Posted by: masterwarlord | August 5, 2012

The Machine Orthodoxy – Chapter 1

Skipping an arbitrary prologue, BOWSER is the first character seen in the Story Mode, dropping down from some off-screen area to cause a tremor and make the Toads in the middle of Toad Town flee, causing the mighty Koopa King to let out a hearty laugh. IGGY, LEMMY, and BOWSER JR jump out of some bushes and snarl, making considerably less menacing appearances, though the Toads helpeless as they are run anyway. Bowser goes over to his kids and swishes out his arms, shaking his head. “Nonono, you’re doing it all wrong! Being a good villian’s all about presentation, make an entrance, see?”.

Bowser Jr. puts his hands on his hips. “How am I supposed to go and do that with these other two weighing me down, dad?”.

Iggy snarls. “I was going to try to actually enter this place with some stealth, but dad had to go and ruin that.”

Bowser snorts. “Stealth to fight Toads? You ain’t no son of mine if-“

Iggy hastily interrupts him. “The sooner the Toads know we’re here the sooner the Mario brothers do.”

Bowser stomps with slight annoyance. “What’d I tell you about correctin’ your old man? Why I oughta-“

KAMEK comes down from off camera on his broomstick clears his throat. “Relax, your highness. He’s wrong anyway. The Chain Chomps we released into Koopa Village a few hours earlier should be enough to distract them.”

Bowser folds his arms. “Fine! Let’s just go get the princess.”

***

Level 1: Peach’s Castle

Characters: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Iggy, Lemmy, Kamek (4 stock)

Music: Super Bowser Bros.

This is a very basic level, with most of the Toads doing little to inhibit you, though you’ll find the occasional Koopa or what-not who is not affiliated with Bowser, and the Toad Guard enemies with the spears become much more common once you reach Peach’s castle (There is a very brief bit of Toad Town before it). Regardless, most of the more difficult aspects of the level come from platforming, and while some of the blocks contain giant mushrooms in the level others contain poison ones.

Peach’s castle is based off the Mario 64 incarnation more-so than Paper Mario’s, and very early on in it you’ll have to go down the castle’s secret slide without getting knocked off by the Toad Guards – a rude wake-up call for somebody who’s attempting to power through the level with Iggy’s chariot. The rest of the level is largely uphill, and ends with a very long section at the end to immiate the endless stairs, with more and more enemies spawning higher up above you as you go and the occasional Poison Mushroom being slid down in your direction.

***
The Koopa Troop enters a new room to find it hosting a good deal of Toad soldiers. Kamek goes to prepare some magic, but Bowser holds him back and nods at him before Kamek nods back, letting his children do the fighting. The camera first shows Lemmy launching a bouncy ball at a Toad successfully, causing him to laugh at him, but the toad’s spear then pops the ball he’s riding on, causing it to deflate. The ball he threw at the first Toad then rebounds off the wall and hits him in the face painfully. The camera cuts to Iggy dodging around some Toads successfully and launching a single magic blast at one of them, but he then does his taunt where he smacks his ass, causing him to end up getting stabbed by a spear and run around holding his buttocks in pain.

The camera cuts back to Bowser and Kamek watching, with Bowser’s hand over his face. Kamek, impatient, asks Bowser “Can I end this yet?”.

Bowser looks intently as his face turns into a smirk. “Not yet, Kamek. Let’s see what my –REAL- son can do. . .”

The camera cuts to Bowser Jr making an elaborate paint pattern across the floor, causing Kamek to ask Bowser “What’s he doing? Spreading graffiti around the castle?”.

“Oh no. I didn’t steal him back that paintbrush for nothing!”. With the camera never having cut away from Bowser Jr, he proceeds to summon a large piranha plant goop monster, which mortifies the toad guards before it envelops them in goop and starts easily knocking them all out. Bowser applauds his son. “Bravo, son, bravo!”.

Bowser Jr. takes a bow. “Awww, y’know I learned from the best, dad!”.

“Yeah, you’re the spittin’ image of me? Not like some –other- Koopalings I know. . .”. Bowser glares at Iggy and Lemmy for them to roll their eyes.

Bowser Jr. gets up in Lemmy’s face. “Don’t roll your eyes when King Koopa is talking to you! You could learn a thing or two from me!”.

Lemmy suddenly nods and gets a goofy grin. “Yeah, come to think of it, there –IS- something I can learn from you!”

“Wuzzat?”. Lemmy suddenly trips Jr’s legs out from under him, causing Jr. to instantly start crying as he starts pounding on the floor, pointing at Lemmy. “Daddy, punish him!”. The camera focuses on Bowser Jr. whining a bit longer before fading into Bowser himself as a baby doing the same thing, before cutting to Kamek’s reaction to Bowser Jr.

Following in –his- footsteps is far from a –GOOD- thing. . .”.

Bowser groans. “If there’s one thing you needa work on, it’s growing a spine! Nobody ever did anything for me, I’ll have you know!”

The camera cuts to a look of Kamek’s face and his eye twitching, then shows a brief montage of Baby Bowser abusing Kamek, ending with Bowser Jr. throwing an old diaper at Kamek’s face before it fades back into the current Kamek’s expression, equally as deadpan. “Let’s just fetch your stupid princess, shall we?”

Bowser laughs, patting Kamek on the back overly hard. “Like the way you think, pal! Let’s storm the castle, bwahahahahahaa!”. Bowser runs into Peach’s private room, followed by the rest of his men, only to find her gone. Bowser starts wrecking up the place, enraged, trying to find her. “How dare Peach not be here for me to kidnap!”

While Bowser is wreaking havoc, Lemmy finds a note on Peach’s dresser. Struggling to read it, he mumbles “Dear Bowser. . .”

Bowser’s head instantly turns at this as he throws Peach’s bed across the room. “GIMME THAT!”. Bowser leaps across the room and ripping the note out of his son’s hands, cuddling it. “She wrote a note specifically for me, heh heh! She must’ve finally fallen for me!”.

Kamek’s disdain is clear in his tone. “Just read it, sire. . .”

“Dear Bowser. . .If you’re reading this, then that means that I’m on vacation because I’m tired of getting kidnapped by your smelly, grubby paws. In my absence, I leave you. . .I leave you the MARIO BROS TO ENTERTAIN YOU?!?”. Bowser burns the letter with his fire breath before stomping on the ashes.

“Sire, if you’re quite finished, we have more pressing concerns!”

“What could POSSIBLY be more important than-GACK!”

The camera zooms out from Bowser, where it was previously focusing on him, to showcase that Mario has grabbed Bowser’s tail (And Luigi is fighting the others in the background). Mario proceeds to spin him around, proclaiming “So long-gay Bowser!” before throwing him out the window. He turns to the Koopalings for them to just cowardly run out of the building with their father, along with Kamek who is seen groaning.

Cutting outside, Bowser, still slumped over on his stomach on the castle grounds, yells at Kamek. “You! You hold them off while we escape, got it?”

Kamek is outraged. “Me?!? How do you possibly expect me to-“

“You don’t have my blood running in you, so you’re most expendable! Don’t question your king!”

Bowser and the Koopalings go to run off while Kamek floats innocently on his broomstick. Kamek’s eye twitches somewhat at this as he attempts to follow his king’s commands as the Mario Bros. approach him, but then 2 CHAIN CHOMPs jump out of the building after the Mario Bros, one latching onto Luigi’s pants. Mario facepalms and goes to help his brother before Kamek grins. “Yes! Those Chomps from Koopa Village must’ve followed them here! Maybe they weren’t so useless after all. . .”.

***

Level 2: Castle Grounds

Characters: Kamek (1 Stock)

Music: Mario and Luigi – Boss

This is one of those enemy levels where you must hold out for a long period of time, in this case 5 minutes. Enemies from the previous level will regularly come, and mushrooms still spawn en mass in both varieties. The mushrooms can affect Mario and Luigi, who are “sub-bosses” in that they have about 5 different generic attacks and even a team-up attack, and they take damage and knockback like regular characters. When they are killed, they will respawn about 20 seconds later. The Toad guard quantity also gets quite high, scarily so later into the 5 minutes.

Of course, you have 2 Chain Chomp allies to help you, and them being hooked to their posts in the ground makes them largely invulnerable. You can use your stage alterations to trap characters to fight against these Chomps, what with them being far more effective than the minions in your moveset. The chomps are vulnerable to the mushrooms, and while giant chomps are very advantageous they are too stupid to avoid Poison Mushrooms. If necessary, you may need to alter the stage to block them off from a Poison Mushroom coming their way, as if the Chomps die they never come back.

***

The scene opens up with Kamek entering his king’s castle, beaten up and soaked due to it raining/thundering outside late at night. He scoffs at the Koopatroll guards who glare at him as he walks past them. “Got a problem?”.

We cut to him entering the throne room for Bowser to let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, there you are, Kamek. . .”

Kamek smiles slightly at Bowser showing some actual concern. “Yes, I-“

Kamek is interrupted by a diaper being thrown in his face, him wiping it off before having the same blank expression as before. Bowser goes on non-chalantly like it’s nothing. “Thought I’d have to change Jr.’s diapers myself, heh heh! Good thing you showed up!”.

Kamek sighs before going to go do the dirty work, the camera cutting to him leaving the room. He has a monologue as he starts walking down the stairway. “Even after all I’ve done for him. . .Raised him up from a baby and tolerated everything he’s done to me, still, he treated me like crap. It was one thing then, because King Morton led the Koopa Troop, and he was but a child. . .But now, putting up with his horrible leadership is just inexcusable. The Koopa Troop took a nosedive once –Bowser- inherited the throne. He’s more concerned with just getting the princess for his own petty desires than actually conquering the kingdom. . .He needs to go. Not just for my sake, but for all of Koopa kind. . .”

Kamek chuckles out loud as he goes to go back outside into the rain. The camera fades out and back in to show Kamek holding a bag of money and dangling it in front of WARIO’s face. “And it’s all yours. All you’ve got to do is assassinate the Koopa King.”

Wario takes the bag of money and laughs. “And why should I-ah not take the money and run now, eh? You’ve-ah got no leverage!”

“I’m not stupid enough to bring it all with me. It’s a down payment. Half now, half once the dark deed is done.”

Wario’s eyes turn into dollar signs. “This is only half-ah the money, yous-ah sayin’? Oh you’ve got yourself a deal!”

“You’re sure you can do this by yourself. . .?”

“Of course!”. Wario lifts up a Bob-omb. “You let me in, I sneak past-a those incompetent guards in their sleep, then I blow him up with this! All too easy for the great Wario! Wahahahahahahahaha!”

“You think a mere Bob-omb is enough to kill him? He may not be the brightest, but he is admittedly incredibly strong. . .”

Wario flexes one muscle. “And so am I, Magikoopa! If that LOSER Mario is able to beat-ah him up all the time, then it should be easy for Wario.”

The camera cuts back to Bowser’s fortress, as Wario stealthily comes in with Kamek as he lowers the drawbridge. He then re-splits up from Kamek and greedily rubs his hands together. “And to boot, I get the added bonus of all the loot in the Koopa treasury!”

***

Level 3: Bowser’s Fortress

Characters: Wario (3 Stock)

Music: Siege on Bowser’s Castle

This is not a stealth based level in that the enemies will not summon more of themselves upon you being detected, but you have the luxury of many of the enemies starting out to be asleep. The Koopatrolls though, when sliding about in their shells, will cause any other enemies they roll past to awaken, so taking them out first when you start fighting them is important, or at least baiting them away from other enemies.

The level is quite large with multiple branching paths, and you must collect 4 out of 5 caches of gold before reaching the end of the level or else Wario will refuse to proceed. Two of the rooms with cash in them are guarded by a very large quantity of enemies, two are largely deathtraps, and the last one gives you a long vertical platforming ascension, where you must reach the top using Wario’s Up Special (Puffy Wario) and avoid contact with everything on the way up, less you get sent back to the bottom and have to start over.

***

The cutscene after the level shows Wario outside Bowser’s bedroom, hauling around a fairly large amount of money. He creeks open the door and looks at the slumbering Bowser before closing the door, then swats his hand. “Naaaaaaaaaah. I’ve got more than enough money from this castle, and that Magikoopa probably was gonna pay me with it.” Wario grins as he looks down at the Bob-Omb he brought with him. “I’ll just use my instant escape route. . .”. Wario throws the Bob-Omb at the wall to make an exit, causing the camera to cut to Bowser’s face and show him waking up in alarm.

