?
KENJI – Why yes it would! Come on bitch, where are you!? I’ll take you down right here and now!
INVIDIA – I see your blindness extends past that of your physical perspective…if murdering you in cold explosive blood will put an end to your pathetic excuse of a life, then I shall have the honor of doing so myself.
AYANO – You don’t have to, Invidia…
INVIDIA – This is for your own good, Mistress Ayano; I’ll show you what can be accomplished by taking out the trash for once…

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Verse 1.2 Begin

Kenji VS Invidia

This battle is simple enough in that you play as Kenji without Hisao and have to go up against the fierce Invidia, where Hisao and Ayano are obviously standing in the background watching the fight. Kenji is at an obvious disadvantage without his props and access to his bro Hisao, though at the very least he only has to inflict 40% to her in order to win the fight; that means no explosive blood or use of the Down Special! The stage is very small on the other hand, only being half the size of the Battlefield stage to which Invidia could easily drag Kenji off there and kill him. Still, getting that damage on Invidia shouldn’t be all that hard.

Verse 1.2 End

Kenji is tired out from not having access to his potent manliness, while Invidia appears completely unfazed from said man’s attempts to scratch her. She merely lets out an arrogant “hmph!” and backs away…for Hisao and Ayano have already gone ahead and into some delicious Fruit Yummy Mummy cereal. Yum.

HISAO – You done yet Kenji? Just come over here and have some cereal with us so we can progress with the war.
KENJI – Fuck that shit man! I’d rather jump out of a motherfucking window and into a pit of fucking acid than eat with these bitches!
HISAO – Suit yourself.
AYANO – If I may ask, what is this “war” you’re fighting in? Does it have something to do with the retrieval of the missing Fruit Brute Cereal, because if it is we could be of some assistance to you. – That’s when Hisao realized that Ayano has jumped to the wrong conclusion when he spoke of a “war”; he wasn’t referring to the war against the fruit-napper, he was referring to to the war against feminism! Ironically enough however, the chance to acquire temporary assistance from Kenji’s mortal enemies to gain back what they desperately needed was a chance Hisao could not give up. And so he made his decision…
HISAO – We are indeed fighting against the one who took our Fruit Brute cereal, and we would gladly accept your assistance in trying to catch them.
AYANO – In that case, how about we each go around and ask if anybody’s had their Fruit Brute cereal stolen recently. We might be able to gather some clues if anyone knows anything, and from there we can proceed to tackle the real culprit.
HISAO – Sure thing.

After that, Hisao saw Kenji walk over to him via manly identification; he expected his blind bro to get up and at him for his forwardly feminine decision, but was instead given an entirely different response as Kenji leaned towards his ear to whisper something…

KENJI – Not a bad move bro. We could use this momentary truce to get a real jump on these bitched-up feminists; now all we need to do is wait for the perfect time to strike them, and then, BAM! – Hisao got a rather bad feeling in his stomach after hearing what his bro Kenji had in mind…either that or it was from the outdated Fruit Yummy Mummy he had just digested…

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Verse 1.3 Begin

It is now lunchtime, and you’re going around as Kenji and Hisao in order to find some people who know about the case of the missing Fruit Brute cereals. Naturally however, there will be a lot of people who won’t want to talk to you or won’t have any good information, though you can still go around and collect items for coolies. This is a surprisingly boring level however, with the only real enemies being the bitches and whores from the first level as well as some people who try to block your way, to which you have to attack them to get past them. Oh, and you also have a time limit, lol; if you don’t gather the information you need on time Father Time will suddenly appear and reverse time for you! Pretty cool, but you shouldn’t just intentionally lose the level intentionally just to see a cameo of one of Rool’s sets; that and the time limit is actually quite realistic so you’ve like, 45 minutes or so to waste.

Verse 1.3 End

Kenji and Hisao were now back with the feminine female Ayano and her tag-along Invidia, where they were sitting together in the Feminist Stronghold discussing what they had learned.

HISAO – We didn’t get any useful information on the case due to everyone around me being a complete asswipe.
AYANO – Then it’s a good thing I got some information from somebody by the name of “QWOP”. Apparently he saw the perpetrator load a bunch of cardboard boxes into the back of a truck with Fruit Brute’s face on it…
KENJI – You know what’s odd? I actually SAW that truck outside just before coming to this room.
HISAO – ….HOW?
AYANO – In that case, it could be worth exploring the back of the truck to see whether it has our Fruit Brute cereals stored there or not…
HISAO – Oh, by the way Ayano, shouldn’t Invidia be here with you right now?
AYANO – Actually, she’s currently attending to other matters. I’ll be the only one working with you for this case.
HISAO – Weeeeeeeeell, I was kinda counting on her being around so we could, you know, actually stand a chance at kicking the perpetrator’s ASS. And not to mention get into the back of that truck.
AYANO – Hmmm. Couldn’t you just use your Overwhelming Bropower to blast a hole through the truck?
KENJI – You’re right, I could use my Optic Blast to blast a hole in the back of the truck! (Damn, why the hell didn’t I think of using that on these bitches earlier today? Shit my memory’s getting bad)
HISAO – I guess we’re set then. (but seriously, this is stupid. How do we EVEN KNOW our Fruit Brute cereal is in that truck? And what if it’s outdated by now? Ah well, guess I can’t be thinking like a straight man at this time)