Bowser runs out of his room and goes over to the hole in the wall, and looks out of it to see Wario already jumped out the window. Bowser roars angrily before going to Bowser Bomb Wario out the window. Wario looks above himself and lets out a cartoony expression of fear before throwing another Bob-Omb into the castle wall, pulling himself inside and fleeing. Bowser grabs it as well and goes in after Wario, for the two to find themselves in the typical 2D Bowser fight arena, with the bridge and the axe. Bowser pulls a lever to block Wario’s exit and smacks his fists together, chuckling, while Wario rolls up his sleeves. . .

***

Brawl: Wario (1 stock) Vs. Bowser (1 stock)

Music: Super Mario World Bowser Boss

This takes place on Bowser’s 3 Vs. 1 stage listed in the boss moveset, AKA the Super Mario Bros. fight which has shamelessly been reused en mass. While Bowser does not get his more generic 3v1 boss buffs that are common to most bosses, the portion of the changelog where Kupa begins showcasing interactions with the stage are applied to Bowser for this fight, making this about as difficult as a regular boss fight.

***

Wario goes to do hi ssignature shoulder charge into Bowser. Bowser goes to block, but is knocked back with impressive force, not expecting Wario to have such strength. While Bowser is still on his stomach, Wario goes to ground pound him, but Bowser rolls over so that Wario impales his buttocks on his spiked shell. While Wario is rubbing his ass in pain, Bowser goes to grab the axe at the end of the stage and cuts the bridge, causing Wario to flee to the opposite end of the bridge before he falls in the lava. Reaching the other end, Wario jumps at the wall and wall kicks off it before just barely grabbing onto a chain hanging from the ceiling. Wario clumsily climbs up onto it to get a better grip, struggling due to his weight. Bowser, seeing this moment of weakness, laughs and throws the axe at Wario. Wario goes to swing on the chain to avoid it, but the axe nicks him and catches him by back of his shirt, pinning him against the wall.

Bowser yells at Wario in a very menacing voice. “Who sent you?!”

“Yous-ah know me, Bowser. All I wanted was-ah your money! I was running low! If you let-ah me live, I promise I’ll-“

Bowser clears his throat. “I said. . .”. Bowser proceeds to massively raise his voice. “WHO SENT YOU?!?”.

Wario is somewhat shook up by this, but regains his composure and thinks rationally. “If I don’t rat out Kamek, he may be able to help me get out of here. . .Do what you’re gonna do, but I won’t talk. The only thing I’ll talk to here is money!.

Bowser snorts. “We’ll see about that.”. Bowser looks down at the entrance to the room at the other side to see several Koopatrolls have arrived. “What are you standing around for?! Take him to the dungeon! We’ll interrogate him tomorrow after I get some damn sleep.”

***

VEGETA and NAPPA are seen walking together through Frieza’s giant space station. Nappa turns over to look at Vegeta. “Can’t believe we’re getting wasted on another easy mission like this. Just killing some Mushroom people and turtles.”

Vegeta doesn’t bother turning to look at Nappa. “It’s almost like they’re –taunting- us sending us out on a pitiful mission like this. This should be a job for the privates, not us Saiyan elites.”

“Eh, if it’s so easy, least we might be able to have some fun while we’re there, since we’ve got all kinds of time for the mission. Y’know, test the planet out for Frieza, if ya know what I mean?”. Nappa grins.

“Yes, yes, Nappa. Once we’re done with the planet you can get high on shrooms all you want.”

Nappa scowls, but doesn’t say anything, as they’ve reached the docking bay of the ship. They get into their pods before punching in the coordinates to the Mushroom world into their pods, then fly away. This has all been shown inside of Vegeta’s pod, before Nappa pops up in a video chat on Vegeta’s display. “Ugh. Planet’s so far away and I haven’t even had lunch yet.”

“Well that’s your problem, then, isn’t it? Just go into stasis.”

“I was thinking we could spend a little time looking at the data for the planet first.”

“What part of turtles and mushroom people do you not get?”

“Fair enough, but I-.”. Vegeta cuts the channel with Nappa before pressing a button to cause gas to get shot into the pod, putting him into a deep slumber. The camera then shows a brief shot of the two pods flying off in outer space.

***

Kamek is seen walking through a graveyard. “Can’t believe I gave Wario all of that money for nothing. So incompetent. . .And all of that money I was squirreling away is back in Bowser’s personal treasury to squander away again. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.”. The camera, having been previously fairly close to Kamek, zooms out and pans to be behind Kamek to showcase him in front of Luigi’s Mansion. He knocks on the door for no answer, before knocking much louder. “King Boo? I know you’re in there! I have a proposition for you!”. Still no response, Kamek knocks again before a random Boo comes out and attempts to scare Kamek before Kamek just bashes him in the face with his wand, causing him to hold his face in pain and flee. “Don’t be childish, King Boo. Just come out and let’s settle this like adults. . .”. After no answer, Kamek sighs and launches his signature shape beam projectile at the door to phase it away, then enters.

***

Level 4: Luigi’s Mansion

Characters: Kamek (5 stock)

Music: Monstrous Turtles

An extraordinarily long level, considering how much established territory it has to show off. Several of the named portrait ghosts show up as “hazards” through several of the rooms – and these listed rooms are just the notable ones – there are plenty others, with things like libraries of animated books and killer Pianos. Weston is the first ghost you will encounter, whom simply has an uphill room filled with icy platforming you must pass, attempting to attack you directly to make you trip and fall down the slippery staircase while icicles randomly fall from the ceiling. Occasionally, he’ll pull a Yukon and attempt to impale you with his pickaxe, dealing the largest knockback in this room.

Chauncey the infant ghost is second. He has a more elaborate obstacles course than Weston, with animated (Respawning) teddy bear minions, 2 giant rocking horses of death, and probably most deadly 3 bouncing balls that deal tremendous knockback. They would not be such a huge threat if they weren’t solid, which means dodging them will just delay you getting hit briefly. They can be attacked to reflect them, but this only boosts their momentum as they bounce around the room. Chauncey himself launches several weak projectiles at you from the other end of the room, and if any bouncy balls come his way he’ll redirect them specifically at you, boosting their momentum very slightly.

Mr. Luggs is third, and spins his dinner table around en mass when you reach his room, slamming it down if you attempt to simply go under it, belching flaming coments down at you all the while. Waiter ghosts will attempt to grab you to serve you to Luggs, but considering Luggs is at the other side of the room this can actually be beneficial to get past the spinning table and all the various flinching hitboxes (The food) on said table. Just be ensure to grab escape before you get eaten for ridiculous knockback.

Jarvis is fourth, and is seen taunting you by levitating a key to a blatantly locked door next to himself at all times. There are 6 jars in the large room, with some even being on some higher up platforms (Though thankfully the camera is zoomed enough to see everything at once). He will mostly spam generic weak projectiles at you, and will flee to another jar further away from you via teleportation when you reach him or a projectile comes close. While his jars are destructible with 40 HP, each jar you attack will be become a usable weapon by him, him levitating it at you regularly, or in the least turning it invisible and changing its’ position (If the fight goes on long enough, both, with the jar remaining invisible even if used as a weapon). Jarvis has 50 HP that must be depleted, and for a character with no projectiles he’d be literally impossible to defeat. Kamek, however, can launch a projectile to Jarvis’ current location to make him flee then hit him with a melee attack as he comes out of another jar, should Kamek accurately predict Jarvis. When Jarvis reaches 20 HP, he will start using one jar you have not yet attacked as a weapon, and will gain two new attacks. The ability to flip jars upside down and slam them down to grab you for some damage and make you grab escape at double grab difficulty, and a large, slow, lingering projectile that can actually KO things (Though ramming jars into you can KO at 100%+).

Boolossus is last and must be actually defeated to proceed. He acts largely like a giant more powerful version of a normal Boo. As you attack him, regular Boos will be knocked out of him, but if they go back to the main body they will re-add themselves to his mass, meaning you must kill them individually. 15 Boos make up Boolossus’ body. If you turn him into nothing but regular Boos, they will be unable to reform, but will try one last ditch attack where they surround you and make a giant flaming hitbox overlapping you, that does more damage and knockback with more Boos. With 4 Boos, it deals 30% and knockback that kills Kamek at 75%.

***

Kamek is seen running out of a room and slamming the door behind him, breathing in and out very heavily. The horde of Boos that were chasing him simply phase through the door though, Kamek having forgotten that tiny little detail. “Look! All I want to do is talk to your leader! That’s –ALL-!”. The Boos flail their tongues about as they continue chasing after Kamek, ignoring him, but the sound of clapping hands is heard from off screen, causing all the Boos to stop in place immediately before the camera cuts to KING BOO.

“That’s enough. We’ve had more than enough fun with him already.”

“. . .Are you meaning to say you knew I was here the entire time?”

“Obviously.”

Kamek starts pointing in random directions as he stutters. “But why, how did, what reason could-“

“We don’t get visitors often, Kamek. Did you really not expect me to take advantage of it, get a good laugh? You should’ve seen your face – you were crying more than even little Chauncey!”

“Glad you enjoyed that torture, you sadist. . .”

“Oh come now, you’re not truly harmed, are you? We ghosts are just looking for a good scare, that’s all. Of course, the psychological damage might not ever go away. . .”. King Boo laughs, his tongue flailing about as he does so.

“I’ve seen more than my share in my time, King Boo. . .”. King Boo continues laughing. “Are you quite finished?”.

King Boo finally stops laughing, pushing away a tear from his eye due to him laughing so hysterically. “How old are you now, Kamek? You really should get a sense of humor before you kick the bucket. You’ll be one of us soon, you know. . .”

“Indeed. . .And I have some unfinished business to take care of before I die. I promised King Morton that I’d raise a true king fit to take the Koopa Throne and take over the Mushroom Kingdom. It’s obvious to me now that Bowser is –not- that Koopa.”

“My my my, whatever gave you that idea, Kamek? In any case, why are you talking to –me- about this?”

“I can already tell, coming through your mansion, that you’re running a far better army than he could ever hope to. What if I told you that I’d be willing to give YOU the title of King of the Koopas? No idea how I said that with a straight face. . .”.

“King Boo the Koopa King? A bit redundant, but not a bad title, if I do say so myself. . .Out of curiosity, what made you come to me, specifically?”

“Don’t think word of Bowser appearing here back when you captured Mario hadn’t reached us, King Boo. I want to know just what exact kind of illusion you used. . .”

“Oh, is that all? It wasn’t an illusion, it was a mech. I built it with the intention of Bowser taking the blame for Mario’s kidnapping, so we wouldn’t make enemies of the Mario family.”

“We all know how well that went. . .Would you mind showing it to me?”

King Boo shrugs. “I suppose, if you’re so very interested. Just grab ahold of me and I’ll phase you there.”

Kamek sighs and touches King Boo with a single finger, rolling his eyes and looking the other way. King Boo then phases Kamek through the ground to a pitch black room. A demonic face becomes visible, causing Kamek to shriek before King Boo phases him back up to the surface and laughs hysterically again. “This robot had –BETTER- be worth all of this. . .”.

King Boo forces himself to stop laughing pre-maturely. “It will, it will. . .”. King Boos grabs Kamek again and phases him through a wall, showcasing the remains of the Bowser robot used as the final boss of Luigi’s Mansion, albeit decapitated. “Needs a bit of spit and polish, but with enough work it’d be fully functional again.”

Kamek gapes in awe at the robot. “It. . .It looks exactly like him! This blows that crappy mech the Koopa Bros constructed out of the water!”. He lets out a quick devilish chuckle.

“We have a fair few experienced engineers among the dead. It’s not hard.”

“So how soon could you have it ready by?”

“I have an entire army at my command. It would only take a few hours, I just haven’t had a use for it since the incident. So. . .Out of curiosity, what do you intend to use it for?”

“Oh, it’s very simple. I lure Bowser out of the castle with promises of Princess Peach in the middle of the night, what with being his trusted advisor, and you walk in with the mech and take control of the castle.”

“Not bad, but I’d really rather not keep up a puppet government. . .Sounds rather boring.”

“Well it’s not like –I- want that fool’s name attached to the Kingdom anyway. After we establish the real Bowser as the imposter, I will challenge him for leadership of the Koopa Troop, and you will intentionally lose.”

King Boo enlarges to a very large proportion and his voice changes briefly, bordering on demonic. “But you said –I- was going to be in charge of the Koopa Troop!”

Kamek tugs at his shirt nervously. “Forgot about that little tidbit. . .Look, I’ll make a much stronger alliance between the Boos and the Koopa Troop. Whatever resources you need, we’ll supply them.”

King Boo rubs his hypothetical chin in thought. “Any prisoners you capture or traitors in your ranks, I want. We’re in desperate need of victims to scare.”

“No problems there. You’d be better security than the Koopatrolls anyway.”

“I want at least 20 people per month. If it’s not met, expect me to abduct your men to make up for it.”

Kamek scratches the back of his neck, slightly hesitant before replying. “Well, with Bowser’s incompetent leadership out of the way and me in charge, we should be able to take over the Mushroom Kingdom fine anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

King Boo rubs his hands together eagerly, licking his lips, then extends out a hand to Kamek. “Oh, that is –SO- a deal I’ll take.

Kamek goes to shake with King Boo. “Come with the mech tomorrow at midnight. . .”

***

The opening shot of the cutscene is of some various Mushroom Kingdom themed constellations, not unlike those seen on Mario Kart 64 Rainbow Road. A condescending voice is heard as it goes past them each individually.

“The flipped Koopa, the little Twhomp, the big Thwomp. . .And now for the. . .Wait, where –is- the Toadstool constellation? What’s this –nonsense- in the way?!”. The camera shows a giant futuristic telescope/cannon before MARVIN THE MARTIAN comes out from behind it into view, stopping his looking through the telescope and going to look at what’s in the way directly. Upon seeing the overly large planet, Marvin turns his hands into fists and visibly trembles in anger. “That makes me –very- angry! Very angry INDEED!”.

Marvin starts walking away from the telescope and walking about his mobile space station, flailing his hands about in frustration. “Now who would have the nerve to go and put their planet in the way of my view? It’s simply outrageous! Maddening!”. Marvin eventually stops walking in the other direction and starts pacing back and forth, scratching his non-existent chin with his index finger. “What to do, what to do. . .I mean, that’s just –RUDE-.”. Marvin stops pacing and raises his index finger in triumph, having found his idea. “Oh, I know, I’ll just blow the planet up!”. Marvin puts his hands to his non-existent mouth to increase the volume of his voice. “K-9? K-9?”. Marvin whistles for his trusty dog stereotypically before he arrives in front of Marvin, giving a salute so hastily it almost knocks off the dog’s helmet in the process. “Oh, good, there you are. Now then. . .”. Marvin rubs his hands together as he gets his intimidating eyes for a close-up. “Begin construction on the next Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.”

***

Wario is seen in a cell in Bowser’s dungeon, picking his nose in boredom. Bowser comes down to him, along with 4 Koopatrolls, causing Wario to hastily stop picking his nose and turn to look at his captors. “I already-ah told you, I’m not gonna talk. Though if Kamek doesn’t show up soon, I could be convinced otherwise. . .”,

Bowser chuckles. “Don’t worry, Wario. I wasn’t gonna bother trying to interrogate you before the torture. Would be a waste of both your time, and far more importantly MY time.”

“Time you could be spending failing to kidnap the princess?”. Wario laughs before getting Bowser’s fist smack dab in the middle of his face, knocking him into the wall and making an indent. The Koopatrolls grab him and proceed to drag him out, dragging Wario against the floor.

The Koopa King takes Wario through the castle before motioning to a certain door. The Koopatrolls throw Wario in, him looking around hastily in every single direction. . .Except up. Upon looking up, it’s too late, as a Whomp has already collapses on top of him. This squashes Wario into a pancake “Flat Wario”, before he pops back into his regular self. This is repeated several more times with the footage getting sped up before the Koopatrolls go to retrieve Wario. “Feel like talking now?”. Wario is too dizzy to respond, so Bowser shrugs. “Suit yourself.”. Dragging him along further, they reach the room where Bowser and Wario originally fought. “Maybe a nice soothing lava bath will bring you to your senses?”. Bowser laughs before throwing Wario into the pit, causing him to bounce out in a comical fashion with his ass on fire. Wario runs back and forth with his pants on fire before eventually being completely covered in soot in a cartoony fashion.

The Koopatrolls next drag Wario into a room with a metal grid floor. The camera moves so that we can see what’s inside the grid, showing a pit filled with Chain Chomps. The Koopatrolls go to open up the entrance to the pit, and Bowser takes Wario from the Koopatrolls before dangling him over the pit. “Any last words? Like, say, oh, I dunno, your employer?”.

Wario swallows the lump in his throat before going to a more serious face. “I told you I’d never talk and I meant it, Bowser! Do your worst!”.

“Obliged.” Bowser throws Wario down into the pit and laughs at him, leaving Wario unguarded in true Bond villain fashion.

***

Level 5: Bowser’s Dungeon

Characters: Wario (4 stock)

Music: SMW Bowser’s Castle Metal Mix

You start in a room with 5 playable Chain Chomps, the single biggest danger of the level, immediately. You have to escape up through the top entrance where you were thrown down, and when you do reach that point you have to evade being spiked back down into the pit immediately by the 4 Koopatrolls there waiting for you. What’s better is once you’re done with that, you still have a full, difficult level to go through.

The level largely consists of Super Mario World style grating, with portions where you can flip through to the other side. If you attempt to use your Up Special to get to the top, you’ll likely be hit by the Koopatrolls patrolling the grating, considering your limited movement in Puffy Wario form. The grating  will also take you into more torture areas with Chain Chomps, though at the very most you’ll only enter a room with 3, and these rooms are more easy to exit than the one at the start, seeing you just need to get to some more grating to escape. Just beware of the fact that Koopatrolls can attack you from the opposite side of grating you’re on, while you can’t do the same. Occasionally there’s some lava in-between the grating, not a problem, but the lava balls that go up and down in these lava pits are typically quite annoying. At the end of the level, you enter a cage with a Whomp (An immortal enemy seen in level 3 and here) and 2 Chomps. Whomps are solid, and you must reach the top of the Whomp (Double Ganon’s height) to ride it to reach the top of the room and get out of the level, with the Chomps nipping at your heels.

***

Iggy is seen over some lava nearby the grated area in his chariot, riding in it while a Chain Chomp (Seemingly unaffected by the lava) pulls him through it, having the time of his life. Two Koopatrolls pass by over the top of the grate. One whispers to the other. “How the –hell- does he do that?”

“Beats me. The guy’s a psycho.”

“Guess their personalities match then. . .”

The Koopatrolls leave the area before Wario is seen carefully making his way across the grates, sweating like a pig. Iggy chuckles to himself. “Must be my lucky day. . .Time for some target practice. Chompers, fetch!”. Iggy points to Wario for the Chomp to rampage across the lava to Wario’s position. Wario hastily goes to get inside a grated area, thinking himself safe once he gets inside. However; the Chomp just rampages through it, making a giant gaping hole in its’ wake.

***

Brawl: Iggy (1 stock) Vs. Wario (1 stock)

Music: NSMB Wii Koopaling Fight

Nothing particularly notable about this fight. You start with the Chain Chomp Chariot already out/you sitting in it. While Wario cannot gimp you traditionally, there are lava pits on the side of the stage, meaning he can just keep sending you into the lava to damage rack you before KOing you with a normal KO move. In addition, Wario has a slight advantage to make up for this in that there is a ceiling thanks to the grating, making his Up Special recovery much, much better, making it essentially a perfect recovery.

***

Wario is seen getting chomped up badly by a Chomp in shadow as Iggy watches, before Iggy eventually shrugs. “Eh, that’s enough, chompers. Here, go fetch!”. Iggy throws his wand off into the distance, causing Chomp to leave Wario be. Iggy approaches Wario and chuckles. “That’s what you get for trying to escape from the Koopa Troop!”

Wario groans and gets up. “Look, I don’t have any reason to tell you who hired me to kill your father. If I do tell-ah you, you’ll just kill me, because I won’t have any use for you.”

“Oh don’t worry, Wario, I’m more sensible than my father. I know how to make you talk. . .”. Iggy takes out a bag of cash, causing Wario’s jaw to drop. Wario immediately goes to grab it, but Iggy holds him down with one claw as Wario stupidly runs at it anyway, ignoring the claw, as Iggy holds the bag out of range of Wario’s grasp. “Who sent you?”

“Now yous-ah speakin’ my language! It was Kamek! Kamek I tell ya! He put me up to it, now just give me the money!”

Iggy lets go of Wario and casually drops the bag of money to the ground, causing Wario to grab the bag of money and kiss it en mass. “Iiiiiiiiinteresting. . .”. Iggy drums his fingers against each other as grinning, then leaves the area.

Some Koopatrolls come to seize Wario shortly after Iggy leaves, separating Wario from his love. “Noooooooononononono! Not that! Take my freedom, my life, but not my money!”

***

Iggy is seen walking into Lemmy’s room, who is practicing some circus act, jumping through a ring of flame on his ball routinely. “What is it, Iggy?”

Iggy gives a brief inspection of the room. “Anybody here, Lemmy?”

Lemmy, still having a goofy grin, tilts his head to the side. “No, nobody, why?”.

“. . .This is. . .Serious, Lemmy.”

Lemmy’s grin fades immediately. “Oh.”. Lemmy hops off his ball and approaches Iggy to look at him face to face.

“I just figured out that the assassin who was hired to kill father was paid off by –Kamek-.”

“Oh? Well what’re you telling me for? We should go tell king dad!”

Iggy facepalms. “Don’t you see, Lemmy? This is our chance to finally be free of that old tyrant!”

Lemmy frowns. “Well, I dunno, bro, he is our dad. . .”

“So what if he is? The only one of us he cares about is Jr.! You know that! He’s always been setting up –him- to take the throne!”

“Why’s he even like him, anyway? Is it because he made him with Peach?”

Iggy shudders. “. . .You do realize that’s not even physically possible, right? Probably because he sucks up to him the most. In any case, I don’t care why, all I care about is the fact that it’s not –us-.”

“Yeah! We’re stronger and cooler than Jr. could ever be! Can Jr. do –THIS-?!”. Lemmy gets back on his ball and goes to leap through the ring of fire again, but trips once out and falls on his face, getting run over by his own ball. Lemmy takes it in stride and laughs at his misfortune, Iggy forcing himself to chuckle along weakly, rolling his eyes.

“Besides, with dad out of the way, we don’t have to go off to kidnap the princess just to get beaten up by those obese Italians!”

“Yeah! I don’t wanna take over the Mushroom Kingdom! All I wanna do is perfect my act!”

“Oh don’t worry, Lemmy, with him out of the way. . .”. Iggy puts an arm around his brother, and extends out the other to the sky. “You’ll be a star! Own the biggest circus in the kingdom!”

Lemmy laughs stupidly a bit. “So, uuuuhhhh. . .How do we beat him?”

“That’s where our good friend Kamek comes in. . .”

***

Lemmy and Iggy enter Kamek’s room to find him sound asleep, regardless of it being the middle of the day outside. Lemmy and Iggy go up to Kamek’s bedside, giggling like immature children, before Lemmy licks his finger and gives Kamek a wet willy. This causes Kamek to let out yet another scream as he wakes up in a rush, infuriated. “WHEN YOUR FATHER FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS HE’LL-“

Iggy waves his finger. “Ah ah ah. He’s not –going- to find out about this. You’re sleeping in –awfully- late, Kamek. Just where were you last night?”

“I. . .I was. . .Exhausted from having to hold back the Mario Bros. so you lot could get back to the kingdom! What do you expect?!”

“A nice cover-up, but it’s. . .What, 3 PM now? I don’t care how exhausted you were.”

“Well. . .You see, your father and I are going to be running an important. . .-Errand-, late tonight, and I’m getting my sleep in advance so I can be wide awake then. Damn those Boos. . .

Lemmy hops up eagerly next to Iggy. “When are you going to tell him? When, when?”

Iggy folds his arms. “I’m getting to that. . .”. He turns back to Kamek. “But yes, let’s cut this chit chat. Wario ratted you out – we know you were the one who hired him. If you don’t want us to tell King Dad. . .We want you to let us in on this little deal of yours. You’re going to make –us- the new kings.”

“Oh, yes. Take out Bowser from power so his children with his abominable DNA can take the throne. . .Look, if you do that, I’ll just teleport out of here and help the Mario Brothers overthrow him for –good-.”

Iggy frowns. “Fine then, you got a counter offer?”

Kamek sighs. “You’ll be the highest ranking members of the Koopa Troop after King Boo and I. Is that enough to satisfy your childish greed?”