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Meanwhile, the teenaged trio managed to make their way to the back of the truck Kenji mentioned before, which he managed to blast a hole through with his Optic Blast, all without being caught by any teachers or what not. And their reward…

AYANO – Perhaps our Fruit Brute is located inside those boxes at the front of the truck there. I’ll go check for us…

Ayano climbed into the truck and opened up one of the boxes, only to be shocked at what she found inside…but before she could tell Kenji and Hisao of what she had found, the back doors of the truck suddenly slammed shut and trapped her inside! Cries of distress then ensured, indicating that Ayano was indeed in danger as the truck started up…

HISAO – AYANO! (I totally knew this was gonna happen. She’s damsel in distress INCARNATE)
KENJI – Don’t let your guard down, Hisao my bro. Remember that it WAS that bitch Ayano who provided us with the information in the first place; she probably wanted me to use my super-powerful Optic Blast to break open that truck just so she could get in!
HISAO – How could you make such a ridiculous assumption at a time like this!? She’s crying out in distress for God’s sake! We have to rescue her!
KENJI – In that case, you’re by yourself man. – Kenji started to walk away from the accelerating truck when…
HISAO – Dammit Kenji, BEHIND YOU!! 

Much to the blind bro’s horror, the truck that Ayano had been trapped in has transformed…into a HORRIFYING MONSTER! Kenji and Hisao both stepped back in caution, but neither were afraid for they were both manly!

KENJI – Let’s do this bro. This’ll be our greatest victory ever…except for when we defeat the feminists!
HISAO – I’m with you all the way! 

Now completely fired up, the two bros did their brofist from their Down Smash, which sent out a powerful shockwave that caused the beast to step back in fear, for it knew of the two men’s combined power…

! BOSS BATTLE !

YATTERYARU DEATH

HOLY FUCKING SHIT…this big bad beast is the truck of death which absorbed Ayano’s femininity and became huge! Still, you do get a demonically manly theme to go with the fight in this form of THIS.

Yatteryaru’s head alone is as large as Giga Bowser while the supporting legs sit in the background as unhurtable hitboxes, but you have the power of manliness to make up for that! Thanks to be united, you play as a full Kenji and Hisao set, but with some great buffs…all of Hisao’s bitches and whores will appear behind Yatteryaru and inflict their effect on her, with even Rin being able to stun her if you’re lucky enough to get her! Also, Kenji will automatically use his awesome punch if you attempt a manly picnic while Yatteryaru is close by, and both Kenji and Hisao have their Smash Attacks doubled in power. And yes, Yatteryaru actually takes regular knockback, stun and can be grabbed, and is massive combo-fodder to boot. Meanwhile, the stage you fight her on is rather closed, it being the inside of a docking area where there are no blast zones: instead, you have a grand total of 999HP which must be diminished before you can truly throw in the towel, but you’ll easily be done with that since Yatteryaru only has 250HP!

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Giant Hammer
Simply enough, Yatteryaru swings one of her giant feet forward as it becomes a hammer that tries to pitfall you! You also take 22%. This attack is slow for the most part and is easily dodgeable since Yatteryaru needs to form the hammer beforehand, but she does it twice as quickly if you have a manly picnic going due to she hating manly picnics in general; this is her way of punishing you for trying to spam said move to get in free and powerful punches on her.

Oh, and I should also mention that only one bro is pitfalled, even if they’re both hit by this attack. The other can be controlled and run up to Yatteyaru in order to attack her before the other is set free and runs back to their bro…just don’t let the single bro be pitfalled as well because Yatteryaru likes to take advantage of your prone state to continuously hammer you!

Scraper
Yatteryaru tries something new and scratches forth with her little claw. This inflicts jab-worthy damage but with better range, and has the same effect as the above move of only hitting on bro to which you can get the other to kick her ass while she’s trapping the other.

Crossing the Line
Yatteyaru turns her head upwards and suddenly a giant cross comes out of her mouth! This has 2 platforms worth of distance, though it’s very unlikely to hit you due to being in the air; in any case you can get some free damage in, but just don’t get hit or you’ll take 55% and be slammed into the ceiling above for 2 seconds! This can hit both bros by the way so be careful.

Spinning Claws
This time Yatteyaru extends all her arms and does a spinning attack! You’ll have to jump and footstool her body to avoid this, or else you’ll end up taking a massive 222% that really hurts the shit outta ya. Either that or you could easily crouch over it.

Space Overbeam!
Yatteryaru suddenly leans back and then fires a pink energy beam from the sky down towards you! This covers an entire SBB worth of distance and inflicts a rather meaty 180% if you’re hit by all the hits, though it can actually be shielded without harm. You just need to remember to do so.

Ball Crush
Finally, if Yatteryaru is knocked into the air, she can and will spin into a ball that bounces along the ground! She’ll attempt to bounce over Kenji and Hisao for 450% that knocks them down, though they can use their U-Smash, U-tilt or U-air to send Yatteryaru crashing into the wall above her and be slammed there for 65% that pins her there for a moment whilst allowing for the bros to do cool things!

BOSS END

Yatteryaru naturally steps back and gathers a rather concerned face from being exposed to true manliness before she gradually shrinks and vanishes into nothingness…before exploding!! This matter isn’t over yet however…

HISAO – Wait…where the hell did Ayano and that truck go?
KENJI – It’s the feminists man, the feminists. They want us to follow them to our doom, but for now we need to stay here and replenish our manliness with whiskey, the beverage of men!
HISAO – Oh yeah, since our manliness resonated we’ve got our whiskey back! And pretzels too…
KENJI – Pretzels too. Come now Kenji my bro, we need to replenish so we can continue the war against feminism…as well as find out Fruit Brute! – Kenji expected his bro Hisao to follow along with his enthusiasm, but was greeted with a sudden change of heart…
KENJI – What’s the matter man?
HISAO I’m going to find Ayano…
KENJI – Dude, you do realize that the whole thing’s a trap!?
HISAO – There are too many unanswered questions…plus we don’t know what Ayano’s true intentions are, nor what she found inside those boxes. And I’ve been thinking lately…
KENJI – Spit it out man.
HISAO – This who fiasco has marked the first time I’ve seen take any real action against feminism. Did you ever do things like that before I came to this school and met you?
KENJI – Why yes, there were horrible whores I had to take up arms against. They were far worse than that Ayano in terms of tactics, though they were far less feminine. Quite similar to that Invidia bitch for comparison.
HISAO – What if Ayano’s NOT our enemy? What if she’s simply trying to hold back the feminists?
KENJI – WHAT!? Dude, Ayano’s the most feminine female I’ve ever seen…in any case, what THE FUCK kind of reason would she have for wanting to go against her kind, let alone help US?
HISAO – Well, feminism is rather complicated; I mean, aren’t feminists supposed to be nice people? If so, then I don’t really have a reason to dislike them in the first place. From the small amount of time I’ve known her for, Ayano’s tried her best to help us out, and even volunteered to help us regain our Fruit Brute…it’s for those reasons and those only that I want to save her. Perhaps you too, will come to understand that the deepest roots of feminism are not to be feared or hated.
KENJI – You wanna go ahead and do that? Be my guest….but seriously man, I REALLY thought you were the one guy who understood me.
HISAO – …..perhaps you’re the one who doesn’t understand, Kenji.
KENJI – Whatever man. If you’re ready to come back to my side, I’ll have the whiskey and pretzels waiting for you…but for now, you can go and suck on that girl’s Green Tea! 

Kenji walked away from Hisao with his back fully turned, with both men having made up their minds. With Kenji retreating to the depths of his lonesome world, what will the manly Hisao be able to accomplish all on his own? Will be even be able to do anything? I’m sure he’ll be able to!

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N E X T   T I M E…

Invidia is seen sitting besides Princess Kraehe, mildly chuckling to herself whilst sipping on a cup of green tea before brutally tossing the unfinished thing into a wall, where both the beautifully designed up and the tea itself fall to the floor in a crumpled mess…

INVIDA – With that damned bitched and arrhythmic out of the way, the Feminists can finally take some action and do what they’ve longed to do for many years: defeat their ultimate enemy and take over the world! 

With that sinister sentence, Invidia got off her chair as the area around her turned dark, with many horrifying shadows with peering red eyes forming behind her…their target: Kenji.

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Responses

  1. Just a few notes about this SM and my style in general:

    1. “Chaptre” is not a un-intended spelling error. I put it there because it sounds way cooler than plain old chapter.
    2. I am basing all the characters’ characterization of THEIR SETS, not their real character; this makes perfect sense as it’d obviously be impossible for any one MYMer to understand the proper character and source materials of all characters in MYM11, let alone every set ever made, and certain movesets tend to bring a certain kind of “characterization” for their character. This rule also applies to any characters I’d know more about than what I’ve told MYMers in their set; I can and will only put information in that’s in the actual set. EXAMPLE: When Puella Magi lose all of their Soul Gem power and fall to despair, they become Witches in the canon. In Kyubey’s moveset however, they’re instead KO’ed, and Kyubey actively tries to make this happen where in the canon he wouldn’t resort to doing such a thing despite it being his intention to actually make the Puella Magi become a Witch. So while I know that in reality the “KO’ed” victim should really become a Witch, the uninformed reader would not know any better, so instead here for simplicity and MYM’s sake, were Kyubey to be put in this SM he’d stick to the characterization given in his set rather than in the canon of Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
    3. If you for some reason would want someone you really really like and think is awesome to appear, I have the power to make it happen! Isn’t that awesome?


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