“So King Boo’s in on this too, huh? You must really know what you’re doing. . .”

“I’m no fool, Ignatius. Now then, here’s the plan. . .”

***

Vegeta and Nappa’s space pods are seen traveling through space again for a few seconds before they crash land. . .Not on a planet, but on Marvin’s space station. Vegeta hobbles out of his pod and stretches before going to Nappa’s pod to find he hasn’t awakened from stasis. “NAPPA! The hell did that not wake you up?!”.

Nappa looks around frantically before seeing Vegeta and looking annoyed. “Dammit, aren’t the pods supposed to wake us up when we get to the planet?”.

“They do. You’re probably just –that- sound of a sleeper.”

Nappa grunts at Vegeta before getting up out of his pod and looks around. “. . .How is this our planet?”

“Eh? You mean this isn’t where we were sent to?”

“. . .Unlike –some- people, I actually read the mission logs. We’re supposed to have gone to some Mushroom planet, not a space station.”

“Go figure they wouldn’t give the pods good enough AI to go around crap like this. . .Not like they care, they get to use the fancy space ships!”

“So long as we keep doing a good job, we’ll finally be due for that promotion, then -we’ll- be the ones in the ships.”

“You keep on thinking that, Nappa. You’ve been here longer than I have. Hell, you were a –general- with the Saiyans. . .And yet you’re still just going on basic extermination jobs like this in pods.”

“You don’t think I know that?! Look, I used to think the way you did, then I wizened up and realized that things weren’t gonna change unless I got in line.”

“And look how far that’s gotten you. . .”

Yeah, it doesn’t do any good when I’m stuck with somebody like –you-.”. Nappa clears his throat. “Changing the topic, these pods look like they’re in too terrible of shape to carry us the rest of the way to the planet.”

Vegeta kicks Nappa’s pod for some of the padding to come off, then goes over and looks at his, in tip-top condition. “Eh, dunno about yours, but mine’s fine.”.

“. . .You know I barely fit into my own pod. Do you even want to try-“

“Oh hell no. I’ll just go do the rest myself. Say you died during the mission.”

Nappa’s eye twitches. “Died on the Mushroom planet? Can’t you say I was killed by something more menacing?”

“Fine, I’ll say you got killed by a turtle man instead.” Nappa throws his hands up in frustration and groans. Vegeta chuckles. “If you want, I could give you the honor of being killed by the King of all Saiyans. . .As a nice bonus, if you win, you get to be the one to use the pod.”

Nappa chuckles. “Heh, actually thinks he would win. . .Much as I’d like to be rid of your smug ass, I owe it to your father. . .As. . .As tempting as that sounds, have you noticed where we are? It’s not exactly a no man’s land. It’s some kind of space station. Maybe even one of Frieza’s.”

“If it was one of Frieza’s, wouldn’t the pods have gone around it?”

“Maybe it was built recently? Anyway, not the point. We can probably force the guys here to repair the pod.”

Vegeta smirks. “So you’re too chicken to fight me over the existing pod then?”

Nappa rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.”. The two go to start heading down the walkway leading to the main space station.

***

Level 6: Martian Space Station #114

Characters: Vegeta, Nappa (4 Stock)

Music: Spaced Out/Piston it Away

The enemies consist of the green bird-esque “instant martians”, come in unarmed, guns, and a version with scooters which just tries to swoop you off the screen with mass flinching hits as they zoom past at Sonic’s dash speed. The last variety are the only real threat, as the main things that kill you via traditional knockback will be the many (Thankfully destructible) turret hazards around the stage. The turrets are typically placed out of reach unless you abuse your extensive floats, though, and the turrets are still threatening if they miss as their shots will vaporize the ground on contact. On the plus side, the turret shots will instantly vaporize any instant martians. There are portions of the stage where destroying these out of the way turrets is all but required, as there are long sections with no platforms at all that require you to use your floats as instant martians on scooters come at you, while all the lingering shots fired at you from the turret can potentially destroy the platform you’re trying to reach.

There is an awkwardly a large amount of Brawl water in the stage that you can drown in, as well as machines periodically spawning instant martians to dump into the water. Respawning enemies isn’t that notable, but in one room the dispenser is spilled and 20 instant martians are spawned for you to fight. Using the turrets to help you out with them proves vital in this room. The final area is a room that is a maze of (Drop through) stairs going through all different directions and intersect with each other at numerous points, leading to different doors. Penalties for going through false doors include another 20 instant martians, spawning with no ground under you and having to make it back up to terra firma via excessive flight, and a puzzle room where you must take advantage of an instant martian spawner to gather at least 3 martians (Or 2 and yourself) onto one plot of land to weigh down a switch.

And no, you cannot just sit at the start of the level and go Great Ape – Vegeta and Nappa can never turn into Great Apes in levels unless stated otherwise, though they are allowed to in Brawls.

***

Vegeta is seen frying the instant martians left and right while Nappa is fiddling with his scouter. The camera cuts to his vision through the scouter as the squawking of the instant martians is replaced by various gibberish. He eventually gets it set to the Frieza empire’s language, hearing a few token words before Vegeta finishes killing the last of them in the area, angering Nappa. “How are we supposed to get them to fix our pod if you kill them all?!”

Vegeta folds his arms. “Not like you were doing anything to help.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you were struggling so much with those space chickens. . .”. Nappa sighs. “Let’s just see if we can find any more of them.”

The two walk along a bit further to see K-9 with a stick of dynamite in his mouth, walking off into the distance and already quite a distance away. The two go to fly after him, but K-9 reaches Marvin a good deal before the Saiyans get there. Marvin jumps up and down excitedly upon receiving the dynamite. “Oh, goody! My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator!”. Marvin goes to adjust the cannon as he looks into the telescope portion, before inserting the space modulator into it. He takes out a match, but Vegeta and Nappa arrive before he lights it. Nappa, already having his scouter on the correct setting, talks to him. “You there. Are you one in charge here?”

“I’m not the head of Mars, but I’m in charge -here-, yes. Are you two messengers?”

“. . .Yeah, sure, why not. Your boss says that you’ve gotta fix one of our pods.”

“I’ll get on that, right after I finish blowing up this planet. It should only take a few seconds.”

“Ooohh, blowing up planets? Maybe you’re not so bad after all. . .”

Vegeta rolls his eyes. “Oh my god the irony is so huge it’s going to explode.”

Marvin nods. “Yes, it obstructs my view of the Toadstool constellation. What’s more, when the planet blows up with a nice earth shattering kaboom, there’ll be plenty of lovely fireworks, if you’d like to stay and watch.”

Nappa smirks. “One less planet for us to take over. Count me in.”. His smirk quickly fades as he actually looks at the planet that Marvin’s about to blow up, causing him to go wide eyed and steal the match away from Marvin.

Marvin puts his hands on his hips. “You foreigners! You say one thing and then do another! This is why immigration on Mars should-“

“Sorry, but we can’t let you blow up that planet, actually. We’ve gotta take it over first.”

“Why would you want a planet like –that-? It’s outright ugly to look at. . .”

“Errrr. . .Uuuuhhh. . .Mushrooms? I dunno. But our boss ain’t gonna be pleased if we let you blow it up, seeing he’s claimed it as his property.”

“You can’t mean the leader of Mars. . .You. . .You’re not really messengers, are you?”

Vegeta goes and taps Marvin on the helmet, knocking it down over his eyes. “Boy, nothing gets past you, does it?”.

Marvin adjusts his helmet as spouting angrily. “That makes me VERY angry! Martians, seize them, seize them!”

10 instant martians instantly zip on-screen from nowhere, all pointing their guns at the saiyans. Vegeta glares at Nappa. “This is why you should keep your stupid diplomacy ideas in that stupid bald head of yours.” Nappa just groans as he does a slow facepalm and drags his hand off his face.

***

Brawl: Vegeta/Nappa (2 Stock) Vs. Marvin (1 Stock)

Music: Crash 2 Cortex Boss

Yes, you have 2 stocks to Marvin’s single stock, but Marvin starts with 10 instant martians aiding him. 5 of them are unarmed, while the other 5 have pistols. While you have great recoveries, Marvin mainly kills off the top, so he has some competent ways of getting around it. In addition, if he does knock you a decent ways off-stage (More than a platform), a scooter variant of the instant martians from the last stage will zoom across the screen from the opposite blast zone at your current elevation to try to ram you off.

Nappa spinning around a ground chunk around himself while floating towards foes with his grab-game serves very useful in approaching through the instant martian horde to attack Marvin, as well as Vegeta’s zanzoken. Of course, the more sensical approach is to just outcamp the martians until you can kill them all, at which point you can turn the match into a standard Brawl. Marvin’s AI is defensive, though, so you’ll have to kill martians faster than Marvin produces them. The martians specifically from Marvin’s moveset have grab hitboxes on them and drag you into the bulk of the martians, making them very dangerous when added to the mix.

***

Nappa picks up two pieces of stationary and smashes a good chunk of instant martians between them, causing them to get smashed into pancakes and waddle off in random directions before walking off the edge. Vegeta is seen chasing Marvin as Marvin shoots back at him with his plasma pistol, going behind cover to shoot at him, but each time he stops his cover gets immediately destroyed. He eventually gets to a plasma turret and goes to mass fire at Vegeta, but Vegeta blasts the roof of the area and causes it to fall on Marvin. From the wreckage, Marvin’s hand comes out waving a white flag.

Vegeta just smirks and folds his arms. “See? You should’ve known you had no chance against the king of all Saiyans. . .”

Nappa rolls his eyes as he peels a instant martian pancake off his boot. “Yeah you keep waving around that title like it means something. King of a whole 2 other people. . .”

Marvin comes up out of the wreckage with a fairly damaged helmet. “Oh, poo. Now however will I have a proper view of the Toadstool constellation?”

Vegeta goes and grabs Marvin, lifting his puny body off the ground. “That’s not your concern right now. You’re going to either fix up our pod for us right now or give us some other space travel, or you’re dead.”

Vegeta throws Marvin to the ground for Marvin to get up and dust himself off. “Well, I’d be more than happy to let you use my own light-speed rocket ship with luxury seating. . .”. The camera cuts to the ship smashed under some wreckage, then back to Marvin with angry eyes and his arms folded. “But you two. . .Seem to have already made –fantastic- use of it.”

“Fine then, just come with us and repair the pod.”

Nappa comes up to Vegeta and grabs him by the shoulder, spinning him around to point at something. The camera cuts to a flying saucer. “Forget him. Let’s just steal –that- guy’s ship, eh?”.

Marvin keeps his angry pose. “Absolutely not! If they think you’re with me, the consequences to the inter-galactic relations between Mars and Mercury could be catastrophic!”. Nappa obviously ignores Marvin and goes and sits down at what is essentially the only remaining functioning turret in the area and sits there stupidly, trying to figure out what button to press out of a good 50 or so. Marvin angrily pushes Nappa out of the way. “Oh come on, you simpleton simian! It’s easy! This is all you have to do!”. Marvin goes and shoots at the ship before it starts shooting back. “Oh dear.” Marvin’s eyes go wide despite the basic statement, as the ship starts blowing up most of the stationary.

***

BOSS: Y THE ALIEN 

Characters: Vegeta, Nappa, Marvin (3 stock)

Boss Stamina: 350

Music: Vigilante 8 Track 4

The start of the boss fight is unique from the rest, in that you start on some stationary as the flying saucer fires a ridiculously large quantity of laser beams at you, destroying the stage you’re fighting on. The laser beams either deal 22 hits of 1% and flinching or 15% and knockback that kills at 70%, based off when you’re hit. The flying saucer is stationary at this point, making this the time to potentially damage it the most of the whole fight if you’re skilled/lucky enough to not get hit too terribly badly by the mass laser fire. Most lasers are fired at downward angles, so if you can above them you have a few shots at the flying saucer before the chase starts. Some of the lasers specifically go at you/slightly away from your position so you go into them, though, so it’s not like you’re home free even then.

After the starting stage is destroyed over 10 seconds, the actual chase begins as the Flying Saucer starts fleeing and stays on the far right side of the screen as the stage scrolls at a decent speed as you go through space. No, you do –not- have infinite recovery once this phase starts, but all 3 of your characters have very extensive recovery abilities. Bits of wreckage of Marvin’s space station show up every so often for you to touch down on to land and refresh your recovery.

Note that aside from the attacks listed, random meteors/pieces of stationary will slowly float past, varying from Kirby’s size to Bowser’s and dealing 8-14% and knockback that KOs at 150-100%. Roughly one will spawn at a random height at the right side of the screen every 3 seconds.

Attacks:

Light Speed: The flying saucer charges up for 2 seconds before blasting off in the direction it’s already going. This causes the screen to suddenly scroll far, far faster, as what is currently the far right of the screen becomes the far left of the screen over half a second. You must reach the flying saucer before the charge is up to survive, and even once you do reach it you’ll be pushed back to the left side of the screen while the saucer’s right back where it was. The Flying Saucer mainly performs this attack when you’ve already reached it just to get you away from it, but can sometimes do it otherwise.

Ram: The flying saucer zooms off the right side of the screen before showing up at the same elevation it’s already on on the left side of the screen, the zooms back to its’ position at Sonic’s dash speed. Being hit by the –side- of the saucer does 25% and knockback that KOs at 60%. You could just dodge it impulsively, but if you manage to get above/below it before it rushes past you can hit it with a single attack as it goes by, with practice.

Lasers: The flying saucer fires a laser out of a cannon sticking out of its’ top. These are the same two lasers from the start of the fight, the one that does mass flinching hits and the one that does a single strong KO hit. The lasers have infinite range and linger as long as ROB’s fully charged version. The flinching hits variation is still a borderline KO move if you’re towards the left edge of the screen, as the “flinching” hits push you towards the end of the beam slightly, and either way serve as a means of getting you away from the flying saucer. If the lasers come in contact with a meteor, the weaker laser will split the meteor up into 8 pieces with one fourth the power of the initial meteor, floating out slowly in the various directions, while the strong laser will split the meteor into only two pieces which fly in random directions at Captain Falcon’s dash speed, just as powerful as before.

Homing Missiles: The flying saucer launches a third projectile variant. These projectiles will probably reach your horizontal position quite quickly, what with them traveling 1.3x Captain Falcon’s dashing speed. However, they awkwardly circle you a while in giant loops before they actually hit you. The size of the first “circle” around you, if it were theoretically filled in, would be that of a Smart Bomb blast. As it circles around you, the circling gets consistently tighter until the homing missile finally actually hits you. You can dodge the missile, but it’ll just loop back around to you again. To get rid of it, you have to either hit it with a projectile or let it explode into a meteor/the flying saucer. If it explodes on a meteor, it will split it in two like the strong variant of the laser. In any case, be very careful if you detonate it with a projectile, as the blast radius is double Bowser’s size and quite powerful, dealing 26% and knockback that kills at 65%.

Abduction: With the screen continuing to scroll normally, the flying saucer goes to the top of the screen before getting over your horizontal position before firing out a Bowser width beam of itself to the bottom blast zone. This deals 10 hits of 1% and weak dragging upward knockback per second, along with a slight wind hitbox that pushes you upwards. If you reach the bottom of the flying saucer, you must escape a quadruple grab escape difficulty in 2.5 seconds, taking 6% per half second until you do. If you’re speed running this, you may want to let yourself get sucked up to be next to the saucer on the far right when you get out, at least if you’re at a low percentage. In any case, this attack is only particularly harmful if you go towards the upper half of the screen before the attack ever starts, though with how much crap there is to dodge and how you may want to intentionally get hit to refresh your recovery if you can’t find a platform to touch down on, there’s enough bullet hell to warrant going there.

Clash: The flying saucer starts spinning around rapidly over half a second before going to ram you, going for the most direct route to your location. It goes at about Mario’s dash speed at first, dealing 12% and knockback that kills at 125% on contact. The saucer is solid during this move, meaning dodging does not work. Once it hits you, it will deal the same knockback to itself. The only way to beat out this move is to attack it – it will actually take the knockback from your attack, though you will also take the knockback from your own attack. The saucer will immediately come in after you again two more times after this, increasing in speed and power by 1.5x each time. You have to be careful to not only not just kill yourself with the knockback you deal to yourself, but also to not knock yourself into a projectile. If the flying saucer goes through a meteor in this attack, it will break it into 8 small pieces like the weak laser. While this gives you a chance to damage the flying saucer without reaching it, it makes it more difficult to approach once it’s over, and if you were close enough to the left when the saucer started this attack you’re almost undoubtedly dead.

Omega Blast: The flying saucer goes to the bottom middle of the screen and charges up a giant projectile double the size of Bowser over Warlock Punch’s starting lag. On contact with any projectile, including a meteor or one or your own, the projectile explodes in a smart bomb sized explosion as powerful as an uncharged Dedede fsmash.

If the flying saucer is dealt 50 damage during the charging phase, it will stop this attack, though you have to be there almost immediately to stop it in time. The safest way to deal with this is to go to the opposite end of the screen and launch a projectile downwards when it’s launched (Which all 3 chars have), or let a meteor do the work for you. Meteors are simply vaporized by this projectile, not sent flying about every which way.

Camp: Not so much an attack as it is another “mode”. Upon reaching 50 HP, the saucer will use some attack to get you away from it if you’re not already away from it, (Light speed or clash) then will not simply sit at the right side of the screen. The scrolling of the stage will finally stop (With a single tiny platform permanently there for your convenience). However, the ship will now constantly be moving away from you at Mario’s dashing speed, and will only use projectile attacks (Lasers/Homing Missile), having half the normal lag between attacks it usually does. It is nearly impossible to reach at this point, meaning the easiest way to finish it is to just use projectiles. The ship will try to evade projectiles at will in this phase, so you may have to get clever and use projectiles to make the ship run into you. This is still difficult, but the homing missiles from the ship are probably your greatest weapon for actually hitting the thing, and two of them will destroy it single handedly.

***

Vegeta, Nappa, and Marvin are chasing after the flying saucer in a high speed chase, Marvin being aided via his jet boots, of course. Vegeta goes to throw some more projectiles at the already smoking ship to cause a bit of it to get blasted off. Nappa glares at Vegeta. “You do realize we have to ride in this thing, right?! Don’t blow the damn thing up!”. Vegeta doesn’t bother replying and just latches onto the ship with a sudden burst of speed. He goes to blow a hole in the side of the saucer and claw his way into the ship, his upper half inside of it, but Y the Alien gives him a plasma pistol shot to the face, stunning him long enough to push him out. Marvin sends a few more projectiles at the ship, damaging it further, before it gets away as it blasts off at an even further accelerated speed into the distance.

Vegeta clenches his fist as it trembles angrily, while Nappa just looks unamused. “So, uuuhhh, what now? We hitckhiking back to Frieza’s place?”

“. . .We’ll see if we have a way back on the planet, Nappa. It’s fairly nearby. We can make it there without the pods.”

Marvin taps his foot, regardless of the fact the 3 characters are floating in the middle of space. “Ahem, have you forgotten something? What am –I- going to do without my space station or any of my Illudium?”

Nappa shrugs. “Eh, you like blowing up planets, dontcha? You’ll fit right in with us. Before your little establishment got in our way, we were on the way to take over that planet ourselves.”

“Oh, my, that –does- sound lovely. But I prefer blowing things up with earth shattering kabooms, not just conquering.”

“Heh, don’t worry. Plenty of that too. . .But if you wanna do more of that in the future, you’re gonna have to build us a ship back to Frieza’s mainframe. Got it?”

Marvin nods rapidly before Vegeta interrupts him. “And preferably fast. We’re supposed to be back in five days.”

Marvin waves his finger as he closes his eyes. “Five days won’t be a problem, so long as I have a sufficient supply of Illudium.”

“The hell’s Illudium?”

“Oh, it is an increasingly rare substance throughout the galaxy, we have to import it from other planets. It is more commonly known to –you- creatures, whom do not know its’ worth as. . .What was it? MW3? RS26? Ah, H20, yes, that’s it.”

“. . .In common, you simpl-“

Nappa rolls his eyes. “That –is- common. He means water. His lack of a Saiyan education shows. . .

Vegeta laughs. “Water? You think water is r-“

Nappa interrupts Vegeta. “Yes, we’ll agree to get you your Illudium to make the spaceship. You drive a hard bargain, Marvin old pal, but I’ll let it slide this time.”. Nappa smirks.

Marvin nods as he claps his hands together a single time. “Goody! Maybe you two aren’t intergalactic hobos after all.”

Vegeta chuckles. “If only you knew. . .”. He turns to look at the nearby Rainbow Road, Mario-themed constellations having been in the background of the cutscene up until this point. “Eh, since when’re there rainbows in space?”

Marvin shrugs. “They’re exclusive to this part of the milky way. If you must know, this and the constellations are part of why I built my space station here. Nice view, wouldn’t you agree?”.

“. . .Yeah, if you’re the kinda guy who likes rainbows.”

“Glad you agree! You’ll be pleased to know that going along the rainbow brick road is the way to reach the Mushroom planet.”

“. . .You’re joking right?”. Vegeta lets out a loud groan, then Marvin starts flying towards the Rainbow Road, being the main focus during the freeze frame as Vegeta/Nappa are a in the background.

***

Level 7: Rainbow Road

Characters: Vegeta, Nappa, Marvin (3 Stock)

Music: Rainbow Road (MK7)

While there are jumps on this stage, they typically are not that much of an issue due to boost pads being on the ground to help speed you along. Boost pads are quite spammed throughout the stage, though, and can end up sending you careening into one of the three enemy types on this stage. One is the Rainbow Road version of Thwomps, which are just as powerful on contact at all, not just being smashed. Next is the playable version of Chain Chomp, an enemy you’re well familiar with by now but no less deadly. Last is a variant on Chain Chomp that is based specifically off the Mario Kart 64 version – the Chomp goes across the screen at Meta Knight’s dashing speed, dealing 14% and knockback that kills at 100% on contact, but more importantly devours all of the track they come across. These chomps still have 30 HP so it’s hard to –kill- them before they eat all the on-screen track, but they take knockback as much as Bowser at 60%, so you can juggle them to death. Just beware that these chomps not only come from in front of you, but behind you as well at certain points.

You can avoid going on the boosters on the main land that knock you into enemies by simply going over them with your abusive recovery, yes, but if you do it too much you’ll inevitably get all the track devoured by a chain chomp while you’re in the air, leaving you nowhere to land to refresh your recovery. At one point in the level, a faster version of a chomp going at Captain Falcon’s dash speed will come at you, forcing you to use a booster to go over a jump to get away from it. Even some of the boosters to bring you over jumps are hazardous, though, as some of the Star Thwomps are in the middle of the jumps, floating in space. In such cases, you have to time going on the boost to go under the Thwomp as it raises itself further into the air.

***

Getting back to the plot to overthrow the Koopa King, we get a brief shot of the Koopa Castle from outside to show that it’s now late at night before cutting to Kamek coming to Bowser’s throne room, flailing his arms about wildly. “King Bowser, King Bowser! You’re not going to believe this, but Mario. . .He’s. . .He’s dead! Somebody killed him!”

Bowser gives a dismissive motion to Kamek. “Yes yes. . .”. Bowser’s eyes suddenly go wide and he turns to Kamek with such speed that it comically blows some wind Kamek’s way to knock him off his feet. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

“You heard me! Somebody has killed Mario! I was there, in Toad Town, I saw it!”

“If you were there and who saw it, then who was it?!”

“Errr. . .I couldn’t see –that-! It was dark out, and that guy was quick as a flash!”

Bowser shoves Kamek out of the way. “I refuse to believe somebody could’ve beat Mario! Only –I- am allowed to beat Mario! Mario can’t just go and die when I owe him –YEARS- of payback! That chump!”. Bowser stomps out the door angrily, then the screen cuts to Bowser lowering the drawbridge and storming out of the castle.

Kamek is seen still in the throne room, waiting for Bowser to leave a decent ways off into the distance, barely even able to contain his laughter. Kamek flies out on his broom through the window and goes to the roof of the castle before firing a shape bolt a decent ways into the sky, forming blue/red/yellow fireworks. The screen cuts to King Boo’s Bowser mech looking up into the sky, the fireworks visible from the camera angle due to a reflection in the mech’s metallic eyes. The screen then cuts to King Boo inside the mech, chuckling. “That must be the signal. . .That king’ll be in for the fright of his life when he realizes he’s been replaced!”.

The camera cuts to the entrance of Bowser’s castle again as the Bowser Mech comes into view, the Koopatrolls having just finished re-raising the drawbridge. King Boo speaks through the mech, having Bowser’s normal voice but slightly raspier and with a ghastly quality to it. “What’re you idiots RAISING the drawbridge for? Let your king back in!”.

The Koopatrolls look weirded out. “But, sire, you just stormed out, and. . .”.

The other one quickly elbows him. “Don’t question him!”. He speaks more loudly, very suddenly. “As you wish, sire!”. The Koopatrolls re-lower the drawbridge and let in the Bowser Mech.

The camera casually cuts to the mech entering the throne room where Kamek is back at, for King Boo to laugh in his regular voice. “If I knew it’d be this easy, I’d of done this –AGES- ago for a nice prank!”

Kamek smirks. “Don’t get too cocky. . .If it wasn’t for my help, you’d never have gotten him out of the castle.”

The camera shows King Boo inside the mech. “Bah, spoil sport. . .”. He then moves over to speak into his mic, shouting at the top of his voice. “ATTENTION!”. The camera moves outside of the mech’s body, the rest being heard in Bowser’s voice. “Report to the fire bridge for an IMPORTANT announcement, IMMEDIATELY. Anyone who doesn’t attend can spend the rest of the night in the Chomp pit!”.

The mech laughs, and the screen fades out and back in to show the entire castle gathered at the place where Wario and Bowser fought earlier, the iconic SMB arena. Only Kamek and King Boo are actually seen on the bridge. Bowser Jr. tries to jump up to get a good view, before eventually going under an obese Koopa’s legs to reach the front. He asks said obese Koopa a question. “What’s going on? Why’re we all here, and why are dad and Kamek on the bridge?”

“Guess you’re too young to have seen this before, kid. . . This is where Koopas fight when one challenges the existing leader for king of the Koopa Troop. Whoever falls in the lava first loses. Your dad’s only the leader cause no Koopa can beat him in a wrestling match.”

“So. . .That means Kamek’s challenging him?”. Bowser Jr. laughs. “Nobody can beat my dad!”.

“Unfortunately. . .”

“What was that?!”

“Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh. . .”

Bowser Jr. stomps on the Koopa’s feet, causing him to topple over in pain. He laughs at him before the camera cuts to Kamek and King Boo. The Bowser mech laughs. “You sure you wanna do this, Kamek? I almost feel bad punching an old man. . .Almost.”

“I shouldn’t have let your tyranny go on this long, Bowser. You’re only the king because you inherited it from your father, and ever since you came into power it’s only been disappointment after disappointment for all of Koopa kind. I am the true king the Koopas deserve!”

The mech laughs. “Yeah, sure. Maybe if you weren’t an old man who was gonna die of a heart attack in a week tops, you’d make a decent leader. Anyway, there’s NO WAY you can beat me!”. The camera cuts to King Boo inside his mech. “He –is- far too frail for me to really mess him up much, but I can’t just let the Koopa King fall too easily. Nobody would believe that when he’s been ruler for so long. . .Guess I’ll have to give them a little show.”

***

Brawl: Bowser (1 Stock) Vs. Kamek (1 Stock)

Music: Bowser Mech Battle

Yes, you play “Bowser” in this battle, considering he’s the one that has to do the actual acting. You must deal at least 100% to Kamek to make the battle look convincing, though killing him is obviously an instant loss. If you take 70%, though, the mech’s head will fly off as electricity sparks from the mech and King Boo comes out, resulting in a loss aside from death. You are not allowed to drop the axe in this fight, and Kamek will go to do so no matter what after 60 seconds pass. At this point, should you be successful, you will lose control and automatically fall into the lava, passing the stage.

***

The Bowser Mech falls into the lava and starts disintegrating. King Boo subtly phases out of the mech during this time while the mech is exploding dramatically, then produces to exit the room by going through a wall. He’s seen frantically wiping lava off his tongue before the camera cuts to Kamek taking several bows as the Koopa Troop applauds him. Bowser Jr. looks horrified and goes to run straight into the lava. “Dad, dad! No!”.

He is held back by the obese Koopa. “It’s no good, kid. He ain’t gonna make it.”

Jr. continues running against the Koopa pull, looking down at the mech sinking into the lava briefly before looking at Kamek, yelling at him. “Quick, quick! Animate his bones! Turn him into Dry Bowser! Before it’s too late!”.

“Animate him so he can challenge my rule, come back into power, and give us another decade of tyranny? I think not. Say goodbye to your father, Jr., it’s the last-“

Jr. chomps down on the obese Koopa’s hands, trying to get him to let go, causing Kamek to roll his eyes. “I can see this isn’t going to work.”. Kamek clears his throat. “As my first order as King of the Koopa Troop, I order you all to throw that spoiled daddy’s boy into the lava and reunite him with his father.” Kamek grins evilly during the later half of his decree, though Jr. has escaped the obese Koopa’s grasp by this point. None the less, he is quickly surrounded by Koopatrolls.

Iggy and Lemmy comes out from among the Koopatrolls, Iggy waving his hands. “Woah woah woah. I’m fine with offing the little guy, but this is honestly one of the main reasons I joined up with ya, Kamek. Lemmy and I here wanna off this ungrateful runt ourselves.”.

Lemmy looks a bit wary and whispers to Lemmy. “We’re not really gonna kill him, right?”

Iggy doesn’t bother whispering. “What do you think?! -Obviously- we’re killing him”.

“Uuuhhh, Buuuhhhhht. . .Isn’t that a bit harsh? I’m not sure I wanna kill my own brother. . .”

“Don’t think of him as your brother then. Just think of your circus.”

Bowser Jr. folds his arms. “You know I can hear everything you’re saying right?”

“And?”

“Welp, you should know that all this talk’s pretty pointless, cause there’s no way you’re gonna beat me! I’m Bowser’s favorite, the TRUE Koopa King’s favorite! I. . .I’ll beat Kamek too! I’ll be the new Koopa King!”.

This causes the Koopas surrounding Jr. to burst out into laughter, Iggy quickly joining them. “Yeah, the true Koopa King rotting at the bottom of the lava!”.

Lemmy shrugs. “Yeah, we get it. He’s stupid. But can we just banish him or something? I dunno, I’m kinda uncomfortable. . .”

“You wouldn’t want to disobey a direct order from Kamek, the NEW Koopa King, now would you?”. Iggy grins and Lemmy just sighs before they turn to Jr, the Koopatrolls giving them some space.

***

Brawl: Iggy/Lemmy (1 Stock) Vs. Bowser Jr. (1 Stock)

Music: SMG2 Bowser Jr.

A third fight on the lava bridge, though at least this one doesn’t involve Bowser himself in some way. Nothing to see here. Kamek is a hazard for this fight in the background, firing his shape bolts at Bowser Jr.’s general direction, but never specifically at him, meaning you’re probably more likely to actually get hit if you’re engaging Bowser Jr. directly.

***

As soon as the cutscene begins, Iggy performins an aerial claw swipe at Bowser Jr. to knock him downwards into the bridge harshly, so harshly that the bridge bends downwards a good bit from the impact briefly before snapping into place. . .Though not before bringing Jr. dangerously close to the lava. Before he gets up, Lemmy runs over Bowser Jr. with his ball, leaving him in a daze. . .Then runs over him a second time from the opposite direction. Jr. finally gets up before being run over a third time, at which point he is knocked back a ways by the ball to the opposite side of the arena, right next to the hole in the wall Wario made when fighting Bowser here earlier. Jr. shakes his fist and glares at where his father died. “I’ll avenge you, father!” before leaping outside to flee. Jr. curls into his shell to make for a (Relatively) soft landing, then goes to run off.

The obese Koopa turns to look at Kamek. “Do we go after him, Kamek?”

Kamek chuckles. “Where’s he going to go? To the Mushroom people to get killed by the Italians instead?”.

***

Bowser is seen getting spun around by the tail by Mario while getting pelt by mass fireballs from Luigi. “Come on, Mario, really! I thought you were dead! Dead! That’s what my scouts told me! I wasn’t even doin’ nothin’! Just lemme go!”.

Mario nods. “Let’s-a go!”. Mario lets Bowser go, sending him flying off into a building. Luigi and Mario exchange some Italian Superstar Saga-esque gibberish briefly before going to leave, Bowser sighing and getting up as he goes to head back to his castle. “Kamek’s gonna have –hell- to pay for this. . .”

***

Bowser arrives outside his castle for Jr. to run up and hug him. “Dad, dad! You’re back! I thought I’d never see you again!”.

Bowser pries his son off with aggravation. “Not now, Jr. I’ve got more important things to deal with. Kamek. . .Heh heh. . .”. Bowser smacks his fists together. “Oh Kamek’s gonna take this one with him to his grave if he doesn’t have a PERFECT explanation for this. . .”

“But. . .But dad? How did you survive?”

“I’ve taken a beating from the brothers before, son. Nothing your old man can’t handle.”

“No, no, I mean, being thrown into the lava by Kamek!”

“Yeah yeah. . .Wait. . .WHAT?!”.

“I saw you! I saw Kamek knock you into the lava! You didn’t even swim out! You sank like a rock!”

“Don’t you talk about me that way! I’d never go down so easy! You know that!”.

“But it’s true, it’s true!”

“Well then that wasn’t me! It must’ve been some imposter!”

The Koopatrolls responsible for manning the drawbridge are woken up by Bowser’s shouting. “Hey, look, Bowser. I know you’re a sore loser, but Kamek’s our king now, and we’re under orders to not let you back into the castle!”.

Bowser’s eye twitches before he starts mumbling to himself. “Kamek?! That –WIMP- is the Koopa King?! That sneaky bastard. . .Knew he couldn’t beat me in a fist fight. Had to go and devise a cowardly plan like this. . .”.

Bowser Jr. sighs. “So how do we get in to stop him, father?”

Bowser chuckles. “If they won’t open the drawbridge, we’ll just have to climb our way up.”.

“But how do we get past the lava moat to get to the walls?”.

“Eh, it’s easy. We’ll just get a runnin’ start.”. Bowser eyes Jr.’s paintbrush. “Gimme that.”. Bowser takes Jr.’s paintbrush and splatters some paint across the ground. “We’ll run across this and slide onto the wall, then we’ll impale our spikes in the wall and climb up.”.

“I dunno, dad, that sounds. . .”

Bowser laughs. “Show some spine, kid! Just watch your old man do it first, then you try.”. Bowser goes back a ways before doing his plan. Once impaling his back into the castle wall, he curls up into a ball much like in Bowser’s inside story and starts climbing the wall. Upon seeing his dad do it, Jr. mimics him fairly easily, actually doing it better due to not being so heavy.

***

Level 8: Bowser’s Castle Walls

Characters: Bowser, Bowser Jr. (4 Stock)

Music: Koopa’s Road (Galaxy 2)

This level is a constant upward climb, making Thwomps and Whomps rather common as things you must progress over, but more common are aerial Paratroopas who will attack you as you attempt to make the climb. Bullet Bill cannons are also quite common, as well as Snifit artillery. The most dreaded enemy, though, is undoubtedly the Chuckyas, the Mario 64 exclusive enemy. Upon grabbing you, you can escape at 2.5x grab difficulty before they move to an edge and throw you diagonally downwards with Ganon dair knockback and 18%. More-so than killing you, they can force you to redo massive portions of the stage all over again, a far worse fate. Regardless of the competent enemies, though, the main difficulty is platforming, and said enemies will try to snipe at you as you try to make the many difficult vertical climbs.

***

Bowser is seen continuing to claw his way up to his castle, trying to reach the top with his throne room. Kamek pops his head out the window at Bowser and laughs. “What good is coming in here going to do? None of your men listen to you anymore. –I’m- the new Koopa King!”

“How’re they gonna listen to you when you’re dead, huh?! You two timing backstabber!”

Kamek chuckles. “Oh Bowser. . .Always about the mindless violence, isn’t it? If you won’t settle things like a grown-up, then you’ll just have to get a nice time out, just like old times.”. Kamek fires several shape bolts at the wall Bowser’s about to grab onto/the wall he’s already on, causing it to phase into a Whomp and Bowser to lose his grip. Bowser claws at the Whomp en mass, but the Whomp body slams him and Jr. They swim through the air, flailing madly to get out from under it, and manage to barely do so. They claw at the wall and scrape against it with said claws, barely stopping their descent before they hit the lava moat around the castle.

The camera cuts back to Kamek’s view as he chuckles. “That’ll show –him- to mess with the Koopa King. . .”. Kamek raises his voice significantly as he turns around. “I want everybody to man the walls. We’re not letting him in again. . .”.

King Boo comes into the room along with Wario after the Koopatrolls in it leave. King Boo beckons to Wario. “I brought this fat prisoner, just as you ordered.”

Wario dusts himself off. “Took yous-ah long enough to take over this place.”

Kamek rolls his eyes. “No thanks to you, Wario. . .Just be glad I’m in a good mood, or else I might keep you locked up in there.”

“So where’s my pay, eh?”

“Why should I pay you when you failed to carry out the task you were assigned? If money is what you seek, man the walls with the others and join us on the raid tomorrow on the Mushroom Kingdom. You’re more than welcome to stay as one of our enforcers. . .”

“I’ll join ya on the raid, but I ain’t gonna buckle down and join you officially or nothin’, see? I can’t stand bein’ tied down like that.”

Iggy and Lemmy come into the room, looking fairly annoyed. Lemmy tugs at Kamek’s robe from behind to make him turn around. “What’s the big deal, Kamek?! You said we were going to be third and fourth in command! They’re trying to make us go out to man the walls with everyone else!”

Kamek rolls his eyes. “Your leverage of tattling to your father is gone, boys. I don’t have to do anything you say at this point. Just be glad I’m not throwing you out like Jr., since you’re slightly less annoying.”.

Iggy facepalms. “Knew this would happen.”.

King Boo chuckles. “Why’d you go through with it then? You just that gullible, kid?”

“I –thought- Kamek was more reasonable than my father. . .But looks like I just threw out one tyrant and put in another.”

Kamek sighs. “I’m not a tyrant, it’s just. . .You have that –abomination’s- genes in you. You’re good for what you came up from, Iggy, but still. . .”

King Boo flails his hands in front of himself as if to block from Iggy. “Indeed! You’ve got Bowser’s DNA in you! It’s, like, a disease! Your stupidity is contagious!”

Lemmy smirks. “Well, you must already have caught it, cause you’re dead!”

Iggy groans. “Just shut up, Lemmy.”. He looks up at Kamek. “We’re going, we’re going. . .”.

Lemmy frowns at Iggy once they leave the room. “Errr. . .We’re not just gonna take this lying down, are we?”

“Of course not, you idiot. I didn’t expect Kamek to go back on our deal. . .But if he is. . .”

Kamek, Wario, and King Boo come out of the room and start going down the stairs together, King Boo licking his lips. “Sure am hungry after almost getting burned alive. Could go for something spicy.”

Wario is drooling. “Yeah, and somethin’ with a lot of garlic!”

Kamek chuckles. “Ah, don’t worry. All that and more will be at the celebratory feast of the new Koopa King!”

This is shown from Iggy and Lemmy’s viewpoint as they watch the trio go down the stairs, Iggy rubbing his chin before chuckling. “The dining room’s on the same level as the dungeon. . .All I’ve gotta do is release the Chomps on them. With all that food they’re making, they’ll head right to them!”. Iggy laughs.

The screen fades in and out to show Iggy at the chomp pit Wario was thrown into before. Lemmy peeks around a wall and gives a thumbs up to Iggy, causing Iggy to nod, then Lemmy hastily opens the door to another room and runs inside frantically, closing the door behind him. Iggy goes to hook up his chariot to his personal chain chomp, then releases the chomp, causing it to run flying after a visible steamy trail, presumably the food Kamek’s group is eating. As he passes by the main chomp cage (Where the chomps are already banging against the walls, allured by the smell of the food), he shatters the lock on the cage with his wand, causing a giant group of Chain Chomps to rampage through the halls. The camera cuts to the group eating their feast together, with plenty of visible aromas coming off of their foods. . .The stench of garlic is quite cleanly coming off from Wario’s mouth/King Boo’s tongue as well. They hear a loud rumbling sound that causes the food on the table to start shaking and some of it to bounce off the table, some of them getting splattered by the food (And a still living partially cooked Blooper flailing onto Kamek’s lap), before the Chain Chomp army rampages into the room, with Iggy at the front of it laughing psychotically.

***

Level 9: Bowser’s Castle Halls

Characters: Kamek, King Boo, Wario (3 Stock)

Music: SM3DL Final Boss

This is, as you’d expect, a chase level akin to the Chomp chase levels from Yoshi’s Island. . .But not with just one Chomp, instead an army of chomps. The chomps occupy the left side of the screen as you run to the right and the stage scrolls, with Iggy very clearly visible among them launching his basic projectiles at you all the while. There is more Super Mario World grating in this level, where you must go from one side to another to get past certain obstacles at points. Not a problem for the chomps, whom just rampage through the obstacles. There is the occasional Koopatroll in the level whom just exists to get killed by the Chomps and will not attack you, due to you being their king, but some will be fleeing frantically on the grating for their lives and will knock you out of the way to get there, moving faster than regular Koopatrolls. Another section has you destroying mass blocks, where you have to make a clear path to the end as some of the blocks are either unbreakable or will lead to freeing some thwomps surrounded by clusters of blocks. The end of the level has you yet again reach the infamous fire bridge, where most of the Chomps, due to coming through the door in a single cluster, fall down into the lava.

***

Wario and King Boo are seen panting, while Kamek just has a deep sigh of relief, not having physically ran thanks to his broomstick, as they watch the chain chomps sinking into the lava. Iggy is strugglint to control his own from going in, flailing at the reigns on the chariot en mass. Lemmy runs into the room before looking down at the lava. He puts two and two together and goes to run out, but King Boo goes to block him in a flash as soon as Lemmy turns around, screaming to scary Lemmy out of his wits and making him run over to Lemmy’s side. King Boo chuckles. “Shall we finish them, Kamek?”

Kamek nods in approval as he readies a shape bolt on his wand. “Indeed. Knew I should’ve just banished you two along with Jr. . .”

Wario clears his throat, looking out down through the hole in the wall. “Eh, guys, we gots-ah bigger problems. Bowser and his kid are scaling the walls and are headin’ for this entrance.”

Kamek sighs. “Fine, fine! King Boo, you babysit the children. Wario, stall Bowser.”.

“And what’re you gonna do, wise guy?”

“Me? I’m going to channel this little guy from dinner. . .”. Kamek takes out the partially fried still living Blooper he was attempting to eat. “Into a monster.”. Kamek drops the blooper on the bridge and begins putting his mass magical energy into it. Wario shrugs and takes out a Bob-Omb before throwing it down at Bowser. King Boo is seen already fighting the two Koopa Kids, hurling projectiles at them en mass.

***

Brawl: King Boo (2 Stock) Vs. Iggy (1 Stock) and Lemmy (1 Stock)

Music: SMB3 Bowser

You have an equal amount of stocks, though the fact both your enemies are out at once gives you the disadvantage. In any case, you may want to opt for a more defensive King Boo, here, as the fire Blooper from the cutscene is on-stage and has a paltry 20 stamina. If it dies, you lose. Thankfully, it gets bulkier over time, gaining 1 stamina a second, increasing in size. Still, using your shield to cover it may be necessary during the initial phases of the battle. If Lemmy gets smart enough to set up traps during this time, you could be in for some trouble. Either way, Iggy is typically more than enough to buy time for Lemmy with his immediate Chain Chomp threat. If the Chain Chomp is too problematic, keep in mind the blooper can take knockback, even from your attacks, as heavy as Jigglypuff at 50%, though it won’t take any damage from your attacks thankfully.

***

Wario reaches into his pockets to try to find another Bob-Omb while still looking downward, snickering. However, there’s no further Bob-Ombs there, causing Wario to get up and search his pockets en mass, fumbling around and tossing out a couple stray coins and garlick before shrugging to the camera. Bowser reaches the ledge and swipes Wario away with his ledge attack, pulling himself in to reveal that Jr just hitchhiked along on his father’s back. Jr. hops off and kicks off Wario’s face, causing him to teeter backwards aways. Kamek turns and sees Bowser has come in to let out a slightly muffled high pitched shriek that resembles his voice in NSMB Wii, before throwing the fiery blooper (Now quite large) into the lava. He then proceeds to sprinkle his signature magic dust over the lava, causing King Kaliente from the Mario Galaxy games, a mutated lava Blooper thingymabob, to come up from the lava. Kamek grabs Wario and teleports out the door before closing and locking it, while King Boo simply phases his way out.

***

BOSS: KING KALIENTE

Characters: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Lemmy, Iggy (4 Stock)

Boss Stamina: 600

Music: Gooper Blooper (Olympic Games)

Considering you’ve already fought on this arena –four times- from Bowser’s boss moveset, there’s not exactly much new to describe. The axe is unusable, as it would only end up harming you rather than the boss. In any case, Kaliente’s face is above the bridge in the middle of the stage, his main hurtbox, while most of his tentacles are just sticking out of the lava below the bridge where they can’t be attacked when he’s not using them for his own attacks.

Attacks:

Fireball: The most basic and obvious of Kaliente’s attacks, as he spits lava at the player’s current position. The projectile moves at a decent speed, and deals 10% and knockback that KOs at 140% on contact. This is not a real “attack” used in the boss’ random selection of attacks. Instead, during the period where most bosses would be doing nothing to wait for their next attack, King Kaliente uses this attack a single time. If the projectile hits the bridge, it will create a Kirby sized fire trap that lingers for 3 seconds, dealing 2% and flinching per half second. There is enough lag for this attack for you to realize to jump so that the projectile hits the wall, and thus does not make a trap.

Bridge Grab: Kaliente grabs a portion of the bridge 2 platforms in width where you currently are, then brings it down just close enough for you to touch the lava if you’re standing there. He then releases it upwards, causing it to swing up and down en mass for about 5 seconds, doing 20% and knockback that kills at 70% at first before steadily being less and less powerful as the momentum weakens and the bridge gets more steady. If the bridge ends up bouncing in front of Kaliente’s head, you won’t be able to do much to damage him, outside of hitting the odd tentacle that very briefly lingers above the bridge during his idle animation.

Lava Splash: Kaliente flails around his tentacles, splashing lava up onto the main stage randomly, though with a slightly higher chance of flailing it where you are. The lava is just as powerful as going into it normally here. Still, the lava doesn’t come up that quickly, making it feasible to avoid, though the random arcs can make it annoying. What makes this attack truly threatening is that the lava will stick around on the bridge afterwards, still being just as powerful as it lingers there for 8 seconds – long enough for Kaliente to do another attack. If Kaliente grabs the portion of the bridge with the lava, when the bridge is lowered all the lava on the bridge will “leak” over to that position, then when it flails the lava will be splattered about to the sides at incredibly high speeds, 1.5x more powerful than normal and ignoring shields entirely. Kaliente –can- use this attack twice in a row for more lava, though the random arcs of the lava means most of the lava will probably just refresh existing lava on the bridge.

Ink Blast: Using his actual Blooper genes, Kaliente spits out a Bowser sized chunk of gunk at you, dealing a very meaty 24%, but only knockback that kills at 140%. If it hits the bridge and not a wall, it will create a 1.2x bowser width patch of inky ground on it that lasts 20 seconds and causes that ground to be treated as Brawl ice. If it hits you specifically, the splot on the ground will be created anyway, but your character will be covered in it for 10 seconds, taking an extra 10% poison damage for a total of 34%, and causing their traction to constantly be as if they were on ice. This wouldn’t be so bad if it wouldn’t mean you’re constantly slipping into the lava on the bridge.

Tentacle Grab: An incredibly fast attack. Not only is the lag very small, but Kaliente will always use the tentacle closest to you to try to grab you, with no visual indication or sound telltales. If he grabs you, he’ll attempt to move you down into the lava at Mario’s dashing speed, dealing 2% to you per quarter second as he does so. If you hit the lava, you’ll get bounced back up to the stage (If at a high enough percentage, like the SSB64 Brinstar lava), possibly into more lava on the bridge. He has a tendency of moving your horizontal position while you’re grabbed, not just your vertical position, so you may well end up under a portion of the bridge that’s flailing or lava on it.

Lava Bubbles: King Kaliente ducks the meat of his body into the lava and only peeks out his face, looking upwards. It comes out at a random side of the stage. Kaliente will then blow lava bubbles up towards the stage as he goes across to the opposite blast zone. The lava bubbles float up incredibly slowly at half the speed Jigglypuff balls, and form a diagonal line as they go up due to the order they were created, enough bubbles (15+) to form a complete line across the stage. On contact, you take 8% and Zamus dsmash level stun as the bubble pops, then automatically get hit by the lava that drops out of the popped bubble. The lava from the bubbles will linger for 8 seconds when it lands on the stage, just as long as the lava from  lava splash. Projectiles can pop the bubbles, and even Kaliente can via his generic fireball. Not only can it pop the bubbles, but it will not be used up once it goes through a bubble, meaning you best make sure the arc the projectile goes at doesn’t pop too many of the bloody things.

Tentacle Flail: Probably the most generically difficult attack to avoid in Kaliente’s arsenal – he randomly flails his tentacles about, dealing 9% and knockback away from them that KOs at 125%. It’s almost impossible to not get hit by this attack once over the two second duration, but one hit typically leads to many many more. While the tentacles flail in random directions with massive range and tons of hitboxes, they never flail towards Kaliente’s head, making it not only a safe spot but also a chance to rack more damage on him if you don’t get caught in the chaos. Just hope that no lava’s there or the bridge isn’t bouncing about there. . .Which is kind of difficult when you’re constantly going to his head to damage him. Avoiding this attack is possible without reaching Kaliente’s head, but generally requires you to stay low to the ground if you don’t want to get combo’d off the top blast zone. Both this and lava bubbles mean you can’t just hide in the air to avoid the lava.

Lava Tidal Wave: Kaliente raises up two tentacles on a random side of the stage before slamming them down, dealing 18% and knockback that kills at 90%. When the tentacles hit the ground, a lava tidal wave as tall as 5 Ganondorfs will spawn, the lava as powerful as ever. The tidal wave goes all the way across the stage at Captain Falcon’s dashing speed, and is too wide to roll dodge through. As the tidal wave goes, it gets smaller and smaller, only a single Ganondorf tall on the far left side of the stage. You have to run from it for awhile, but you probably can’t outrun it outright, so you’ll have to jump over it when the time’s right. If there’s lava on the stage, running across it can be a dangerous prospect.

***

Kamek’s group is scene watching Bowser’s group from the outside. Kaliente is seen shrinking down into the lava, causing King Boo to cringe and Wario’s jaw to drop.

Kamek has a non-chalant look on his face as he places his pointer finger underneath Wario’s jaw, then casually pushes it back up into place. “Relax, friends. They may have beaten my Blooper, but they’re exhausted. There’s no way they can defeat us now. Bowser’s taking a beating from the Mario brothers, his own minions, that gigantic octopus. . .”

“But. . .Wah-wah-wah about the others, eh?”

“It’s not like they haven’t been doing a lot today either, Wario. Besides, you’re not afraid of a bunch of kids, are you?”

Wario flexes. “Of course-ah not! Let’s go finish em off!”

King Boo nods. “We can’t let ourselves be embarrassed after we’ve come so far. We’re ending this here and now.”. King Boo chuckles. “And either way I win, because the losers will become my new subjects!”

Wario slams open the doors and grins evily. Bowser looks exhausted, but forces himself to regain a competent posture. His children, however, cannot suck it up so easily. “C’mon kids! You’re not like this cowardly backstabbin’ wimp! One of you is gonna be my heir some day, and you can’t give up so-“

Kamek fires a shape bolt at Bowser. “For the love of god. . .Don’t you –EVER- give up?!”

Bowser runs up towards Kamek’s group, grinning. “You should know by now, Kamek, that if I’ve got ANTHING down, it’s my persistence! I will –NEVER- stop until I get what I want!”

***

Brawl: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Lemmy, Iggy (3 Stock) Vs. Wario (1 Stock), King Boo (1 Stock), Kamek (1 Stock)

Music: Bowser’s Rage

You get to pick 3 of the 4 available characters, and will cycle through each of them upon death. The character you didn’t pick will be a computer controlled ally, though once they’re gone it’s a 1v2 match for the rest of it if you haven’t killed 2/3 enemy characters yet. Wario and King Boo spawn first, and Kamek will spawn once one of them die.

***

Vegeta, Nappa, and Marvin finally reach the Mushroom Kingdom. Nappa motions off in a direction to Marvin. “You go that way. Think I saw an ocean that way when we were entering the planet’s atmosphere. We’ll meet up with you there in 2 days, have the rocketship ready.”

Marvin salutes before giddily running off with his rocket boots. “A whole ocean of Illudium? My, my, I can’t believe I almost blew this planet up!”

Vegeta folds his arms. “You done with your little friend? We’ve got work to do. We’re on a tight schedule.”

Nappa chuckles. “Not like it matters, we lucked out, Vegeta. It’s a full moon out tonight.”

Vegeta and Nappa go to look at the moon to begin their Great Ape transformations. Only the first half of them transforming is shown before the screen cuts to Marvin going off where Nappa told him to, though he looks back and goes wide eyed at the sight of the great apes.

***

Level 10: Toad Town

Characters: Great Ape Vegeta, Great Ape Nappa (2 Stock)

Music: Rampage World Tour Tourist

This level is not remotely a challenge in any degree under normal circumstances, to the point it’s almost impossible to kill yourself to use the second Great Ape character. This is why you have a time limit on the stage to effectively destroy 51% of the town and kill 80% of the people. Don’t let too many get away, and don’t take your sweet time. Regardless, while the numbers are not lenient enough to be mindlessly easy, it’s not much of a challenge, and is more of a reward level than anything.

***

Nappa is seen pulling a random person out of Peach’s castle and eating them, before spitting them out. “Damn vegetable people. Why couldn’t we go to a planet of pig people or somethin’?”.

Vegeta sighs. “We don’t have time for crap like that, Nappa. Just finish off that castle and let’s move on to the next one.”

Nappa sighs before casually doing a giant tail sweep to crumble down Peach’s castle. Luigi arrives on the scene and Nappa goes to grab him, but Luigi hops up to avoid it. Nappa just uses his other hand to grab him while he’s in the air, though, and throws him off into the distance to Mario’s house. Luigi proceeds to go flying all the way to Mario’s house and lands face first, getting reverse pitfalled Superstar Saga style. Luigi gets up out of the ground and shakes his head about to get off the dirt, then runs into the house, screaming Mario’s name. Luigi shakes Mario rapidly, pointing outside as speaking in Italian gibberish, before Mario slaps Luigi and goes back to bed. The screen proceeds to cut to Vegeta and Nappa coming outside Bowser’s fortress, with the Mario cast of the chapter looking out that single hole from the fire bridge room.

***

Brawl: Great Ape Vegeta, Great Ape Nappa (2 Stock) Vs. Bowser, Bowser Jr., Lemmy, Iggy, Kamek, King Boo (1 Stock each)

Music: Vigilante 8 Track 10

Nappa has a boss mode meant to fight 3 people, yes. . .It’s not Great Ape mode, which is overpowered even for a boss with minimal downsides, much less considering you cannot be knocked out of great ape mode here or in the previous level. The AI of the enemy characters is fairly stupid during all of this anyway, giving you some decent slaughter to close the chapter.

***

Nappa uproots a gigantic side tower from the castle and hefts it over his shoulder, then swings it like a baseball bat to cleave off the top portion of the castle. Vegeta reaches his arm into the hole where the playable characters are hiding and pulls out the Koopa Kids, crushing them in his hand. He then proceeds to fire a mouth beam into the castle, frying Bowser himself. Kamek teleports out and King Boo phases out, but Kamek is quickly stomped on by Nappa and King Boo nearly vaporized by another mouth beam from Vegeta. Nappa continues stomping on the castle wreckage, making a cache of coins visible. Nappa goes to stomp on it as well, but Vegeta grabs Nappa’s arm and pulls him away, nearly making Nappa topple over from the loss of balance.

“You idiot! They want this planet in-tact! Don’t go destroying the valuables!”. Nappa groans and nods before leaving the area with Vegeta. Wario then pokes his head out of the gold after they’re gone and swims in the money, laughing evily. He then loads as much as he can into his trousers before running off in the opposite direction from the Saiyans, leaking gold out of his pants as he goes.

***

Bowser by BKupa666 (MYM 11)

Iggy by MasterWarlord (MYM 11)

Lemmy by Hyper_Ridley (MYM 5)

Bowser Jr. by BKupa666 (MYM 9)

Kamek by n88_2004 (MYM 8)

Chain Chomp by n88_2004 (MYM 9)

Wario Land Wario  by MasterWarlord (MYM 10)

Vegeta by Smash Daddy (MYM 9)

Nappa  by MasterWarlord (MYM 9)

King Boo by BKupa666 (MYM 9)

Marvin the Martian by Davidreamcatcha (MYM 11)

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Responses

  1. You used n88’s Kamek. You broke my heart, Fredo.

  2. No comments?

    This was excellent, truly. It’s fairly obvious stuff for a story mode, but executed far better than it ever was in our blooming years. The story is really interesting, and the political intrigue is similar to Survivor, without being -too- similar to Survivor. The gameplay segments are brief, but well-explained and nicely imagined. Bosses as usual are a lot of fun.

    I’ve said this to you in private plenty… kind of want to see Lemmy and Bowser Jr. die or get written off. You did as well as you could characterising them, I just hate those archetypes. Needless to say, love the characterisation on King Boo, Kamek, Vegeta, Nappa and the Mario Bros. Very good work.

    Off course we get the non-sequitor ending that acts as a cliffhanger. I do hope you continue this story mode, though apparently it’d be for my sole enjoyment.

    • I think (or hope) a lot of the reason behind the lack of commentary was MYM13 starting up today.

      Anyways, full review coming probably sometime tomorrow.

  3. As always, Warlord, this is an excellent story mode. In fact, I’d go as far as saying it’s among your best. Definitely an improvement from Paradox, no offense.

    The characterization was done about as well as it usually is, which is to say fantastic. Nappa, Vegeta, King Boo, Kamek, Marvin, and Wario are probably my favorite SM newcomers among the cast. As for the veterans, they don’t disappoint either. In particular, with his last line in the chapter, you managed to capture Bowser’s entire essence.

    The stages are creative as always, with a great soundtrack to go along with it. The only disappointing part was a lack of the Martian Alert theme, but you’ve probably already gotten enough crap from David about that, so I won’t add to that. Besides, the music you used in its place isn’t bad.

    The boss battles are also well done (I’m sensing a pattern here). Out of the two, though, I’ve got to prefer King Calimari. Y’s fight looks creative on paper, but it also seems like it would be a bit of a hassle to actually play out.

    The whole coup d’etat of the Koopa Kingdom was definitely the shining part of the chapter. Granted, it takes up more than half of the chapter, but I digress. As Smady said, the whole political intrigue is fascinating, and it would have been nice to see which side would’ve won the final bout before Vegeta and Nappa blew them the f*ck up. I mean, we all saw the massacre coming the moment the two saiyans first appeared. Might as well get some conclusion to the other side story beforehand.

    All in all, you did a superb job, Warlord. Please do continue this one.

  4. Will not get a chapter 2. Or something that utilizes the Martian Alert theme. (SAD)

  5. That… was honestly better than I was expecting, and I was thinking this would be pretty good, given I liked most of your Story Modes. The characterization is excellent on basically everyone, you managing to bring out characters who aren’t as fleshed out in the Mario universe such as King Boo and Kamek extremely well(hell, those two were probably my favorite characters of the lot).

    The plot itself was pretty enjoyable, I agree with Smady and MDA on the political aspects being enjoyable, you manage to give most of the characters time to be fleshed out and made interesting, and the scenario of Bowser trying to storm back into his own castle was pretty great. The inclusion of Marvin and Nappa/Vegeta felt pretty natural as well, always a plus.

    As far as gameplay goes, this is probably the absolute best SM in regards to that already, with even fairly generic levels being given a lot of care into how they’re set up, and actually going into detail on enemy designs, something I’ve wanted more from out of SMs for quite some time. King Kaliente is an awesome boss, and Y the Alien was pretty fun too, if albeit I felt he was a bit ridiculously tough for literally the first boss of the game.

    Far as complaints, Bowser’s family sans Iggy wasn’t particularly likable, and looking at Iggy I wouldn’t expect him to be as sane as he was in this SM to be honest. The difficulty, given it’s a first chapter, was a bit high, although generally more difficult bosses tend to be more interesting ones. Though I suppose in the case of bosses like King Kaliente, they don’t have nearly the ability to kill you that Brawl bosses do.

    What I complained about there, as you can probably tell, is hardly a big deal to me. I will definitely not forgive you if there is no Chapter 2. Or for that matter, if this thing isn’t finished.

  6. Rest assured, everyone, if this doesn’t get finished and gets truly canceled somehow, you’ll in the very least be getting the 6000 word plan document.

  7. (goo)


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